Why are guys so intimidated by beautiful girls?

[Anonymous]

ive noticed that guys seem to be intimidated by beautiful girls. is it a fear of rejection? do you think they already have a boyfriend? what is it? and as a result of this I notice a lot of attractive guys are with really average looking girls. it seems that average/unattractive girls have a lot of success with dating/romance is it because they're not threatening? I wish more guys would talk to beautiful girls.

[WeaponZero]

There are two possibilities here and which one it is depends on the guy

1. Many guys would rather settle for a sure thing than take a risk to get something that may or may not pan out. A girl who has more options available to her (like an extremely attractive woman would) would be less likely to give you a chance just based on how much options she has than a girl who has fewer options. So, even if they're not getting what they REALLY want, they'd rather go for the girl who has an 80% chance of saying yes over the girl who only has a 20%. Lots of guys are uncomfortable with communicating with women on a person to person basis due to either insecurity or just people issues, so on the chance they do, they will only do it for the "sure thing."

2. They make assumptions about her personality based on her looks and assume negative things about her. If she is well dressed and obviously put a lot of effort into her hair and makeup, there can be some truth to this as the high maintenance label can come into play and while most guys appreciate the LOOK, they also don't like the idea of dating a woman who invests over an hour into getting ready to leave the house each day and spends as much money on grooming products as he probably does on electronics or tools. The possibility of dating a high maintenance woman is scary because they can be very demanding. What is high maintenance? Well, in my opinion, there are many different expressons of love. There's gift giving, there's affection, and there are others as well. But one of them is sacrifice. A woman who I would label as high maintenance only understands one expression of love: sacrifice. She has to keep her man jumping through hoops and making unnecessary sacrifices in other aspects of his life because it is the only way she feels loved or appreciated. And these women are not quality women.

So, in short (and sorry for my wall of text rant) they're scary because the chance for rejection is extremely high (and to a guy who is uncomfortable dealing with not just girls, but people in general, this is a BIG DEAL), and bcause it's VERY easy for her to come off as being high maintenance.

On a scale of 1-10 in looks, with 10 being perfect, you would assume the ideal number is 10. Wrong. The ideal number is 8, because it is the highest a woman can be without seeming unapproachable. And when a girl who is naturally an 8 makes effort to style herself to become a 9 or a 10, she achieves the high maintenance look.

[Asker]

i see your logic

[WeaponZero]

And you raise me?

[Asker]

better to try and fail than not try at all. if your never rejected then how can you ever really learn how to talk to girls

[WeaponZero]

To be perfectly honest neither of these apply to me. I'm a unique case so I have my own reasons.

[WeaponZero]

I R Speshal =) lol

[Anonymous]

ive been trying to ask out a girl who is a 9-10 and every time I see her in class I get too nervous and end up saying some pretty stupid things and I know she is turned off by me because I am just another guy who is trying to get in her pants even tho I would love a relationship.. I've I've been trying to ask out a girl who is a 9-10 and every time I see her in class I get to nervous and end up saying some pretty stupid things and I know she is turned off by me because I am just another guy who is trying to get in her pants even tho I would love a relationship. I have seen her hit on by many other guys and know it is a daily thing for her so it is hard for me to stand out from the crowd.. I've been told I'm good looking and have been cat called by random girls on occassion and hear it a lot from friends/family so who knows I could be hideous to others. It doesn't help that I sit next to a friend in class who is loud and immature at times and definitely not helping my situation because he has no idea how to be a proper wingman an and doesn't make an effort to meet new girls but complains about having no girlfriend. Salty.. I have high standards and need a beautiful girl to date but they all act disinterested.. Sigh :(

Message me I would love to talk more and get some advice!

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Probably because you already assume you don't have a chance. Really good looking people are typically for fantasizing over - because realisticly we doubt our ability to nab someone we feel is " out of our league."

There's this really gorgeous guy in my biology class - dark hair, icy blue eyes, atletic - just unbelievably good looking. However, I would never approach him in respects to dating him. Just because he's on a whole nother level of hotness than me.

