Do you think it’s ok to not follow society’s expectations on beauty?

Question

I hate it when society expects women to be hair free , have a hot curvy body and a beautiful face to be accepted.

I don’t have an ass or boobs, I’m not attractive and never use makeup at all. Is it ok if I don’t follow what they expect me to do? I mean it’s my own body. Am I not allowed to make a choice?

coderdatuenvy · Accepted Answer

You'd be surprised as to how many guys might me drooling at u in their minds. people who want u shaved are thinking of having only sex with u. Period!!

boggboss · Accepted Answer

Lol ofc it's OK you can do anything u want

Desire-for-Greatness · Answer

Hi there!

Allow me to begin by saying:

The truth isn't black and white. It's gray.

You're right, there's too much pressure on women and men to conform to insane beauty standards.

That being said, it doesn't mean you shouldn't try to take care of yourself.

Not all men are into curvy women. Some men prefer women like you described yourself.

If you don't like that you can also change your body through exercise and through plastic surgery (I'd advise against it unless it's what you truly want).

Now here's where I disagree with the idea you described: Hygiene.

Arm pit hair is unhygienic if it's long and should be removed by both males and females if they want to be hygienic.

Men are naturally attracted to women with less hair on their bodies. It's a natural instinct not a social construct. Almost every culture on earth has a similar opinion on the matter. This means it's a natural instinct.

Of course that doesn't mean all men like that, there's a small minority which doesn't mind it either way.

The question I want to ask you is: Do you want to be controlled by an ideology? If you start doing the opposite of what men think of as the perfect woman; you will be under the control of the very thing you're trying to avoid.

Because your behavior got influenced by the difficult standards.

You win by being yourself while balancing with what people around the world believe is hygienic, beautiful, and attractive.

Don't let any ideology dictate everything you think and do. Be your own boss.

You can be as pretty as you'd like through working out or styling your hair or clothes or treatments... etc.

People don't realize how much better they'd look if they took care of themselves.

A 4/10 can become an 8/10 if he or she take care of themselves.

At the end of the day you are the biggest winner when you achieve the look you want and everyone has room for improvement.

I hope my long response didn't bore you and I wish you success and happiness in your life.

Joeshamo · Answer

I mean if you’re doing it to because you want to feel pretty and good about yourself on a night out or a date, it’s fine. And I’m sure you're cuter than you think you are. It’s nothing wrong with if dressing up in make up or girly clothes to make you feel good. But it’s when a woman gets surgeries and goes to extreme lengths to look like something she’s not is what’s wrong. I think fashion is important though. It shows people that you care about yourself. Like if you come to the office in sweat pants to work it shows you that you don’t care about your job. I feel it’s the same thing with going on a date. But yes, I definitely agree with you on women are expected to meet some really high standards and it’s not fair for them at all. But I don’t think you should give up on stuff that makes you feel good for that. As long as you’re doing it for you it’s fine. And I’m pretty sure you’re a cute girl. Don’t be so negative about the way you look. And if a guy only wants woman for her big breast, then he’s not worth your time anyways.

dankstranger · Answer

I think breaking beauty expectations is a lot like breaking fashion rules, it forces us to consider changing the status quo.

at one point in history it was trendy for the upper crust to walk around with umbrellas even when it wasn't raining. the whole idea was to prevent their skin from tanning at all to be as pale as possible because in those days pale meant you were an elite and that you had servants do your work which explained why you never tanned.

now its the opposite. people go lie in their yard and listen to the radio for an hour or two in the hopes that they will look darker.

beauty expectations like fashion expectations change. and the only way they change is when people dare to step outside the boundaries.

there's nothing wrong with ignoring their expectations. However there's also nothing wrong with trying to meet them if thats what you want to do. What matters is what makes you happy. If you find yourself miserable flat ironing your hair every day. then stop. Let those natural curls out and fuck the haters. lol. however if you really enjoy make up tutorials and love the experimentation. then keep doing what makes you happy.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

Idiotic guys in the commentsection think really it is easy to not follow society's expectations. If you really think it is easy, let your girlfriend to not shave and see what happens. She will get disgusting comments, looks, or maybe she even gets attacked. I am not joking. You may even get harrassed just because you did not shave. It is perfectly ok to prefere shaven women but let tf non shaven women alone instead of bodyshaming or harrasing women who ain't like in your preferences. If we have to accept and dont bodyshame manlets, bald, fat men, why can't we do the same to non shaven women. I really dont understand why idiotic people get offended just because some women dont shave

WhyteNiqqa · Answer

what? there have never been rules, u could always make urself ugly, or, non beautiful, no one is forcing anyone to be beautiful, its jus most girls choose to be and look attractive so they can get guys intrested in them, but go ahead and be non beautiful if you want, I've never cared about being good looking since about 10, and it never cause me any problems... no one says "man improve ur look, u look like shit"
i dunno where u girls are getting this idea society is forcing people to look beautiful, no one is forcing that.. its jus a lot of girls choose to look beautiful out of free will

