As an older sibling is it good to discipline younger siblings?

[Alwayreckles93]

I went of on one of my younger sisters this weekend she is 21 I had to get up at 2am to go pick her up because she was drunk and went all crazy wild messy around with guys. I was so enjoy and upset I grab the belt and hitt her really hard. I always say my house my rules. Now my sister pack her stuff and left to live with a friend. I took away her car keys and phone because I pay for it. I am probably going to get a lot of hate but honestly this younger generation is going downhill. I am 29 not 21.

[DaveJord]

See this one of those deals where you if you have to do what's best for your sister if you really want to help her. If you care about her, then obviously you know she is safest living with you. But you treat her like a child then she will resent you and it will destroy your relationship now and potentially into the future.

With that said it is your house and your rules and she should respect that. So you have to decide what's more important to you and if it is worth destroying your relationship over. I mean she is 21, so every 21 year old goes through phases and you have to allow them to figure it out for themselves with some guidance from you as a friend, not as her mother. If she is out there drunk you want her to feel safe calling you instead of calling the wrong person. So you can't chastise her or she will not call next time when honestly your exactly who she should feel safe calling the most, but now she doesn't. Say she gets raped next time or taken advantage of because she doesn't call you... would you feel guilty about that?

So you might of just made a bad situation worse, but again its your house your rules. I am sure there are a lot of other contributing factors to this story other than this one incident. You might of over reacted, but maybe not. Just do what best for your sister instead of what's easy for you. Yes there are limits so only know for certain what those are and if she has reached them. Some people you can never help no matter how hard you try... but she is your sister so have you done all that you can? I mean sisters, real flesh and blood are very few and limited in our lives, so cherish all that you have for as long as you can.

Call her and make this right and treat her like an adult. Apologize and let her know next time you will treat her better, but at the same time there needs to be boundaries and you two need to determine what those need to be and agree to honor them. But allow her to give input and buy in.

[Alwayreckles93]

Sir she needs to learn her lesson. My sister got arrested for destroying other people's property you know she crash onto the one else house. My mom let her get away with everything. I had to changed her diapers and look after her since she was an infant I was I was like 8 at that time. The police officer ask me if I wanted dto get an attorney I told the police officer no that my sister needs to learn her lesson and to take her locked up. If she's smart she will need get rape. She needs to learn that life isn't easy. I pay for her car phone and yes I do have the right to take it away. They have it easy and yet don't appreciate it. I know you don't agree with me but she needs too learn her lesson. One time when I was like 5 I ran across the street what did my grandmother give me a beating for running on the street I could end up hit by a car or dead and guess what later in knew better not to run in the street. Look at your ex wife for example I bet she was a spoiled brat and never got a beating in her life that's the result when parents don't raised their kids right. I am glad my grandmother went hard on me now I am a hard working woman I am not on the bars getting drunk or going clubbing because thanks to my grandmother she raised me right and now at almost 30 I thank her. Also if you notice these younger generation no longer respects older people Sir. If you realize I never disrespected you why because you are older and I must respect you. One time my sister called my grandmother a b**** I heard the shole commotion in the hall way what did I do I slap my sister in her face and I told her you will respect our grandmother, To never ever disrespect my grandmother ever again.

[Alwayreckles93]

Because I don't want my sister getting rape or in a worst situation. I did talk to her and she wouldn't listen she still went all would anyways.

[DaveJord]

Well like I said I was sure there was a lot more to this story then the initial post. Sometimes you got to cut your loses and move on. I am glad you tried to reach out one last time. In the end it will matter to you that you tried.

[nrm736]

To answer your core question: yes, it is okay to discipline your younger siblings, acutally it's more or less an obligation. The eldest child essentially operates as a third parent in many cases.

My younger siblings still tend to put me into similar situations like yours so I totally feel you and understand your frustration and yes, at times I also do think that this generation is going downhill quite rapidly.

Still, hitting her was out of line. I guess it already had been piling up inside you managing her shenanigans and this weekend pulled the trigger. It's a fresh story so both of you need some time and have to calm down to figure out what's next. Losing connection won't do any good for either of you. But maybe it can be a positive turning point in your relationship.

[BlueScorpio]

she's living under your roof, then yes it's fine. She's a young adult, she's old enough to live on her own if she wants to act up like that. I bet the living situation won't last long with the friend either cause they're not going to like having to pick her up at 2am in the morning. Plus no phone and car? Don't worry, when she's run out couches to crash on, she'll be back.