The first thing I think is, well I'm okay looking - but the girls he probably has to choose from are probably like 9's and 10's like himself.

How the hell am I as like a 6, suppose to compete with a 9 or a 10?

So realistically, I have to back off.

I'm sure it works very much the same for guys - guys are really more in - tune with this sub concious competiton between dudes, so I'm sure the process is just the same. Plus they have to approach the girl, and impress her somehow - ay ay ay that must be really stressful for dudes faced with a really stunning girl. Unless he feels he's just as stunning himself.

There was a test done to experiment with this whole " in your league thing." Random group of chicks and dudew were asked to pick a partner they found most attractive out the bunch.

Every single person paired up with someone within their calculated attractiveness scale - like 7's with 6.5's or 3's with 4's etc - completely on their own.

I think the majority of us are aware about how attractive we are, and choose to compete against those at our level, because our chances of success are much higher, then hoping some amazingly good looking person will randomely come along.

I mean, it happens - but not very often.

[Asker]

u should talk to him or smile at him :) because if you don't itll be a missed opportunity. don't be so hard on yourself

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Uh - I'd rather not be forced into the friend zone in developing a friendship with a guy I really want, but doesn't want me back. I've been there before and it sucks terribly :(

[Asker]

have you ever talked to him? how do you know he only wants to be your friend. you have to make yourself noticed

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Lol I asked him for a pencil once - that has to count for something :P

Idk - I probably should talk to him more - but I ultimately get the sense it's a hopeless cause. Guys like him get gorgeous girls - not average ones. There was one chick I saw him kiss on the way to class a few months ago. She was a blond haired, stunning girl. I don't know if he's still with her, but if that didn't put things into perspective - then I'd be kind of silly in getting my hopes up for this guy.

[Asker]

how do you know your not just as beautiful if not more so then the girls he associates with? people are always so much harder on themselves than anyone else. and how do you know your not funnier or smarter than the girls he hangs out with ?

[Asker]

and ya when I ask a guy something I count it as talking to them

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Hmm - because I just do. I know I'm attractive - but I also know there are girls who are more attractive to me. I also know I have a good personality, but I also know there are girls with one's he desires more. Could work the opposite way - but realistically thinking it's about a 45% chance. We're not all made to click on a romantic level - some people you just get a feeling. My heart has never lied to me before - so. But, your right. You neva know. Maybe I will talk with him more...

[heavenonearth]

Fear of rejection, thinking she's taken, feeling they're not up to her standards, prejudgements on her personality, interests, etc.

However, if you're talking about yourself, you do realize that you'll probably have a lot more success (probably more than average girls), if you go after guys yourself, right? There are going to be a lot fewer guys ready to turn you down, and once they get to know you (assuming you're a nice, down-to-earth sort of person), some of their doubts about your character, if they have any, will be dispelled. A lot of guys will be attracted to you, so that's one requirement fulfilled in most cases. Why wait for someone to come up to you when you can choose guys *you* personally want to get to know better? If you think he's a good guy and what you're looking for, go over and talk to him. Since you're pretty attractive, it's a lot more likely that you'll recieve a positive response.

I'm not saying let all of this go to your head (don't haha), but just be aware that you have a lot less reason to be afraid of asking people out than others do. You're looking at this whole situation the wrong way, take some initiative. It's worth it.

[Asker]

ya but I kinda feel like a guy should approach be first, ill give him encouragement but I feel like the initiative is ultimately up to him, I guess that's not how people act anymore tho

[heavenonearth]

All I'm saying is you'll have more success if you put in some effort. You can change your situation, but it's up to you if you take the steps to do that or not. Good luck though.

[DAVIDSON216]

Great answer. Very true you probably won't be rejected AND you can just choose any guy that piques your interest. Jealous!

[Skyler123]

These men who do not approach beautiful women tend to have insecurity issues. If they can't get up enough nerve to go after what they want then their predetermined idea that they aren't good enough for you is true. No woman wants a man who can't take initiative, let alone be some insecure p*ssy who doesn't have confidence in himself. So they're actually doing you a favor by not approaching you.