Anonymous · Answer

There is no one who can force you to follow societal beauty norms in a free society. You do what you will. Unfortunately, those old chesnuts are there for a reason. They are collectively what a good majority has decided is beautiful and acceptable for ones appearance which is why they continue to persist as they do. They can change but it takes time and a large number of people coming on board to alter the course of what is beautiful. Example, being rail thin was huge in the 60s, and came back in the 90s, and now being curvy is in. Women went centuries without shaving a thing, and then to capitalize on the popularity of men's razors, razor companies women convinced women to shave and it has stuck. No matter how you feel about joining the herd or going your own way, find your confidence to do what you want and feel no need to defend your choices because they are your own.

Medicalbug · Answer

I never wear makeup and have a wide flat butt.
I used to fret over the color of my hair (dyed it from red to blond) and hated the fact that my butt size did not match my shirt size. I would only take pics of my face and upper body because I thought my lower half ruined everything. I would fo anything I could to highlight my face so that guys would forgive my ass.

Nowadays, I’m like meh. Makeup, nope. I make sure I’m professional for work, but otherwise I wear stuff I don’t mind on a hike. I do shower and use deodorant and make my own perfumes, but I’m lax with shaving and am just enjoying living in my skin without worrying too much about how I look. In general, I feel different than I look anyway. My body is not exactly the perfect ambassador for my inner self. So I just accepted that and treat it as well as I can without worrying too much about what others think.

TruthBringer · Answer

Then don't follow it. It's your life. You will have to seek people who are willing to accept you for it. For many men if not the majority, it is a turn-off on a variety of levels outside of looks alone. But hey, if you're okay with it, do your thing.

Just make sure you don't end up complaining that you're not getting things from people because of this. Like complain that men don't want to deal with you (anymore) just because of that. You have the right to your opinions and life-style and they have the right to their opinions, preferences and standards.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Sure but just don't whine about how people treat you. I don't give two ducks about a persons unconventional beauty choices. K just don't want to hear about it. YOU made a choice knowing full well that society isn't on the same page. Awesome, be an adult and accept all that comes with it. You want multi colored hair, than deal with the "I slept with a parrot in the navy, I think you might be my kid" comments. We don't live in an altruistic world. So be an adult, do you and shut up about it. No one cares. I don't care.

Beautyforeverybody · Answer

Sure. We are all free human beings and choosing what you do with your own body is one of your most basic rights. However, you should know that not many people will be a fan of it. This does not give them a right to judge you or mistreat you but you can’t blame them for not being attracted to you.

Anonymous · Answer

This is so difficult because you lose any which way you go.

If you conform to society then you lose your individuality, in which case you're not really you anymore so what's the point in living a life that isn't yours?

If you do not conform you will end up an outcast with no friends and no hope of love, in which case you will be lonely forever, and who wants to go through life alone?

We're doomed to be depressed because we can't be loved for who we are, and we can't be who we are if we are to be loved.

bobalife · Answer

You do you booboo. At the end of the day, its about your own happiness and what makes you feel beautiful /comfortable about your own self. You don't need to follow anyone. Just be your own person. Thats what I always believe and still do my own thang.

I didn't even get into make up until my 20s, which is really just eyeliner. I didn't start learning more and using make up until my late 20s. But there was never a shame about it.

ItsMeElliana · Answer

yes of course. its your body and your choice. dont care what others think of you.
yet, I do shave. and like having no body hair, to feel more skin, i dont do it for other people's opinions on me, i do it for myself. because i am more comfortable and i feel better this way

Diodoro · Answer

I agree with doing what you want and accepting the results of those decisions. Do I agree with the choice as a whole? Case by case

But I also don't care that much because it doesn't effect me. I'll only get annoyed by people who do so and whine

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Make the choice, I do what I want for me, to help me feel like I look good. I am the one who has to look at myself the most. If society doesn't like how I look, they have the freedom to not look.

Just know that if someone decides they want to look and dress terrible, it will affect them.

Nomoturtle · Answer

Obviously, you can make a choice.
But if you look around and think "most people seem to like this the most. I'm not that and I refuse to be like that", then be prepared to fail a lot of expectations.

Personally I think I wouldn't care much, I think most women look good enough already. But realistically that depends on just how unattractive you are.

Anonymous · Answer

Common sense, okay I take as expectations.

But these beauty standards people childlishly put are rubbish. Prettiness is never done by only one method.

I even heard an Arabic historian saying that West world has a fundemental problem in dealing with social problems, which is picking or selecting the (one and only) method.

