You'd be surprised as to how many guys might me drooling at u in their minds.
people who want u shaved are thinking of having only sex with u. Period!!
u Lol ofc it's OK you can do anything u want
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Hi there!
Allow me to begin by saying:
The truth isn't black and white. It's gray.
You're right, there's too much pressure on women and men to conform to insane beauty standards.
That being said, it doesn't mean you shouldn't try to take care of yourself.
Not all men are into curvy women. Some men prefer women like you described yourself.
If you don't like that you can also change your body through exercise and through plastic surgery (I'd advise against it unless it's what you truly want).
Now here's where I disagree with the idea you described: Hygiene.
Arm pit hair is unhygienic if it's long and should be removed by both males and females if they want to be hygienic.
Men are naturally attracted to women with less hair on their bodies. It's a natural instinct not a social construct. Almost every culture on earth has a similar opinion on the matter. This means it's a natural instinct.
Of course that doesn't mean all men like that, there's a small minority which doesn't mind it either way.
The question I want to ask you is: Do you want to be controlled by an ideology? If you start doing the opposite of what men think of as the perfect woman; you will be under the control of the very thing you're trying to avoid.
Because your behavior got influenced by the difficult standards.
You win by being yourself while balancing with what people around the world believe is hygienic, beautiful, and attractive.
Don't let any ideology dictate everything you think and do. Be your own boss.
You can be as pretty as you'd like through working out or styling your hair or clothes or treatments... etc.
People don't realize how much better they'd look if they took care of themselves.
A 4/10 can become an 8/10 if he or she take care of themselves.
At the end of the day you are the biggest winner when you achieve the look you want and everyone has room for improvement.
I hope my long response didn't bore you and I wish you success and happiness in your life.
I mean if you’re doing it to because you want to feel pretty and good about yourself on a night out or a date, it’s fine. And I’m sure you're cuter than you think you are. It’s nothing wrong with if dressing up in make up or girly clothes to make you feel good. But it’s when a woman gets surgeries and goes to extreme lengths to look like something she’s not is what’s wrong. I think fashion is important though. It shows people that you care about yourself. Like if you come to the office in sweat pants to work it shows you that you don’t care about your job. I feel it’s the same thing with going on a date. But yes, I definitely agree with you on women are expected to meet some really high standards and it’s not fair for them at all. But I don’t think you should give up on stuff that makes you feel good for that. As long as you’re doing it for you it’s fine. And I’m pretty sure you’re a cute girl. Don’t be so negative about the way you look. And if a guy only wants woman for her big breast, then he’s not worth your time anyways.
I think breaking beauty expectations is a lot like breaking fashion rules, it forces us to consider changing the status quo.
at one point in history it was trendy for the upper crust to walk around with umbrellas even when it wasn't raining. the whole idea was to prevent their skin from tanning at all to be as pale as possible because in those days pale meant you were an elite and that you had servants do your work which explained why you never tanned.
now its the opposite. people go lie in their yard and listen to the radio for an hour or two in the hopes that they will look darker.
beauty expectations like fashion expectations change. and the only way they change is when people dare to step outside the boundaries.
there's nothing wrong with ignoring their expectations. However there's also nothing wrong with trying to meet them if thats what you want to do. What matters is what makes you happy. If you find yourself miserable flat ironing your hair every day. then stop. Let those natural curls out and fuck the haters. lol. however if you really enjoy make up tutorials and love the experimentation. then keep doing what makes you happy.
Idiotic guys in the commentsection think really it is easy to not follow society's expectations. If you really think it is easy, let your girlfriend to not shave and see what happens. She will get disgusting comments, looks, or maybe she even gets attacked. I am not joking. You may even get harrassed just because you did not shave. It is perfectly ok to prefere shaven women but let tf non shaven women alone instead of bodyshaming or harrasing women who ain't like in your preferences. If we have to accept and dont bodyshame manlets, bald, fat men, why can't we do the same to non shaven women. I really dont understand why idiotic people get offended just because some women dont shave
what? there have never been rules, u could always make urself ugly, or, non beautiful, no one is forcing anyone to be beautiful, its jus most girls choose to be and look attractive so they can get guys intrested in them, but go ahead and be non beautiful if you want, I've never cared about being good looking since about 10, and it never cause me any problems... no one says "man improve ur look, u look like shit"
i dunno where u girls are getting this idea society is forcing people to look beautiful, no one is forcing that.. its jus a lot of girls choose to look beautiful out of free will
There is no one who can force you to follow societal beauty norms in a free society. You do what you will. Unfortunately, those old chesnuts are there for a reason. They are collectively what a good majority has decided is beautiful and acceptable for ones appearance which is why they continue to persist as they do. They can change but it takes time and a large number of people coming on board to alter the course of what is beautiful. Example, being rail thin was huge in the 60s, and came back in the 90s, and now being curvy is in. Women went centuries without shaving a thing, and then to capitalize on the popularity of men's razors, razor companies women convinced women to shave and it has stuck. No matter how you feel about joining the herd or going your own way, find your confidence to do what you want and feel no need to defend your choices because they are your own.
I never wear makeup and have a wide flat butt.