Don't feel bad because you're beautiful some wonderful guy who has confidence and a well rounded head on his shoulders (who actually knows what he wants) will steal your heart some day. Until then just keep being...beautiful! :)

[Asker]

i agree

[Hades]

LOL @ the last paragraph. Keep telling yourself that.

[danndan6]

That is such a ridiculous answer. she best answered that because you complimented her. girls get 9 guys approaching them before finding their match while guys have to go through 9 rejections before finding their match. you have no idea how hard it is for guys. argghh, why am I letting an irrelevant yank fustrate me?

[Skyler123]

Why are you calling me names? Also we women suffer rejection just as much as you men. So don't even bring the pitty party my way. I've been rejected SEVERAL times in the past by men. Most of my relationships ended because they wanted out of the relationship. On top of that I know what I'm talking about because EVERY single one of my relationships started with ME making the first move. I told these men whom thought they weren't good enough for me that I wanted to be with them.

[Skyler123]

And these men had so many insecurity issues you wouldn't believe. I kept having to give reassure them that they were blah, blah, blah. I got tired of it. But when it comes to them trying to uplift others they aren't strong enough and don't even know how to be happy them self. I have been rejected innumerable times before. But you know what? Unlike YOU who lets rejection get the best of you I pick myself up and move on. You can't control who likes you. It's as simple as that, if you can't get

[Skyler123]

If you can't get over that fact then you shouldn't even bother trying to date or pursue a relationship for that matter.

[Asker]

i also get rejected a lot and the only guys who have the gumption to talk to me are usually creeps

[MOZZY10]

Hades you're not alone. Beautiful women intimidate most guys. In fact, plenty of guys get intimidated by average-looking women. But when you find yourself in the presence of a genetic celebrity of the female gender, the sense of longing and confusion can be overwhelming.

If you come across a girl, I mean The perfect 10. The A plus. The woman you'd sell your soul for, no questions asked. Her natural habitat: urban centers of high finance, fashion, politics, and the entertainment industry. A HEAVY PRICE TO PAY don't you think ?

[Asker]

but don't you feel like if you see a beautiful girl and you don't smile/look/talk to her then youve missed an opportunity?

[Hades]

You're right my good man! It is a price TOO heavy to pay IMO.

[Asker]

good lady

[Phoenix1991]

Well try talking to a guy whose ripped with a nice smile and all he's wearing is jeans, yeah kinda hard to talk a bit right? Well most people might be tongue tied/nervous, only a handful people can talk normally in a situation like that.

Regarding to men, Well not all guys are intimidated by a beautiful woman, actually she would get my interested quicker hen a dog noticing the mail man. I don't attack but my eyes are on the target non stop, like most men. They are like hunters, we wait for a second when the target drops its guard then move in for the kill or in this case just move in period.

Then again, each person has a different perspective on what's beautiful / attractive. We all fear rejection, men and women, but tradition is that men are the ones who are supposed to make that first move and all women have to do is either say yes or No, so of course we would have to swallow the pride of taking a chance with our pride to say hey or even ask for a number.

[Asker]

but I find more and more girls have to take the initiative to talk to guys. I admit girls must give guys a sign that they are interested but guys should make the first move and I feel like their doing that less and less

[Phoenix1991]

if a girl smiles and/or winks and/or waves at guy, trust me, it would make the average guy walk over to her and talk. Just like how women like to be told their pretty often/occasionally, men like some sort of a confirmation so they don't waste their time and get rejected.

[Asker]

ya I agree women should do that but in my experience guys don't make an effort to talk to girls, the girls have to do the talking

[Phoenix1991]

maybe from your experience, but not from mine or some other people, its different.

[EngineeringStudent]

Well, for me, it's not strictly beautiful girls. It's any girl. I just don't know what to say (initially at least). One time I couldn't think of anything and I ended up telling a girl that she was shiny.

The the strategy I used on my current girlfriend was to basically wait it out. Build up rapport, figure out the right things to talk about, etc. This only works when I see a girl on a consistent regular basis though (like waiting for a class to start).