That applies in many social rules.. this may be one too.

It is the 'value / idea / concept' not the 'method / means'. Of course the concept could mean that certain things are to be excluded but also never narrows it to one and only certain method.

So, chuck these social beauty rules in the bin. And you'll see some people love those who are not going by those rules.
Real life says something different from their 'virtual 😒' world.

Anonymous · Answer

I’ll put it this way… there are some celebrities that aren’t what I would call “conventionally attractive” that I find more attractive than like one of those “10/10 hot, dime-piece insta-models” that are obviously edited and airbrushed, or have had plastic surgery to look the way they do (also some celebrities too… it sets a very bad precedent in my opinion)

But if someone can own who they are with confidence, still look reasonably good, but can also go out on a bad day looking like they just rolled out of bed, like they haven’t showered in a week and still be themselves and not give a rip about what anyone thinks and still be cool af, I respect that a lot.

That’s freaking awesome. That’s more attractive to me than looking flawless and trying extra hard to be this embodiment of perfection all the time and being extremely fake as a result.

Ehjoh1 · Answer

OK? Huh, it's more than OK, it's good actually!!! Wonderful, really. Being yourself is one of the most beautiful things on this planet. Beauty standards are for people who feel inadequate with who they really are and let external factors determine their self-worth.

Just be yourself and it's all good.

Hygiene is not the same as beauty standards. So don't confuse them. Don't feel gross for having body hair at any place simply because society doesn't think it's hot.

I feel for people being pressured by their looks.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is absolutely fine.. though you still have to deal with people's comment, can just be ignoring though.
I have never consciously followed beauty/fashion trends and sure some question it, it is annoying but I am stubborn enough to not go with it.

fifi-aya · Answer

I think its more than okay.
Anyone could do whatever they want with their body. Its their body their choice.
You are totally free to shave or not if you dont want to,
To use makeup or not...
I think every body is unique and attractive in their own way, we dont need to have boobs or a big butt to call ourselves beautiful. And for the people who follow stupid beauty standards, they should grow tf up and stop expecting someone to change only to fit their fantaisies

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t even care anymore lol the older I get the more I realize that “beauty standards” are mostly targeted for teenage girls which is disgusting. When you’re older some things may or may not stick with you (insecurities) some may act upon them and some grow from it. But it’s so toxic now a days that it’s starting to cost the lives of others, so you really start to think is this really all worth it? I like the way I am and it’s been about a year where I’ve stopped trying to “fit” in the standards, because all of that was created for the male gaze. So now I dress up how I want to and choose if I want to go out bare faced or do my makeup whenever I want to. We shouldn’t have to feel pressured all of the time. Why be so hard on ourselves to be someone we’re not…for what? Where has our originality gone over the years? Our “uniqueness”. a lot of us forgot who we are or how we once saw ourselves as. So, I think it’s SUPER okay to not follow society’s expectations on beauty standards-

Luopio27 · Answer

What protocols do you want to follow?
The media sexy ones or your own?

Your life, your body, your style.
Kerp in mind, some people prefer dating one type, other the other type. When it comes to a tuff choice in the beginning of a date or relationship, follow your heart.

Slotbot · Answer

With that description alone, I’d like to ask u to marry me.

I can’t comprehend how society has turned a natural occurrence into such a chore and makes people feel embarrassed about their bodies.

I absolutely LOVE spotting a girls pubic hair under her arms n wish n dream to find a natural gem like urself.
Don’t ever worry what anyone thinks n be proud.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Absolutely. You do whatever feels right to you when it comes to your body.
(Except always be clean, shower often. My niece and nephew rarely shower and that's disgusting and not ok being a member of society.)

ohshee · Answer

Sea and all the above everything you just said that totally turns me on because you're confident I would choose you over many many women because you're your own person you're confident and you're happy we should go out sometime I think your questions great I think you're great

Novacane · Answer

Of course, it is perfectly fine! You live your life the way you want to live it. It does suck that we have these expectations or norms of beauty but sadly we can't do much about it, so all we can do is normalize it. Forget society you live your life to your own standard!

Adam1978 · Answer

There is a big difference between beauty standards and people preference. If you don't like them don't follow them yourself. Just target guys that doesn't meet them either. Never expect things from others that your not willing to do yourself. Plenty of less then ideal men out there.

Subarugirl · Answer

Absolutely, body hair is normal. It's not unhygienic unless you are being unhygienic. You can make what ever choice that you want, just know that for every action there is a reaction.

MelaninQueen21 · Answer

It's absolutely, positively, without a doubt A OK to not follow trends/follow the crowd. There's nothing wrong with that. I do even do that myself! Not to say that some trends don't have an influence on me, right now, but I chose/rather not what others do. I like to stand out. I express that by the way I act, I dress, treat others, etc.

