Why would he spread rumors that I had sex with him?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with my boyfriend (of 5 months) a couple of weeks ago. When I did it, he told me that I would deeply regret it. At the time, I just kind of brushed it off and thought he was just upset at the whole situation.

At school, I had a really good reputation. Good grades, modest, and pure.

Anyways, he started a rumor that I had sex with him and that my whole "modest" thing was just for show. Anyways, word got around, and my parents even herd. Its so embarrassing.

He called me yesterday, and he said that he would keep making things worse if I didn't take him back.

I don't want to take him back, but I also don't want my situation to get worse. How do I end this?

Updates

+1 y

I told the principal today.This guy seriously hates my guts now.And I end up feeling guilty.How did that happen? I feel like a snitch. He told me that he was just kidding (about the whole "she slept with me" thing) after I told. Life is frus

Updates

+1 y

Life is frustrating... is what I meant to say.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Alright, you are dealing with a major-league imbecile. I pity you for having to go through such a shameful experience.

Here's what you're going to do:

You start off by telling your parents that this boy is threatening you. You never slept with him so you have nothing to be ashamed of. You kept your dignity even when this boy did not. An otherwise modest girl who is an excellent student will have the trust of her parents. Tell them all the details and the harassment you are feeling at school, before it affects your grades and social life.

Once you've told them, march yourself and your parents to the school tomorrow and inform the principal. Malicious rumors have no place in any setting, much less a school where someone destroying your reputation can be horrific.

Now, before you shut off your computer, promise me you'll do all of the above and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER WILL YOU EVER TALK TO THIS BOY AGAIN. PERIOD.

Promise me that right now.

[Asker]

Hhmmm. sounds difficult.

Do I have to get the school involoved?

If that's the only way, ill do it.

I think I would feel bad, though.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Listen up and listen up well. If this boy isn't taught a lesson early on in life that what he's doing is no way to treat a girl (or any person for that matter) he will continue to abuse other people much weaker than yourself. Thankfully, you have a healthy sense of self-worth and good parents. You must get the school involved. He needs to feel the sting of what it is like to drag someone's name through the mud. You are doing it for the other girls as much as for yourself. Trust me on this one.

[Asker]

Thats true, I don't want anyone else to have to go through this.

I'll do it.

Thanks for your help! :)

Just out of curiosity, though.... how do you think the principal will be able to help?

Isnt it all said and done?

thanks again!

[TheDigitalSaint]

The principal's job is to ensure that the school functions in a manner in which the students (including you) can focus on learning. You can not be focused if you are hounded by accusations of being whore, slut or anything to that effect. The job of administrator is to put an end to such harassment. You need to tell him that this boy threatened to smear your name if you didn't get back with him and that you fear for your physical and emotionally well-being.

[TheDigitalSaint]

When you tell him this, he'll know that you don't just drag two parents in for a conference just for fun of it. You have a legitimate concern and you are addressing it in an adult-like manner, even if you are a minor. That's maturity. Most schools have an anti-harassment policy and this boy is no doubt violating it. There will be repercussions if he doesn't knock it off. If he does it again, you just keep on coming back and talk to the administrators and teachers.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Once this boy learns that the pain of dragging your name through the mud is greater than the pleasure of spreading rumors or making threats to get back together with you, he'll realize he's fighting a losing battle. Young lady, good for you for respecting yourself enough not to put up with his antics! Be a good girl and always demand that men treat you with respect! Don't be saddened by his behavior, as there are good boys out there looking for you as well. Stay strong. :)

[Ravrcc]

I fully agree with "TheDigitalSaint". He could not be more right than that. Also, you should realize that your ex is basically blackmailing you in a way. You cannot threaten someone to date you, this is not how a relationship is built. That guy is dangerous, he should be taught a lesson at the earliest, and even this lesson won't really be enough I believe. But what you can do is whatever TheDigitalSaint said.

[Asker]

Thats good enough reason for me!

Thanks for all your help!

I'll talk to him tomorrow.

[TheDigitalSaint]

You're welcome. When you get the chance, please consider my post as a "best answer" if possible. It really means a lot to me. Good luck and keep your chin high. ;)

[circachamptyler]

YAH what he said and if that doesn't work show him a pic of me and say I'll beat him up lol!.

But yah that is disgusting that he would go soo low after you've been with him for 5 months this is what I mean when I tell girls not to go after guys unless they really know the guy this is terrible that a guy would spread rumors like that also do not feel bad for the guy he obv didn't feel bad for you I know you are a nice girl and all but you gotta do it for your own good and maybe when he learns from what he has done hell smarten up think about it. Not only are you helping you your helping a bunch of other girls that might go through the same thing as you are right now and your helping the girls that read this aswell.

[conversuniverse]

SNITCH man what a snitch big deal he said you blew him off who cares you probably did anyways now look you got the poor guy in big trouble quit acting like the victom,

[ILoveCefalu]

Are you saying that the guy is the victim?