[Asker]

shiny! lol

[EngineeringStudent]

Lol, I know right? I'm still face palming to this day.

[danndan6]

be more approachable. sory for speaking about girls with ratings out of ten but a guy is far more likely to approach a 7/10 who isn't going to bite his head off than a 9/10 who is going to bite his head off. it's tough to approach girls generally so a good looking girl appears to have more guys approaching her and is therefore more likely to reject the guy. therefore it's about cutting their losses. be more approachable and you will have less guys seeing you as a python

[mattiee]

These are some of me and my friends beliefs why

a) they have a fear of rejection

b) they figure she has a boyfriend already, as she can probably have whoever she wants

c) many guys are message and are trying to get at her so she has a large variety ( like the pretty girl who has her wall filled with guys messaging her, or her phone is constantly going off)

[Anonymous]

It works both ways, guys will get uglier girls so they won't leave them as easily for another guy

Girls get uglier boyfriend (well because men are just ugly compared to girls) and because when they want to settle down they want a guy who won't cheat on them.

[Asker]

im discouraged :(

[Opinion Owner]

don't be, just be happy that you're sexy, later on you'll get old and no one will pay attention to you, not even your children, but hey, that's life...

[Asker]

my children will be my slaves I'm gonna make them do everything for me

[Anonymous]

Here are some things the average/plain Jane girls have going for them.
They are more agreeable. They treat men better and listen to them way better. They don't unnecessarily test men, which most good looking women are most guilty of. They fall in love with an above average and cherish him and his company. They usually have a low partner count which helps them bond with a man. They don't have a history of broken relationships which makes them less jaded with men. They value traditional family life and takes care of their husbands even though they have a career. They don't need continuous excitement since most are not party girls. The most important quality they make their men feel WANTED in their lives.
Basically good looking women abuse their god given powers which average women dont.
I know this is not 100% true with every women. But this is mostly true.

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

Its easy for a beautiful girl to become a little bit ugglier so she gets more approached and dated by not wearing sexy clothes, not putting make up, not spending much money on hair and nails, gaining some fat and behaving more like an ugly girl.

[Asker]

well you don't have to have your nails and hair done, weary revealing clothes or put on lots of makeup to be beautiful...

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

Ok, you can help guys talk to you by doing certain things like lets say in a club you can "accidentally" push a guy or step on his foot and then say "i'm sorry" or tell your friends to push you on him, or you can stand near a guy you want him to talk to you so its eaier for him and less risky to start talking to you, or from far away you can give a guy the finger and then he will have a big excuse to come and talk to you to ask you why you gave him the finger without feeling fear of rejection

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

These are all ways that a girl can use to make the first move without looking that you are doing the first move because they seem accidental. The guys will be able to start talking to you without fear and anxiety because you are already in conversation, there is no approach, guys fear the approach, the what if she rejects me if I approach, no approach no fear.

[Asker]

well if I wanted to get a guys attention I don't think I would resort to telling him to f*** off lol

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

link

link

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

Holy sh*t, you have no clue how flirting works do you? This is how girls flirt in the club. OK maybe this is too advanced for you, maybe you could start by holding eye contact with guys to show them that you are more approachable, not 0.1 second eye contacts but big 5 second eye contacts. And for more flirting techniques that are not wild like the ones I "teached" you here my sweet innocent little girl, check out these links:

[Asker]

well I do know how to flirt, but that's just not how I do it.

[MyNameIsJonas]

Im not.

You can change your body language/persona to attract more males. Your probably right about the fact that a lot of guys are afraid to approach you, so try reaching out just a bit. Smile or start a little convo with them about anything.

[Asker]

i admit I don't smile and I don't look friendly that's my own fault

[MyNameIsJonas]

Then I wouldn't talk to you.

I think that honestly I'm a good looking guy, but I am always friendly toward people.

[NonchalantBro]

they probably

-are high maintenance

-demanding (of things the guy 'should' have)

-have a bf

-are married

-are out of our league

etc...

guys can come up with an endless amount of reason not to approach, really...

