Do you think the older siblings must help raise the younger siblings?

[Alwayreckles93]

My oldest sister 38 makes her 17 year old teenage kid help her take care of her 3 year old child. I don't think it's fair at all for my nephew to missed out on his life only because my sister forced him to watch his younger sister. My nephew was telling me how he plans on attending college outside of state I don't blame him. My sister claims that she doesn't want him to that she will missed my nephew. Yet my sister went on telling me that it would be nice if he would help a lot more. I was completely honest with my sister I told her that she should get her tubes tight and why have more kids then What she can barely handle. We live at a different state I told my nephew he is welcome if he decides to attend college from where I live. My sister she is selfish goes out with her friends living my nephew with the parental responsibility. I myself grow up taking care of my younger siblings I know the feeling. I don't think a child should be watching after another child. At first I thought it was normal that oldest child watch after the younger ones until I got older I've realized that isn't normal some parents are just way to lazy.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

I was firstborn, my parents divorced when I was very young putting strain on me to take care of my crying little sister, and there's a responsibility to it but I never want to take it back. It is one of the greatest things that shaped me as a person.

It's one of the few good sides I have in spite of my all my flaws is that motivation to take care of my younger sibling, and even work twice as hard to go through school, win scholarship, take care of her financially, etc. I attribute all my best sides to that experience and my worst sides to not having anyone I felt responsible over besides her.

I don't find it interesting to question what is fair in life. I like the question of what makes us grow in life. Hardships define the greatest of individuals (hardships are usually unfair), and I find a consistent pattern in people that the absence of hardship yields the most unpleasant people with the most mediocre, the most mainstream, cliche, boring, superficial, weak lives.

[BungusHighFivePizza]

If you open up any history book and look at people who accomplished great things, none of them had lives which were reasonably fair, or easy. They had it tough, had things done to them so unfair that soft people today might want to organize some protest the moment they realize a fraction of their hardships. So I think it is the wrong mindset to seek the fairest, gentlest lives for future generations, since history suggests that's a path towards mediocrity, stupidity, complacency, softness.

[NYCQuestions1976]

It's good practice in parenting responsibility having teenagers watch their younger siblings. They can learn valuable lessons for when they start having their own kids when they get older. I got excellent experience watching my cousins' kids when they were little and I was in my early 20s. However they shouldn't be "forced" to watch their younger siblings/relatives.

[Alwayreckles93]

How old were the kids at that time?
Did you feel like you missed a lot?

[NYCQuestions1976]

They were young, from toddlers to grade school age. I didn't miss out on anything. I was never forced to watch my cousins. I always enjoyed watching them.

[Alwayreckles93]

Were you like the cool favorite uncle?

[NYCQuestions1976]

Well I'm their cousin, but yeah, pretty much the same idea. 👍

[Alwayreckles93]

Oh okay I apologize for the misunderstanding. Hey you do seem like a cool guy.

[Agape93]

Nope. Raising a kid is the parents responsibility. If you can't raise the kid on your own, don't have kids.

[Alwayreckles93]

Exactly 💯 Did your parents forced you to watch after your siblings?

[Agape93]

Nope. Far as I'm aware, I don't have any.

[midnightmoon05]

Older child should always help out. It’s the moms job to teach all her children to help in all ways.

[Alwayreckles93]

Maybe birth control is a good option.

[midnightmoon05]

I understand where you are coming from. Those who are lazy and use people.

I am saying…moms should always teach their kids to help in the family and kids should always offer to help. That would make the family better.

I raised my little sister. We are 11 1/2 years. apart.
She just had her son. And I have no problem helping her. She also helped me with my two kids.
To me that’s what families are for.

I stayed in town for college and saved out of state tuition. I received an education and have a good job.

Hopefully it works out for your nephew.

[Alwayreckles93]

I love your answer. Sounds like you and your family are good people. Yes I agree you save a lot more money attending college in state. I have seen a lot in cases including my experience and in family where parents live their oldest kids and they go out a lot. Nothing wrong with wanting to have fun. But to an extent to make the oldest child play the parent role. Thank you for your answer best wishes.

[midnightmoon05]

Thank you for your kind words. Same to you and thanks for MHO

[Mansearching]

Its not a must. Its a should. Your sister has a right to go out and be happy. But shouldn't force him to babysit. If he's got plans then she should stay home. When he doesn't, then he should help his mom. Its very hard for a single parent. Ev1 should each other out. Its not just about the babysitting younger sibs. Its other stuff to. That's just part of it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Older siblings often get saddled with that responsibility and that makes some kids look for a reason to leave home as soon as possible. Very unfortunate!

[electromagnetic]

It’s not a must but it happens. I have two younger siblings and I didn’t exactly raise them but I did look after them quite a lot.

[virtue2332]

It depends how old because you don't want kids making decisions for kids when an able adult should raise thier kids but the older siblings should set the example and look out for thier younger siblings

[melanieeeB]

I think it's good to look after your younger siblings and help out the mom to a certain extent

[Littlejugs99]

Make no but families help each other buy its a two way street

[WhiteBoyChill]

If it’s her child, it’s her responsibility.

Time for her to stop going out with her friends.

[Adam1978]

Yes siblings help with the other siblings because they are family.

[NathanDavis]

Yes I did... family builds up each other

or, that's how we do it around here

[Heolurt]

Being the middle child and the unwanted one, my siblings didn't do shit for me and I certainly wasn't going to do the same but my older siblings did take care of my younger ones.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

It's not fair at all. If they asked to help, fine. But that's the parent's responsibility, not the child.

[loveslongnails]

No one should be FORCED to help raise a child, OR give birth to one!

[Bklynbadboy12]

I don't think they should be forced to but I know my older siblings help raise me

[Freyke]

That happens. It's kind of expected.

[fonduegirl]

Nope.

[EaterPeter]

Depends. Must, no.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Yes.