There are two basic settings in which you get to know girls:
1. The frequent social circle, which means you see them on a daily or weekly basis at for example school or your neighborhood.
This is usually very indirect and takes a while to actually pull of successfully, because if you rush in and get rejected, it will ruin your reputation in the group and you won’t be able to date other girls in that group anymore (since they will think they are you’re second choice and no girl wants to be your second choice).
In this setting, you are supposed to show your value, be friendly to everyone in the group, be the guy everyone wants to talk to etc., and occasionally talk to your target as well (who by now MUST know you exist, since you’re such a prominent person in the group with a voice). You can gradually start giving her more attention and flirt with her (I’m talking about days and weeks now) and start inviting her to group activities that you initiate, like nights out, going with a group to play pool etc.
By now your target (and most likely a few other girls in your group) probably created a decent amount of interest in you, at least enough to make her willing to go out with just you or in a small group. Also it can help if “word leaks out” that you like a certain girl. This is where you go to the actual dating part. But once again, do NOT rush in since if you get rejected it’s really hard to deal with it since you have to face your failure every day.
Note: How to pick out a target? Read the next piece in which I will describe allot of signs that women will send you to talk to them.
2. The cold approach, where you know you’ll never see the girl again if you don’t take her number right now, for example when you’re at a bar or a bus station.
OK, you see this really nice looking girl and you want to date her, but you don’t know her and she’s in the mall buying new clothes and you’re both in the same shop. It’s easy to say “I’m afraid to get rejected” and let the opportunity slip by. But I can guarantee you, the WORST rejection on earth CAN’T be worse than the “What if did approach her?” thought that will torture you the next few days.
So why not approach her? What do you have to lose?
OK from my experience, and believe me I’ve approached a lot of random women, got rejected a lot but through trial and error eventually found out what usually works (keep in mind that no matter HOW good you’ll get, you’ll still get rejected occasionally, but nothing in life worth having comes without a risk).
What I usually try to do, direct or indirect, is to make her aware of my presence and look for signs that she’s interested in me. Some guys are just straight out good looking, are great dancers, wear nice clothes or whatever which make girls bound to notice them. These are all great and you should find whatever quality you have to stand out from the crowd of regular guys. But the funny thing is that, there’s a VERY simple way of making someone aware of your presence and that’s simply making eye contact with them. Look long enough to make them look in your direction and make eye contact and SMILE at her.
"The WORST rejection on earth CAN’T be worse than the “What if" thought..."
And as for the signs of interest from her side: constantly looking in your direction, smiling at you, finding reasons to walk past you or to stand close to you are all little things that pretty much scream “approach me!”
Here’s the cool part; if she doesn’t make eye contact or doesn’t smile back, I usually keep it at that and take it as a rejection (it saves me the embarrassment of actually going up to her and get rejected verbally) but in most cases they WILL smile back to you and that’s pretty much an invitation for you to come and talk to them.
So why not? Go over right away and just say something. A lot of guys think that WHAT they say is important but believe me, if she’s into you, she will ramble along with WHATEVER you say. If the attraction is strong enough and she has been looking at you all the time when you were dancing or whatever, she will be so delighted by you talking to her she will do anything to keep your attention. Heck, I can even go up to them and tell them “nice weather huh?” and they will ramble back. Conversations don’t make sense when your flirting so don’t worry about what you’ll say, just keep a friendly and playful attitude and smile constantly.
After a short conversation where you talk about whatever you feel like (although talking about the direct situation often works best, for example about the clothes she buying or complain about all the smokers in the place) you should try to push it in the direction of “This is what I like to do in my spare time, what do you do in your spare time?” (not literally lol) which will often lead to a playful comparing of “who’s lifestyle is cooler” during which you can playfully tease her that her weekends are boring and you should show her what a good time is (or vice versa, if she has something interesting to do, show your interest for that and that has to show you sometime or teach you).
From here on you’re actually planting seeds to meet up in the future. Sweet huh?
So now that you’ve steered the conversation in a “we should meet up sometime” direction it’s time to find a way to make contact to further discuss the details about the where and when.
Here’s where you take her number.
Instead of just saying “can I have your number?” tell her something like “hey yeah that sounds fun! We should do that sometime! I’ll call you this weekend to see what’s up. What’s your number?”
Then you get the number, chat up a lil bit more and a few minutes later find an excuse to leave.