[AndyTheG]

They have a fear of rejection I guess. Some guys need to man up. Better to fail than to have never tried at all.

[Asker]

yes exactly you have to try!

[MOZZY10]

Disagree . . . All I'm looking for is a shy modest girl who is considerate and loyal . . . A girl with too much ego (like yourself) will be no less than a headache . . . so why bother checking them out like a sad a** if your not keen for them . . . I bet you won't like that for your girlfriend

[AndyTheG]

I totally agree that personality is more important than looks. But do I think that beautiful girls can't have nice personalities? Of course they can. Some guys see a good looking girl and dismiss her just for that reason - who knows, she might have been the nicest person you've ever met.

[Asker]

well here's a newflash everyone has an ego. and how do you know a beautiful girl won't be just as considerate and loyal if not more so than your shy modest girl?

[Hades]

MOZZY10 is correct again, he's on a roll!

[AndyTheG]

Call him butter ;)

[WoodWizzard87]

pretty much the fear of rejection, before you even get rejected. Because she has a hot bod like every other college girl, we assume she's a goddess or put her up on the un-reachable "pedestal".

[Ashley8282]

preconceived notions of her personality leading to a fear of rejection, figures she is taken etc. Everyone said it pretty much

[Anonymous]

"I wish more guys would talk to beautiful girls."

And we wish that beautiful girls would talk to us.

And basically you've answered your own question - we think she very probably has a boyfriend and it's also fear of rejection

[Screamo-Lu]

I'm glad they are. More for the rest of us, you know? =P

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

...but your really pretty? lol

[jaugar]

U are right about one thing is fear of rejection. I'm not scared talk to any beautiful girls but I'm scared to ask them because sometime they are out of my league.

[Anonymous]

a lot of time it's presence and the way the girl comes across as 'approachable' or not.

[Asker]

this is also true

[cyrus7]

- Out of our league

- Probably has a boyfriend

- High maintenance

those are some points

[Asker]

what do you mean by high maintenance?

[CandyCoated123]

nice

[Asker]

well I'm just saying what are you referring to specifically 'high maintenance' can mean several things.

[cyrus7]

by that I mean that she obviously spends a lot of time on her looks, so she'd probably hold her guy to the same standards

[Asker]

what about natural beauty? I don't think beautiful girls necessarily spend a lot of time on their appearence, a lot of girls who are beautiful don't realize they are so why would they judge a guys appearence against their own?

[cyrus7]

well there are some girls who are beautiful naturally and don't really dress to show it off, those are the ones that are a lot more approachable :)

[Asker]

well those girls are obviously seeking attention and yes theyay be high maintenance as you say, but then their are the girls who don't need to wear attention grabbing clothes because theyre face grabs attention for them

[cyrus7]

right, but either way they're out of my league so why bother hahah

[Asker]

how do you know theyre out of your league? just based off of how they look? maybe theyre out of your league in regards to other things like sense of humor, intelligence etc. I don't think you can say theyre out of your league just because of how they look

[cyrus7]

Yeah I can lol, beautiful people will want beautiful people

maybe a guy will lick out with a beautiful girl once but not always

[cyrus7]

luck out* not lick out lol

[Asker]

i hate to say this but you are too hard on beautiful ladies you have to give them a chance, can't just give up on them before you even give them a shot. I can tell you as a girl who has many many many other conversations with girls all we want is for a kind guy to tell us they think were beautiful and as us out, nuff said honestly its that simple

[cyrus7]

they don't want my chance lol, plenty of better looking guys out there for them :)

[Asker]

no your wrong, have you not seen the boyfriends of most beautiful girls, well they either don't have them or have average bfs who are douchy. there aren't a lot of good looking guys out there for them. theyre taken by average looking girls

[cyrus7]

nah they wouldn't want me lol I know, if they did they would show some interest

[Bluegameroyon]

they're out of my league + I don't wanna ruin that beauty ;P

[bigmike16]

I think its a fear of rejection especially if the guy likes her and wants to date her. But, feels that she is out of his league.

