Despite my looks, I only recently lost my virginity (I'm 20), to my ex in the first relationship I ever had, which lasted about 6 months.
I wasn't always good-looking. In high school I was way overweight and very socially awkward. The lack of confidence this engendered stayed with me long after I lost the weight. But I am way more confident now, and am getting even more confident by the day. It's just taking time.
I'm not shy like I was in high school, but I am by no means the most outgoing person- I'm fairly quiet around new people of both genders; but once I open up (after about 5 minutes of conversation usually) most people like me and find me funny and quite interesting.
Having just broke up with my ex, I've started asking women out. I approached a girl I didn't know and got her number, something I would NEVER have been able to do a year ago. However, she rejected me before we got to go on a date. I don't know why and it's been bothering me (she was two heads taller than me; I hope that's not the reason because I find tall women very attractive).
Which brings me to this- most men's dating advice focuses on being the "alpha male"- this means being confident and showing "social value"- by definition, being outgoing and knowing what to do in any social situation. This is not in my natural personality. I am trying to be more outgoing. But until I really get there, how much do you think I can rely on good looks to help me be more successful with women?
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honestly, if your looks were a perfect 10, that would mean you have about 20% of your game covered.
you pinned it on alpha male and social prowess. how many fat ugly dudes have you seen with like 8's or 10's for girlfriends and still have more on the side.
social proof(she doesn't know you but knows everyone elses does)
and pre-approval(she sees you with other girls so it becomes more !socially acceptable! to flirt/date you) also count for a lot to.
also, women want to be talked to in a certain way. in a way that captivates them and makes them more in touch with their own feelings. if talking with you can make her in touch with her own feelings, she will automatically associate them with you.
I could go on for hours, but I will leave you with a tid bit that you can actually use right now. next time you are out, think of an interesting conversation you would like to have, something that would interest a woman like social drama or some stupid movie or something. on the first woman you approach get the conversation going but let her opinion run the convo. then with the next girl you meet start the same convo but maintain your frame on why your opinion is right just don't be an asshole about it. even if you have to pretend to disagree.
you will notice that when you maintain your frame and don't let her control the conversation she will grow more interest for you. if she knows she can control a conversation with you, than she will know that she can control you, and that can be a turn off for her.
ok that's all goodbye.
P.S. laughter is natures aphrodisiac.
I led most of the conversations we had before eventually getting shot down. I never agreed with her just for the sake of it or sucked up to her. I made her laugh.
Honestly, it seems the "alpha male" shit is not the cure-all some guys make it out to be.
What usually works is when I'm not looking for anything- i.e. the weekend after I became exclusive with my ex, I went out to a bar with just my roommate to have a good time, not to hook up. Four hot girls asked me to dance that night.
To elaborate- I believe that being "alpha" can get women interested in you. But I think you're attributing too much importance to it.
You suggest that I need to 1-up a woman so to speak to "prove" I'm alpha, rather than interacting like a normal person. That's not natural.
Are you referring to one effort or have you tried it repeatedly.
what I was trying to do is just give you one pointer to help your game. there are thousands of things you can do and there is no one thing that works on everyone. good looks are not a cure all, alpha male is not a cure all, frame control is not a cure all, but it all contributes and helps just keep practicing.
try looking into mystery method to to get more details.