I used to fret over the color of my hair (dyed it from red to blond) and hated the fact that my butt size did not match my shirt size. I would only take pics of my face and upper body because I thought my lower half ruined everything. I would fo anything I could to highlight my face so that guys would forgive my ass.
Nowadays, I’m like meh. Makeup, nope. I make sure I’m professional for work, but otherwise I wear stuff I don’t mind on a hike. I do shower and use deodorant and make my own perfumes, but I’m lax with shaving and am just enjoying living in my skin without worrying too much about how I look. In general, I feel different than I look anyway. My body is not exactly the perfect ambassador for my inner self. So I just accepted that and treat it as well as I can without worrying too much about what others think.
Then don't follow it. It's your life. You will have to seek people who are willing to accept you for it. For many men if not the majority, it is a turn-off on a variety of levels outside of looks alone. But hey, if you're okay with it, do your thing.
Just make sure you don't end up complaining that you're not getting things from people because of this. Like complain that men don't want to deal with you (anymore) just because of that. You have the right to your opinions and life-style and they have the right to their opinions, preferences and standards.
Sure but just don't whine about how people treat you. I don't give two ducks about a persons unconventional beauty choices. K just don't want to hear about it. YOU made a choice knowing full well that society isn't on the same page. Awesome, be an adult and accept all that comes with it. You want multi colored hair, than deal with the "I slept with a parrot in the navy, I think you might be my kid" comments. We don't live in an altruistic world. So be an adult, do you and shut up about it. No one cares. I don't care.
Sure. We are all free human beings and choosing what you do with your own body is one of your most basic rights. However, you should know that not many people will be a fan of it. This does not give them a right to judge you or mistreat you but you can’t blame them for not being attracted to you.
This is so difficult because you lose any which way you go.
If you conform to society then you lose your individuality, in which case you're not really you anymore so what's the point in living a life that isn't yours?
If you do not conform you will end up an outcast with no friends and no hope of love, in which case you will be lonely forever, and who wants to go through life alone?
We're doomed to be depressed because we can't be loved for who we are, and we can't be who we are if we are to be loved.
You do you booboo. At the end of the day, its about your own happiness and what makes you feel beautiful /comfortable about your own self. You don't need to follow anyone. Just be your own person. Thats what I always believe and still do my own thang.
I didn't even get into make up until my 20s, which is really just eyeliner. I didn't start learning more and using make up until my late 20s. But there was never a shame about it.
yes of course. its your body and your choice. dont care what others think of you.
yet, I do shave. and like having no body hair, to feel more skin, i dont do it for other people's opinions on me, i do it for myself. because i am more comfortable and i feel better this way
I agree with doing what you want and accepting the results of those decisions. Do I agree with the choice as a whole? Case by case
But I also don't care that much because it doesn't effect me. I'll only get annoyed by people who do so and whine
Make the choice, I do what I want for me, to help me feel like I look good. I am the one who has to look at myself the most. If society doesn't like how I look, they have the freedom to not look.
Just know that if someone decides they want to look and dress terrible, it will affect them.
Obviously, you can make a choice.
But if you look around and think "most people seem to like this the most. I'm not that and I refuse to be like that", then be prepared to fail a lot of expectations.
Personally I think I wouldn't care much, I think most women look good enough already. But realistically that depends on just how unattractive you are.
Common sense, okay I take as expectations.
But these beauty standards people childlishly put are rubbish. Prettiness is never done by only one method.
I even heard an Arabic historian saying that West world has a fundemental problem in dealing with social problems, which is picking or selecting the (one and only) method.
That applies in many social rules.. this may be one too.
It is the 'value / idea / concept' not the 'method / means'. Of course the concept could mean that certain things are to be excluded but also never narrows it to one and only certain method.
So, chuck these social beauty rules in the bin. And you'll see some people love those who are not going by those rules.
Real life says something different from their 'virtual 😒' world.
I’ll put it this way… there are some celebrities that aren’t what I would call “conventionally attractive” that I find more attractive than like one of those “10/10 hot, dime-piece insta-models” that are obviously edited and airbrushed, or have had plastic surgery to look the way they do (also some celebrities too… it sets a very bad precedent in my opinion)
But if someone can own who they are with confidence, still look reasonably good, but can also go out on a bad day looking like they just rolled out of bed, like they haven’t showered in a week and still be themselves and not give a rip about what anyone thinks and still be cool af, I respect that a lot.
That’s freaking awesome. That’s more attractive to me than looking flawless and trying extra hard to be this embodiment of perfection all the time and being extremely fake as a result.
OK? Huh, it's more than OK, it's good actually!!! Wonderful, really. Being yourself is one of the most beautiful things on this planet. Beauty standards are for people who feel inadequate with who they really are and let external factors determine their self-worth.
Just be yourself and it's all good.
Hygiene is not the same as beauty standards. So don't confuse them. Don't feel gross for having body hair at any place simply because society doesn't think it's hot.
I feel for people being pressured by their looks.
Yes it is absolutely fine.. though you still have to deal with people's comment, can just be ignoring though.
I have never consciously followed beauty/fashion trends and sure some question it, it is annoying but I am stubborn enough to not go with it.
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