Be yourself. Express yourself! Be who you are on the inside. Let the real you shine! Don't be afraid to be unique. You'll regret it if you don't.

KrisPW · Answer

Of course it's ok. But if it's the societal norm where you live, you will probably have a limited dating pool if that is your goal. If not, or if you have already found your person, then do whatever pleases you.

all_hayl · Answer

Society is made up of selfish, greedy, insecure, irresponsible idiots. SO, I prefer NOT to follow society’s advice if I can help it.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Sounds like you’re doing this just to get noticed? It’s also really easy.
Staying in shape will help you when you get to my age. Less prone to getting diseases and having bad health. Of course you don’t notice it now. You’re young.
Also, Society does not care about how you look. Maybe in certain cities across the USA, but not for the most part.
Social Media has fucked everything up too

Dreality · Answer

It's clearly okay because in society there are numerous of people having numerous of mindsrts and if you are going to follow them then dude you are not going to fit in that never ever. So just be what you are
at least you are fulfilling the expectations you are having with yourself.

Ironic_Method · Answer

You can do whatever you want, just don't expect for everyone to find you attractive.

tastycannoli · Answer

I mean people can do whatever they want and that's totally OK but I shave my pits and legs because it makes me feel attractive and also it's itchy if I don't and I hate being itchy

molonski2 · Answer

I dont know about the question , do as you please , but the picture they loaded with the hairy armpits makes me dry reach , dont do that , it really is disgusting , shave legs and armpits , have some self respect , disgusting :(

zagor · Answer

As questions on GaG have shown, the whole big boob/butt thing is a myth - as many guys aren't into that as are. You may be mistaking society's expectations for your own interpretation of them.

Guanfei · Answer

In the end, you're free to do whatever you want.
But norms aren't arbitrary, it's the norm because that's what the majority like.
And people are free to not like if you don't follow those norms, and you can't say a thing about it.

genericname85 · Answer

you can do whatever the fuck you want but you can't expect people to like when you do that.

venus1997 · Answer

It is YOUR body, what you choose to do with it is YOUR business. Screw what everyone else thinks!

RedStiletto88 · Answer

Yes you can make a choice, but if your choice is to be proud of a sloppy appearance just to spite society then don’t be surprised if society has a few things to say as well.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I think there is no standard to follow, so following it is impossible, and also the only person who's opinion matters is your SO.

Belmontandwilson · Answer

Please make your own choice. These features are so simple and only attract those who appreciate others on face value. I’m still trying to take my own advice but that’s the best I can give:).

Anonymous · Answer

As someone who's spent a lifetime as an outcast and embraced it let me tell you you never really find your people at least I never did. And let me tell you the more you go against the grain the more people will resent you. Live however you want. But I wouldn't if I were you. If I were you I'd play there game. At least a little bit. Act the part even though you don't fit the part. It's just easier in the long run.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

It was never not ok because its not against the law. Your freedom to do so but that doesn't stop people from having preferences and standards.

Massageman · Answer

You are free to look the way you prefer, and others are free to look at you or look away, just as they prefer.

Neko_Nya · Answer

Sure but don't complain when nobody finds you attractive

Anonymous · Answer

No one is stopping you from doing whatever you want with your body. When you say society , who are you talking about?

AnggieGirl · Answer

Why wouldn’t it be ok? Society is not my boss or my mom and even if it was then I’d call them narcissistic and steer clear

BeMuse · Answer

You can do your own thing, but most people will treat you worse. So if you go your own way you better take initiative and lead.

FTnWo · Answer

Absolutely... as a matter of fact I encourage it to an extent, I'm not into hairy arms or legs on a female but I'm sure their are folks out there that do...

hahahmm · Answer

It's called being anti-social. There are many anti-social attention whores today and I don't support giving them attention.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

It basically like how others mentioned feel free to do whatever you see fit but expect not a lot of people will approve of your decisions being brutally honest here.

Naydyonov · Answer

Sure, do what you want, but don't expect any of the benefits society rewards for achieving beauty standards. You still have a chance of receiving these benefits, but it falls from a 95% chance to something more like 0-1%.

haooy · Answer

Well, I don't think anyone will tell you it's not okay.
But if you go for approval, it's will be normal that people will reject it.
I think as long as you live in this society you got to play the games it comprises of.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Its preferable to not follow society expectations. Dont want all the fake shit

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Perfectly OK. Much of what society tries to push on us is sickly in logic and/or just plain wrong.

Gia013100 · Answer

Sure. I’m not straight like society except me to be.

TallAnon · Answer

You can do with your body what you want and we can do with our thoughts what we want. If someone is disgusting, we will judge them for it, but they can still choose to be disgusting. Freedom goes both ways.

Do you think it’s ok to not follow society’s expectations on beauty?

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