Girlfriend stole money from me for drugs for her and her friend

[Anonymous]

I'm an adult age 18. My girlfriend and her best friend stole a dollar from me and nine dollars from my friend so she could illegally buy a dangerous drug and lied to me about getting rid of it and stealing my money. It isn't very much but I think she might get worse, it offends me they'd treat my friend that way and I'm worried she's addicted. It shocked me because I was okay with her doing it even though I don't like it when she does.

Her friend may have convinced her when they were both high to steal from us so stupidly and lie about their excessive drug abuse. I just hope I'm not being used but she's loving when she's not high. I buy her cigarettes a lot also so she could be using her.

How should I handle this?

[rosamo78]

Your in a difficult situation, but at the end of the day your girlfriend is her own person, I was brought up by a single mom never to steal anyone's money,if there is $1,-$20 on the table, on top of the desk etc, you leave it there,now you also treat people the way you want to be treated, obviously you feel very disrespected with every right, which a very serious conversation has to happen, you need to be honest, and why put yourself in the position of being with someone who is loving only when they are not high? And you can't even trust them and of course its bugging you, also you don't need to be suppoting anyone's habit don't buy her anymore ciggarettates.sorry to tell you but a try flag for an addict is stealing.make sure when you talk

To her you tell her exactly how you feel and how your friend feels.

[Stacyzee]

Your girlfriend is an addict.

Therefore the drugs come first.

You can logically explain to her the things that she is doing that isn't right,

But once you an addict you do all sorts of things to get the drugs of your choice.

Expect this more from her.

If she isn't considering rehab you are right, things will only worsen.

You need to question yourself,

Do you want to stick around for her addiction to progress?

Because clearly, she doesn't want help.

She is going to go down a path of destruction.

[Asker]

This hurts but it's true. I'm not sure if I want help either (I'm addicted to the same substance, but I love her over it) but I want to at least tone down the intake before it kills us. She told me to quit the drug we are hooked on because I was scaring her but she thinks she can handle it herself getting high from it everyday.

[Stacyzee]

You have to be willing to stop has well. Seek help together. If you tell her her addiction is getting out of control, she will not listen to you because in her mind you are being hypocritical. You can love someone, but you cannot love them (literally) to DEATH. Get help. before it is too late. Addicts cannot tone down an intake, they have to stop completely. Just a little bit of the substance is enough to want them to go overboard. The only way she can get better...is if she wants it.

[Stacyzee]

Also, giving her money to get the substance isn't helping her. It is killing her. You both are dying slowly.

[Asker]

Aren't we all slowly dying anyway? I mean if this life takes off ten years from my maximum potential life span then I'm okay with it.

[Stacyzee]

Some people live until 100. You have a lot of life left in you.

And being an addict can take off more than ten years. You could be dead at 40. And even with judgment impaired from drugs you can overdose (depending on what you are abusing). You could be dead in your 20's-30's. Who knows? Why speed up the process by far? Looking at it that way, is being ignorant to the facts.

[Anonymous]

I have seen first hand what drugs do to people. You should get out of this while you still can. It is only going to get worse. Don't feel bad about abandoning her, she will not get help until she is ready. The stealing is a sign she is addicted not that her friend convinced her. If she wasn't addicted she would tell her friend no. Tell her that when she is ready to turn things around you will be there for her but until then you can't do this anymore. This is a huge red flag like the first girl said.

[Asker]

I'm addicted too but trying to stop. I think she has to make the choice to try stopping with me. But honestly I want her around until somebody better comes along. To fill the hole I'd have without drugs, love and sex.

[Opinion Owner]

That is a bad cycle. You two will feed off each other and keep each other addicted. You need to get her out of your life and work on getting off the drugs. Only you and you alone can fill the hole, drugs will not fill it, love will not fill it and sex will not fill it and until you realize that it will never ever be filled and you will be stuck in a bad cycle. I lost so many friends to drugs, some have died others are homeless and stealing and/or prostituting themselves. Please save yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you. I'll try. I meant to thumb up your answer. Sorry :/

[Opinion Owner]

No worries. I haven't been through it myself but I have had close friends who did and I saw it with my own eyes so it always pains me to see anyone even a total stranger go through it. I wish you the best of luck.

[Asker]

Where should I look for assistance?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know. Try to google it and look for resources also try to find support groups online, I am sure they don't cost money. Also try and addicts anonymous meetings in your area.

[TheUglyOne]

Give her an ultimatum. She needs to lay off the drugs, or you. Trust me, you do not want to get caught up in this. I've heard to many cases where the Boyfriend or Girlfriend were innocent victims of drug dealer violence. Offer to help her, if she truly goes for help. Otherwise, no matter how much you confront her, she will only keep getting worse.

[Asker]

I'm already involved and I'm not innocent. I'm addicted too, trying to stop but she doesn't want to. So offer to help her but tell her it'll be me or this poison.

[TheUglyOne]

Ouch. Wish you luck on your healing. But here's a chance for both of you to quit together.

[Asker]

I'll try. Thank you, I've wanted help a long time but I feel I almost can't live without this stuff. I've only gone twelve hours without it today and it's going to be the first thing I do when I get home whether I want it to be or not. I know the right thing to do but I feel too weak alone and think I'll probably just stay with her and deal with abuse because it makes me feel needed or liked by someone in society. Hope I can man up.

[cm009x]

well talk to her and say I'm worried about you and something has to change

you and to say something in order to ease your mind and for her safety

[Anonymous]

Confront her head on about this.That is utterly a red flag. You need to reconsider this relationship. That is not something that should go on in a "healthy relationship." Big trouble there.

[Asker]

I agree you have a good answer. I'm just afraid because I'm the only one she gets money from. I don't know what she'd do without me.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. That's her problem though. It sounds like you have taken on her problems which should not be happening. I'm not going to tell you what to do. But I will say that you will get dragged down with her and her problems. People like her are never done with betrayal like that. It's only the beginning.