I Have a Problem...

Before starting off I'd like to say that I'm sorry for any mistakes since English is my third language:). Now here we go...

I'm 14 years old, and ever since I turned 12, I have struggled immensely with my appearance and it has only gotten worse. I've always hated my body, it's always been too slim, not womanly. While all my friends are voluptuous I'm barely an A cup (my boobs seem bigger than A cups but B cup bras never fit properly) and I have small hips and a flat butt. My legs are too slim, my waist too small and my body goes straight down, not one curve, not one small feature that stands out. Boring. Ugly. Horrible.

Before you say no that cannot be true, I've heard it from others. Though some middle-aged women have pointed out my "excellent physique", they're not the audience I'd like to get approval from. Others, younger have pointed out my flat butt, praying mantis like body and the mosquito bites on my chest. I feel self conscious in a bikini, I have to mentally prepare myself when going shopping for clothes and I refuse to go bra shopping, downright refuse (I wear bralettes). Every comment about my body hurts, I cry nearly every day about it, I dread looking in the mirror, will absolutely not under any circumstances take photos of myself and I'm always unhappy. Though I act happy, though I smile and laugh, I'm hurting inside. Even in my happiest moments, there's a little piece of me that stays unhappy, a piece that is hidden by laughter and smiles. I've become so good at it that I can even convince myself that I'm happy, but I know that I am not.

Well ok my body is atrocious, but my face must be pretty? Right? Right? No. First comes my hair, It's curly and brown, in quite tight coils falling down my back. But it isn't what I want. How I dream of sleek, smooth hair, falling like a waterfall, but my hair doesn't resemble that. How I want tan skin while mine is pale, how I want thin eyebrows while mine are full and how I want blue green almond eyes while mine are hazel and big and round, like a fish. How I want soft face features while mine are sharp, like a knife cutting and destroying my happiness. How I want big full lips, while mine are full but accompanied by a small mouth. How I want this and that, but I have none of it. And my life will be accompanied by misery, until, hopefully, I can become what I am not.


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What Guys Said 6

  • No matter what u look like if u don't love urself from the inside out and think of nothing but hatefulness and negativity then everybody around u will treat u that exact same way and u wonder y u don't have people to be with but if u look at ur inside and love urself then everything else follows.. it matters how u want to be and not the things that are around you... but I have seen girls like u who turns out to be the most beautiful and attractive young lady that most men would dream about having... love urself, respect urself, and be u then everything else would be the way u want it to be... it's heartbreaking u would talk urself down like that

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  • We all mature at different rates.
    You seem to be a late bloomer. Remember, that you're young. Yes, others may be developing faster than you (which can also mean they will age faster than you) and you are developing slower (which can also mean that you will be one of those that seem younger in your 30, 40 and onward.)

    All I can say is, eat healthy. Your body needs food to develop, so make sure it has what it needs.

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  • Chill. You're only 14. Most 14-year olds from highschool (guys included) are sticks until later on. I don't recall a single highschool girl who was curvy enough to attract attention from my experience. Once you hit the later years, you'll be fine. Your situation is pretty normal.

    I mean, you're only a little older than a middleschooler
    lol

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  • You are more than your body.

    For instance, if you cut your hair are you 'less you'? Of course not.

    The real you is in your mind and heart. The flesh is just packaging.

    So, concentrate on having a smart mind and a kind heart. Those are the things that truly make a person beautiful.

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  • That's the same problem I have.

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  • First off remember you are not in competition with anyone else. In a field of flowers no one flower is more beautiful than the rest

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What Girls Said 3

  • I know some people are going to say 'toughen up. Who cares, yadada grow up'

    but I'm not going to because i've suffered with anorexia for 1 year, bulimia for 2 years, and i've been self harming for 5 years. I have body dysmorphic disorder and even at 95 pounds at 5'7 I still felt fat.

    I know what it is like to absolutely hate your body and face. To hold so much disgust for yourself.

    That disgust for your appearance will turn into disgust for yourself and yourself as a person if nothing changes. I developed severe anxiety and depression from my eating disorders. I attempted suicide twice by the age of 15.

    I understand what it is like to just absolutely fucking hate every fiber of your being, to obsess over it, to cry for hours and hours and hours about it. To have panic attacks every night because of how awful you look and how everyone else thinks of you. It's miserable. It truly is. The way you look reflects your mind, yet even 20 pounds underweight my thoughts were still racing and I was even more suicidal.

    I would dream of pretty tan smooth skin. Of skinny long legs, flat stomach, small wrists, long shiny hair, thin arms, etc. But you will never ever be satisfied while changing your outer appearance. The only way to ever be satisfied is if you change your thought process.

    Don't be a perfectionist. You don't have to look perfect. Hell, you don't even have to look good. Be safe hun

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  • English is my third language to , you see dont worry , im not gonna write a long paragraph tellling you its okay , but look i have curly hair too , i straighten my hair everyday , and at night i apply olive oil to my hair , so it doesn't get too damaged , an tick full eyebrows is a girls dream but if you realy dont like yours go to a salon and get them done , . And for your body you should try doing squats , and other but exercises , they really work i do it to , good luck babe 😘

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  • the same here

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