What should I do if my friend and I like the same guy?

Question

I've known my best friend since we were kids and we've always had each other's backs. She recently told me she's in love with a guy and I'm so excited for her. But the thing is, I'm in love with the same guy. He confessed to me right before the pandemic started but I respectfully kept quiet. I've tried to move on but honestly, it still hurts a little. We haven't seen him since March and now I know I'll be seeing him again soon and it's making me conflicted. Should I tell my friend, even though I'm afraid he'll feel betrayed for not telling him sooner? Should I tell him that I like him even though I know I might hurt him? I'm just looking for some advice and moral support. Are there others in a similar situation?

777GgG · Accepted Answer

I mean. Is even an option for either of you to be with him? Like it's sounds like your best friend is a guy. If the guy guy both "love' is straight then your best friend isn't even on the radar. And the opposite of he's gay. Assume he's bi, who says this guy has feelings for either of you.

Tell your best friend that you're also interested and go from there. When I was younger my best friend and I usually shared crushes but we'd promise it would be just that, a crush. I hind sight I wish it hadn't been. If we were both crushing on a guy and he was interested in one not the other than pursuit should've been an option. Adult me would've gladly gotten over a crush if it meant my best friend was happy!

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

Ask your friend to go with you to meet the guy and tell him he has to choose. Then let the chips fall where they may. He may not choose either of you because neither of you meet his standards.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You could be honest w your friend. But even then des this dude even like either one of you? Maybe he doesn’t. W that said it’s up to him to pick which one of you he likes. So you could leave it as an open situation, that both of you can try to be w him but ultimately it’s up to him who he wants to date. Maybe he won’t even want to date either one of you. If he knows he can get both of you he may just use both of you. I probably try for a threesome if I knew that two girls liked me at once. Assuming they’re both cute enough that I’d sleep w them.

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

He confessed in 2019 and now it's 2025 and you're not together but you feel like you still like him? If it's taking this long, one of you is not that committed to making this work.

If that one is you then you should just step aside and let them be together if it's him then he won't be with you anyway so you might as well also let them be together.

You have to ask yourself if the relationship is really what you both wanted or if you're just feeling this way now because your friend is in love with him.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic love triangle—romcom material right there! 🎬🌟 My aim is to sprinkle some wisdom here on Girls Ask Guys. Handling feelings when everyone has heart eyes for the same person can feel like navigating a minefield. Honesty is the best policy but in a way that supports your friendship. Maybe it's time for a heart-to-heart with your friend. Remember, friendship is more valuable than a fleeting crush. If the dude feels betrayed, muster up courage and explain. Love is wild, but so are friendships, so keep that bond strong! 💕💪

laraWM · Answer

In my opinion it's always better to tell the truth, so I think I would probably tell them how I feel

AviatorTom · Answer

Honesty is always best. Tell your friend about your feelings with the guy. As friends, you'll work out something that you both can live with.

hahahmm · Answer

so what was your plan? Ignore the guy's feelings for you forever? You made your choice by basically telling/showing the guy he wasn't good enough for you and you kept looking for other dudes. Now that your friend wants him your ego is telling you to keep her from having him. Your friend will probably ignore whatever you tell her about him now cause only an idiot would believe that you want the guy yet you never took any action or even mentioned it for all these years.

Get ready to see her dating him.

ephedrine · Answer

Honestly, this is a total mess. You’ve known your friend forever, and now you're in a position where one of you is going to get hurt no matter what. If you tell her, it might feel like betrayal, but if you don’t, it’s still gonna eat you up inside. Telling him will probably just complicate things, especially if he’s already confessed to you and you’re still in the picture. Sometimes, it’s better to let go and focus on the friendship, no matter how hard it is.

david · Answer

Dude, this isn't a love triangle, it's just unnecessary drama potential. The guy has already opened up to you, but you haven't done anything. Now you're wondering whether to come clean to your friend or to him? Don't stress yourself out. If your feelings are still intense, be honest with yourself but don't make a big deal out of it. If your friendship is important, talk to him first. But remember, neither of you can own someone. The guy will be with whoever he wants, that's life.

aceleon · Answer

Go have a 3 some, no i'm serious, no sexual joke.

Why not save everyone the unnecessary drama? İ doubt the guy will not be okay with it (if he isn't then it probably means he is not completely straight) just talk with her friend and go get the lucky bastard together.

HungTexan · Answer

If a relationship is meant to be it will happen, and it shouldn’t screw up your friendship even though you both think you’re in love with the same guy. The only other option is just tell him you want a 3-way relationship where he gets to have sex with both of you.

FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa · Answer

Umm... clarification please?

He told you that he was in love with you before the pandemic? Is that what you mean when you say he "confessed"?

And then you two never became an official couple for some reason?

And now your friend is dating this guy, or hoping to date him? And she has no idea that you and this guy have a history?

LeatherDame · Answer

Work it out with your friend, my suggestion if you want to keep the friendship is that both of you don’t go for this guy if it’s going to cause a rift.

Also the pandemic was almost 5 years ago so it’s not like this was recent…

Valdemort · Answer

Talk to your friend about it. If you value the friendship, I'd choose that over dating someone tbh. If you're best friends, I think it should be something you can be open about...

eniqma · Answer

Girl, this situation sucks. I get that you don’t want to hurt anyone, but this feels like it could cause serious drama. You doowe it to your friend to be honest, even if it feels awkward. Keeping this to yourself might just make things worse in the long run. As for him, he probably already knows how you feel if he likes her, respect that. It’s painful, but you need to let this one go and protect your friendship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Depends. If you and the guy both like each other very much, you both need to tell your friend this so she’ll back off

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Try having a threesome with the guy. Ask your friend about it first and see if she'd be down.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If I were in a situation where a friend and I both liked the same girl, I'd defer to him. There are millions of potential partners, but few true friends.

kaucky1 · Answer

Get along if the guy really has more than one Weiner on his own vessal if anyone else tries to do this was bolted on glued I'd derma depict new one or zelideo it anywhere on vessal use chi

byrdman89 · Answer

Have a threesome! JK kind of LOL seriously though as long as no one's married just be honest and everything will work out fine

Vickie06 · Answer

Got do what they do on discovery channel in a combat.

Anonymous · Answer

Compete for him and let it ruin your friendship, then down the line whoever got him will get dumped or cheated on, so it won’t have even been worth it. That’s what you should do

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

He doesn't even like or talk to you so why even bring this up? Lol

In_Trance · Answer

I feel like this is something that happens to someone in high school or college not somebody your age

Anonymous · Answer

Well what’s so special about this person both of u like them

TwinkleStars03 · Answer

Respectfully and fairly talk about who gets the guy

Worldclasslibtard · Answer

Let her know you have the same taste in guys

erico2025 · Answer

Don’t be an obstacle to your friend. Suppress your affection and let go.

Flower7 · Answer

He confessed to you what?

exitseven · Answer

Throw for him. Best 2 out of three

BigTex53 · Answer

Have you considered a MFF threesome?

dougeats · Answer

Why not share him?

princeofromance · Answer

Get a new friend.

nawtee_me · Answer

What to do? Maybe a threesome….

Godihateyou · Answer

Have a threesome and let him decide

Jennz6 · Answer

3-Some maybe

Anonymous · Answer

Play rock-paper-scissors

jahaims · Answer

That's not love

Reijen · Answer

Mortal kombat.

What should I do if my friend and I like the same guy?

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My friend and I like the same guy?

What should I do if my friend and I like the same guy?

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My friend and I like the same guy?

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