[BlueScorpio]

And honestly I would whoop her ass too. I do t care if she's 21 either, at that big age she should know better. The anti ass whooping crowd is the reason kids are constantly getting away with crap, it's gotten to the point where they are harassing and beating on elders! Bring back ass whooping!

[Subarugirl]

Okay…. That was assault…. It is not your place to discipline your sister period. Not to mention that’s she is an adult and you can’t just hit people because you feel like it. Your house, your rules, means you can kick her out not assault her….. It’s people like you that are the reason that this generation is going down hill.

[BlueScorpio]

I'm so sick of this generation labeling everything assault and abuse the second they can't get away with trashy behavior. A lot you need your ass whooped cause you lack discipline and self control, this is why kids these days don't have respect for parents or authority cause they get away with everything these days. Society has overly coddled a lot of you.

[Subarugirl]

@BlueScorpio do you know what’s it called when you hit another person?

[BlueScorpio]

An ass whooping? Do you know what it's call when kids don't want to listen to parents cause they know their parents are punks that won't do anything?

[BlueScorpio]

I give you hint: it's called being a coward! Not a parent but a coward who let's their kids run all over them cause their kids have figured out that their parents won't do shit. Sorry but time outs and taking away the phone don't work on every kid, some of them knuckle down in their rebellion. With all the crap we're seeing today that is proof that kids don't have any fear/respect of their parents authority.

You want to know why I never stole even though a lot of the kids I was hanging with where? Cause I knew if I got caught and my mom found out about it, I would get ass whooping! That and because I knew it was wrong to do anyway thanks to good parenting.

[Subarugirl]

@BlueScorpio that’s called battery…. Which is violent crime…. I can’t just hit someone because I don’t like what they said or did. Neuroscientists have done plenty of research on why hitting your child is a bad thing and is detrimental to cognitive and psychological development. You should look into it.

[Alwayreckles93]

Subarugirl You are wrong , My roof my rules. She has to respect and if she needs to learn her lesson. I told the officer to locked her up and take her if she's responsible for all the damaged she has done. And don't come up to me telling me that it is my job to pay her an attorney that is why this world is so messed up for spoiled young brats. I paid for her car and phone so yes I have every right to take it away from her. BlueScorpio is right I agree with everything she said no wonder why this younger generation is going nuts. And no It is not my job to pay for an attorney. My sister needs to learn her lesson.

[Alwayreckles93]

@BlueScorpio This girl has no idea. She wants to be the cool friend parent that later her kids will be using her as a punching bag all because she wouldn't discipline them. It's no wonder now the younger generation z are all a bunch of spoiled brats look what happened in Texas elementary school shooting I bet that kid never got an ass whooping. Girl back you and I we were kids all out parents had to do was give us the look and we knew bet better to get it together or it was going to go down once our parents take us home.

[Alwayreckles93]

@BlueScorpio Yes exactly you are 💯 correct no wonder why now a days so many younger people are in gangs doing drugs because parents want to be the friend and not the parent.

[Subarugirl]

That doesn’t give you the right to hit her…..

[Subarugirl]

Oh and sweetie, my kid is more well behaved than you are..

[Alwayreckles93]

Subarugirl Just watch when your kid gets older he will disrespect you and hit you he will probably will end up in gang it something.

[Subarugirl]

Why? Because I don’t beat my child? Research actually shows that if you do hit your kids the likely hood of them becoming violent is significantly increased…

[BlueScorpio]

I got spanking and I'm not violent, neither is my brother. What's the excuse for kids that didn't get spankings are still violent and hard headed?

[Alwayreckles93]

@BlueScorpio In 20 years her kid will be in prison. This is why children shouldn't have children. Her mindset is oh I'm my kids friend like no be the parent. This generation is going down hill.

[Alwayreckles93]

Subarugirl Kids having kids this why no one should be having children at a young age. You are the prime example. That's why people suggest having kids at 30's not while your still a child yourself.

