Questions: Family & Friends

This is my wife's account but she told me to post to get some feedback. She is convinced she is right. I'm convinced I am.

Neither me or my wife wanted a dog but our oldest son started begging for awhile and her and I made a decision that we would give it a trial run. We had a family member with a litter of pups and she gave us one. The dog is now almost 3. From the beginning she has had behavioral issues. She whines excessively (literally 24/7) but that has gotten better. For the first year she refused to use the bathroom outside at all. It was like she was afraid of grass and dirt. She would just start whining and shaking like a leaf whenever she was brought outside and then would shit indoors the second you brought her in. But again, that has gotten better though she still has accidents at random (which pisses the wife off because sometimes it's right after she's been outside for over a half hour already). She's a super anxious dog as well and she panics if you aren't touching her constantly. Even if she is in her kennel (not locked or anything) she will be staring at you the whole time and either whining or shaking. Every time you get up to move she is immediately chasing after you and this leads to no time alone at all. And to top it off, our son hates the dog. This stems from this was supposed to be his dog but the dog took to me and no one else and won't even hang out with our son. She wants nothing to do with him and he's tired of her behaviors. I've been training her since we got her and she is just now starting to act even remotely trained and will only do things for treats. My wife and son want to re-home the dog because they say that we don't have the resources and it's "negligent" to have her here. They say this because the dog won't even eat unless I am standing by her food dish with her. Wife says that I'm enabling bad behaviors by "allowing" her anxiety to continue (I won't medicate her due to other health issues). I say she's family and she stays.