My friend and I like the same guy but she doesn't know.

[hey_you]

My friend and I are interested in the same guy. He and I were friends first and I had a crush on him yet never said anything. She told me a few weeks ago that she liked him, and I didn't tell her how I felt. He recently admitted to me that he likes me, and I don't know what to do. I really like this guy but my friend is really sensitive that last time she cried when other people liked the guy she liked. I feel like I really need to tell her but I don't know how. He and I both want to be together but we can't because of her.

This love triangle causes awkward encounters because he always wants to be around me, so when she sees us together she thinks I'm bringing him around for her. I don't want to make her cry to upset but I know it's inevitable. I'm frustrated at the prospect of her potentially being really childish about the situation because we're all in college, but at the same time I don't want to let him go. Any advice?

[heatherlu]

You've done nothing wrong. Remember that.

The best place to start would be to sit down with your friend and explain what's going on. That he likes you, and that you've liked him for a while; it has nothing to do with her liking him.

Th fact of the matter is - he chose you. However much she may have liked him, it never would have worked out any place other than her head because he's just not into her the way she is with him.

Being with this guy could effect your friendship - but do you really want a friend who can't let something like this go? You haven't done anything wrong. It's not like you stole him from her. It's not like you went and sought out him; he sought out you - and she can't blame you for liking him; I mean, honestly - that's the one thing she should be able to understand quite easily.

She seems a little immature. I mean, It's understandable to be upset when the guy you like likes someone else - but if she's willing to ruin your friendship over this in the long run (i'm not talking things being a little weird between you two for a while - but her never talking to you again) is she really the kind of friend you want?

The only thing you've done wrong is kept your mouth shut thus far; trying to protect her feelings.

[3boys4me]

Alls fair and love and war. He is fair game. He likes you you like him. I mean I'm sorry buts that's too bad for her. I would be honest w her as soon as possible cause if you two start sneakin around and stuff and she finds out before you tell her then she's prob gonna be super pissed. for me personally this all would depend on how close my friend and I were, how long she's liked him, how much I liked the boy, etc. I wouldn't want to jeopardize a really close friendship for a guy I only sorta liked, ya know?

[Ichron]

Weigh your consequences.

Think of what could happen if you date this guy. Would you lose your friend? Which would make you happier - being with him, or her friendship? If she was a true friend, she would respect your feelings for this guy and would not let it come between you. You sound like you are very sensitive and respectful for her feelings, she should be the same to you.

Personally, I believe you have to let her know somehow, otherwise you're denying your feelings for him, or worse, going behind her back to be with him when you know she likes him.

[kambo_trick3y]

This is essentially what you should do with your friend to settle your differences.

https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=I5n28hpMFBE

[kambo_trick3y]

Okay that was mean.

And f***ing hilarious.

But being serious, you have to understand (and ESPECIALLY your friend) that it's not up to either of you as to who he decides to date. He's not some confused pre-pubescent high school drama boy, he's a conscious adult making a conscious decision.

It's his choice. However, might I recommend something? He HAS to know about her feelings, HAS to, or else she'll think you stole him from her. She has to KNOW he picked YOU over her.

[artfullyliving]

Let them bloody well get on with it and detach yourself from the situation. Its your life. You can't control them.

[beer3]

Just go for him, both of you like each other. Try and tell your friend before you too date.