[Subarugirl]

Oh I discipline my child, I just do it with out abusing him... His father wasn't spanked as a kid and now he's a doctor so... Then again it's not like I am going to take advice from a psychotic chic with no kids who thinks she's justified in hitting people with a belt because they did something she didn't like.
I own a house, a business and my son is in private school... Just because you are 4 years older and and ant to justify child abuse doesn't make you "smarter" it just makes you a sheep

[Alwayreckles93]

You aren't even with the father. You were whoring around just what every young woman does. It doesn't matter you f*** shit brat is spoiled. This why no one should be popping kids until the age of 30!

[Subarugirl]

My husband and I have been married since 2017 sweetie... but please... continue making your self look like an idiot... it totally makes you look like you know what you're talking about haha

[Alwayreckles93]

Subarugirl wow so you married a doctor so you destroyed a marriage? Still youvmarried way to young. You weren't mentally mature to have a kid. Maybe that kid needs a 40 year old mom that can actually take care of that poor kid.

[Subarugirl]

Your assumptions are hilarious girl LMAO, you really have no idea what you are talking about do you... .. He was was single and in school when we got married... who do you think financially supported our little family while he was in school... me.
You're one to talk about mental maturity... you know , seeing as you think that assaulting your adult sibling with a belt is okay...
My son does have mom who takes care of him, a mother who loves him, who takes him to sports practice, pays for his private school, plays with him, provides all of his necessities, reads to him every night, cuddles with him, cares for him when he's sick and takes him to every doctor's appointment... as a single childless woman... you think there is more that I should be doing? Like what? Attacking him with a belt? That's just sad, and honestly pathetic... Just because your parents did a shit job of raising you doesn't meant thats how every one elses family works... grow up

[Alwayreckles93]

You telling me to grow up lol your the one that got knocked up so young. I at least I wasn't a kid raising another kid. My sister did deserve to be locked up I even turn her into the police. Because she was drunk and crash onto someone else property. Your son has a good mom sure you wait didn't you had postpartum depression? Yeah exactly my point why woman should have kids at age 30 not when your young. If that kid was born to a 30 year old woman at that time he would had a better life. So you got knocked up no wonder why you had to get married. Yeah this why you should with at age 30 to have a kid. Woman in their 30's don't have prostpurtum depression because they're mentally mature enough to handel the responsibility to having a kid. You called yourself a good mom yeah right. That poor baby needed a mature 30 year old mother not a young mom. Yet you think you are a good mom please older parents are better parents.

[Subarugirl]

At least I’m married and own my own house and business…. and am capable of financially supporting my family… not spending all my time abusing my little sister..

[Subarugirl]

And at least I’m not ignorant enough to to believe that women in their 30s don’t get PPD…..

[Subarugirl]

Are you 21 or 29 because I can’t tell…. You act like a child….

[Makeushiver]

I don't think so. It can spoil future relationships with that person. Take to someone who you both acknowledge to be someone who is responsible for the welfare for both of you. If you think he will feel as if that is "tattling" then ask yourself the 3 questions that I think everyonn e should consider before any comment. Is it helpful? Is it kind? Is it compassionate?

[Alwayreckles93]

No my sister needs to learn her lesson she is locked up. I told the police officer to take her.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you need to substitute in place of her mother?

[Alwayreckles93]

My mom wasn't really that responsible.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you have taken over the role of parent, then "my house, my rules" is perfectly acceptable but, as you know, she is 21 and can leave whenever she wants to.

[BCRanger10]

If your parents aren't around or aren't involved or engaged, who else will?

[Alwayreckles93]

My mom choose men first before us. I had that huge parental responsibility on my shoulders.

[BCRanger10]

Right, so naturally that includes discipline. Hitting her with a belt was excessive, but taking away her phone and car was the right move.

[lorenzomichael]

Yes who the fuck do you think you are? (Mom) Your there older sibling why not try giving some advice instead of trying to disapline your sister WTF is up with that BS?

[Alwayreckles93]

If my mom didn't raised her right someone else had too.

[captain_voidwalker]

You did the right thing. There's nothing wrong with looking out for family even if they hate us for it.

[rip999]

Personally, I would of done the same thing. You did good.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Yeah she really shouldn’t be doing that. Have no worries. You did the right thing and she’ll thank you later

[Alex8736]

People don't know how good they have it till it's gone

[YoHoeRose]

Depends the situation with your parents

[MrTaboo]

As the older one, I spank my sister all the time.

[Alwayreckles93]

How old is your little sister?

[MrTaboo]

Now, 32

[boobliker]

I think it's our role in the family