I hate my step sister

[helpmealitttle]

Please excuse me for saying, but I really hate my younger step sister. She has always had it easier than me and her mum was a total bitch to me when I was younger. Now my step sister is engaged and even skinnier than before (always looked better than me) and I'm in a new relationship with a guy that says he doesn't want to get married for at least another 10 years, which will make me 37,and trying really hard to lose the weight I've gained recently.

I have struggled with everything in life and nothing came easy, but my step sister is so popular and attractive and got the dream romantic proposal and I'm getting really depressed. She even decided to change her last name to the same as mine and my dad's. I don't know why she did cos she still has contact with her own dad. It hurt me deeply when she told me.Her life is continuing to get better and mine is still a struggle. I deserve to have an easier life. I'm a lot nicer than her and respect others, but she doesn't. I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking about her and how much better she's got it. What should I do to get it out of my head?

[madhatters4]

You need to embrace her. If she is kind to you, you could learn a lot from her.

It seems fairly clear that you have some self-esteem issues and you assume that her high self esteem some how reflects negatively on you but the two are entirely unrelated. All the things that you are jealous of and hate her for are not her fault. It isn't her fault she's had it "easier" than you, it's not her fault that she is popular, it isn't her fault that she skinny, pretty, etc.

But it is YOUR fault if you allow superficial things like this shape your outlook on her or any person rather then just try to be the best you you can be. Be honored that she would want to take your and your dad's last name because that means regardless of how you feel she identifies herself with you and your family and really it's a sign that she wants to be accepted into your family. Try to learn to appreciate her, be friends with her and maybe emulate some of her good qualities (also by being a friend to her you may see things in her outlook on life that you can apply to your own to make your life easier). You can never be someone else but there are traits about them you can learn from and try to practice yourself.

[helpmealitttle]

Thanks but she does not want to be a friend. She doesn't care in the slightest about what I do or think.

She already has a family, with her dad's surname, so there is no need to take mine.She has been a part of the family for many many years, over 10 years, so why bother doing it now? Unless it's to get higher rank among her peers because my dad has a well established business and her mum is on the local council. She doesn't have good qualities, unless I want to learn how to be a snob or tart.

[madhatters4]

just appreciate who you are. Who cares her motivations for doing things. does it really affect you? Concern yourself with improving yourself and realize tht every moment you spend hating someone else is another moment you take away from caring about yourself. Do things like find a guy who wants the kind of relationship you want (ex. oen who doesn't need tens years to get married), work on your personal, professional life and trust that taking care of yourself and working hard will triumph

[HandsomeRaj]

1. You are leading your life by looking at her's in comparision to yours - the 1st and only mistake :D

2. It's time you started seeing yourself as a separate entity rather than always comparing situations with her

3. I'm sure just as you didn't want her for a step sis, she may also not have expected or wanted that.

4. Learn to leave the past where it is and concentrate on the present & future (digging graves only will turn up corpses & bones)

5. I know you'd say easier said than done but here I don't see any mention of 'her trying to do anything purposefully to you'; you are consumed by these feelings since you felt vindicated since a younger age - not your fault though :) but please try to do away with the way you are feeling and grow out of this shell which will otherwise consume you in the future.

6. Concentrate on your health, career, future etc rather than comparing it with her or anyone else :)

[HandsomeRaj]

Thank you so much for the BA :) - appreciate it

Hope you see the light and head towards a better life for yourself :) all of us face situations in life - some more, some less. This is urs - deal with it the correct way - make it productive for yourself and make yourself proud :) good luck

[honeyltsme]

It is mean to be jealous, and it (plus general unhappiness) shows in people's micro-expressions and body language. Such negative energy is seen by potential mates a mile away (millions of years of evolution) - people want to find a happy mate, since happiness is shown to be by choice.

I can assure you that there is an obese girl and a girl whose face was scarred in a fire, and a girl who lost her hair to chemo, and a girl who's missing a leg - and these girls are happier and less jealous than you.

Your sister isn't spending any mental cycles on thinking about some princess (who surely exists) who has it even better and easier than her.

What you need is to focus your energy where it belongs - on making your life better, and the place to start is inside yourself, by completely relaxing and letting go of everything that is holding you back. Oh and that dude - "doesn't want to get married for at least another 10 years" is code for "does not want to get married to you in any foreseeable future". I would not be surprised if after 10 years he suddenly marries some 21 year old. If there's no engagement after a couple of years together, I would move on because the guy is not a marriage minded guy.

[Tommy321]

This is a horrible bout of jealousy you have, it is a really unhealthy out look to have on life. You are each you own people who make your own luck.

Be grateful for what you have - you have a partner and your health, there are people out there that will never have a relationship due to health problem and you a whining that your step sister is skinnier than you and is getting married.

I don't mean to be nasty but maybe you should take a good look at yourself and learn to be grateful, see if you can start to love your step sister and be there for each other instead of resenting her.

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it." - Roald Dahl

[Anonymous]

You're insanely jealous, and don't sound like a nice person at all. I certainly don't see how you *deserve* a better or easier life.

You envy her youth, her weight, her size, her attractiveness, her engaged status, her popularity and you resented the fact that she took your family name (no doubt because she feels that it is her family now, regardless of her birth fathers status and location)

Envy is a horrible trait.

All I can tell you is that life is not fair - no one deserves a better/easier life just because of circumstances.

If life was fair, your step-sister would have a better sister. One who was proud of her, and loved her, and wanted nothing but the best for her.

But life isn't fair. And she wound up with you.

[helpmealitttle]

I have loved her for many years and been there for her but she has shown me no respect over the years. You're an a**hole for not understanding my situation.

[helpmealitttle]

This guy is being nasty to me

[Opinion Owner]

You just can't handle the truth.

[helpmealitttle]

Hey, why don't you troll someone elses wall, anonymous

[Lommelun]

He is right though. Although he could have dropped the anon.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks dude, but she's not interested in what's right.

[KingsOfleon88]

I think you are so consumed by your hatred for your sister that it is eating away at the core of your very soul. You might want to release all that anger you have built up inside in a healthy and constructive manner so that you can move on with your own life.

[theblondeguy]

dont think about her lose your weight make yourself hot and phase her out of your life don't get depressed you will get fat and no one wants to f*** a fat chick plus you'll die really early from heart disease or some sh*t

basically get on with your own life and stay fit and healthy you'll feel great look great and might just get a guy to marry you =D

[Racez]

Simply support her as much as you can.

Even if she's your half sister, she's still your sister. Give her appreciation.

Don't let jealousy get best between you and her.

Beauty will fade, and so you must treasure the close bond that you two share.

[helpmealitttle]

Thanks, but she is my step sister, not half, and we don't share any bond at all. I tried but she decided that she didn't want to respect or associate with me so I gave up.

[PhilaPenn]

Don't hate! Stop being jealous. Use that energy to improve yourself rather than being envious of her. There is nothing worse than girl hating other girls.

[Anonymous]

hate is a bad thing. Try to move beyond it