[Misty_04]

That is a load of bull.

[fr4nk]

They have worse personalities

[Asker]

um...so all average looking girls have good personalities and all beautiful girls have bad personalities?

[fr4nk]

On average, in general, overall. Obviously you can't say any group of people are all the same.

[Hades]

Because they will cheat on you.

[Asker]

i think cheating is about the kind of person you are, not what you look like

[Hades]

Is that so?

[Asker]

well can you tell if someone is gonna cheat on you just by what they look like? you can have a beautiful girl who is loyal, loving and caring just as you can with anyone else

[Hades]

I can't say I've ever witnessed this. From my experience the more attractive a girl is the more likely it is she will cheat on her partner.

[Asker]

i think that's unfair, you can be average looking and just as likely of cheating. I consider myself attractive I've never considered cheating on a boyfriend

[Hades]

I'll believe it when I see it.

[Asker]

sorry but I think that's ridiculous that you think that by looking at someone you know their a cheater, you have to give people a chance

[Hades]

Why?

[Asker]

because your saying that you know an average looing girl won't cheat on you but a beautiful girl will, how do you even know this? you know everything about a person just by looking at them? your limiting yourself by saying that beautiful girls are cheaters. what if a beautiful girl is interested in u, would you reject her beacuse you already know she's a cheater?

[Hades]

Yes! You're finally beginning to understand.

[Asker]

yes I understand, I understand perfectly. but I also think your ignorant and narrow minded!

[Hades]

That's a low blow, I thought you were better than that. But, life goes on eh?

[Asker]

do understand how stupid it is to only date girls who you just assume won't cheat on you, that's so stupid! should I only date average looking guys cause I assume they won't cheat on me, of course not! if I like a guy then I will talk to him and get to know him and even then I won't know if he's gonna cheat on me!

[Asker]

im sorry but when you make such an inflammatory comment as all beautiful girls will cheat on you then how do you expect me to react?!

[Hades]

Some compassion and understanding would be nice. God, you really hurt my feelings there...

[Asker]

how can I understand the logic of someone who makes such a huge generalization?

[Hades]

But it isn't my logic, it's just fact.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

There's always a stereotype that better looking people will cheat - or don't make for good boyfriends girlfriends. Typically a lot of our younger generation of good looking people due get a bit caught up in being able to nab any person they want, or just aren't serious about being with only one person when there's so many hot other people to sample.

Don't get offended - this is just from general observation. Is it true for all really good looking ppl? no not at all -

[Asker]

but its not a fact! I know plenty of amazing looking girls and none of them have cheated on their boyfriends. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but that is a massive generalization your saying that all the beautiful women in the world have or will cheat on their boyfriends at some point! you realize this right?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

But in a society that pretty much allows pretty people to have that advantage in dating, sex, courtship - people will take advantage no doubt. There's a lot of responsibility and discipline that comes with having options - and honestly, a lot of people lack that at our age.

When your options are more limited - you learn to cherish what you have when you finally get it - hence why you won't be so keen on tossing that person aside for someone else -

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

But QA - your correct in saying it's more so the individual. Looks make it easier to do, but it also takes that person's mentality to really go through with it. But like I said - lack of discipline is there too.

[Asker]

if I care about someone other people don't exist to me, I would never hurt them in any way. to say that pretty girls have no discipline and because they have so much variety so therefore they will cheat is insulting, don't you realize that?

[Hades]

Apology accepted! And as I've said, I'll believe it when I see it.

[Hades]

@ oOsweetonessOo, thankyou for adding credence to my point.

[Asker]

this is f***ing stupid!

[Hades]

What is? I'm sorry but I am thoroughly confused.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

lol sry QA - blame society for this. But honestly you have nothing to worry about - if your attractive and an overall good person - fate will be on your side surely. It's just like when I was growing up surrounded by so many negative stereotypes. I didn't moan about them really. Just proved they didn't apply. That's pretty much all you have to do here. Your a nice girl ( when you not pissed lol) so just let that show. You'll have no issues.