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Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

Nothing is worse than being stuck in the friend zone when you have developed lust for your friend, you desperately want to tell your friend that you secretly have a crush on them but don't know how to tell them or risk losing the friendship.

You can do nothing and just remain in the prison called the friend zone. Or you could develop the courage and tell them how you feel face to face or maybe write a letter, because you feel it maybe more romantic. Or maybe get drunk and make your play only to be rejected.
You could be fortuitous and change your relationship status into a couple but it is most likely you will end up rejected, embarrassed, or suppressed.

Moving your relationship from the friend zone to romantic partner.

The first step is to stop everything that friends do. Do not communicate how you are feeling with verbal or written communication, it will only ruin the trust that you have established in the relationship.

Don't continue to associate with them as if they are just a friend, stop doing all the friend things that you normally do and most importantly do not explain why you are acting differently they must not suspect that you are trying something different. They will suddenly feel that you have become different but you must not confirm or deny this. Be mysterious. Reduce the amount of attention, compliments, gifts and affection that you would normally give to nothing.
Your friend will not consciously or logically start to feel attraction for you, so you have to communicate to the unconscious through behavior and body language.

Romantic relationships go through stages, attraction, tension, rapport, and intimacy. If you are friends you are relating well, have rapport and trust but are missing the dating stage
which includes attraction, rapport, and intimacy. You have to build tension and attraction which leads to intimacy, so you cant be nice, nice just doesn't help because this creates rapport but negates tension, attraction which is what you want which is probably why you ended up in the friend zone.

So the second step is to understand the basics of attraction, attention, tension and rapport to break out of the friend zone.

The third step is to create attraction, you ended up in the friend zone because you didn't go thru the attraction stage and went straight into the rapport stage. You need to start being attractive instead of being friendly. If you are guy stop following and start leading, hopefully she will follow you. Attraction is about tension, flirting, and the possibility of intimacy or sex. Rapport is about connection, safety, comfort and lessening of tension. Friends create rapport, romantic partners create attraction.

So we need to start to break rapport and start to create tension.
Tease about things they are confident, role playing helps and assume that they are making sexual innuendos, start associating your friend with sexual talk in a fun way so they will start associating you with sexual talk.
If you go out to dinner tell the waiter its your 1st year anniversary, so you can role play the couple in a fun way. Break rapport techniques , stop agreeing with your friend, reduce the compliments you normally give but add sexual connotations. Be assertive.

If you are single, meet other people, date. At first this seems counter productive but it will confuse them even more and help you to make sure that you have not fooled your self into thinking they are, special, unique. Also it makes you more attractive in the sense that there are other people who are interested in being your significant other. This will help you by bringing you back to reality and distract you if you are crushing on your friend. It is attractive for you be wanted by other people, to be with you, it will make them notice you more.

Practice your flirting, be confident in your delivery and your body language best to practice with other people until you are confident to try it on your friend.

The final stage is to escalate, create tension, body language, touch, behaviour.
You will notice that you haven't said anything verbally or written, you have communicated you desires, through behaviour, body language and by creating tension.

Three possible things can result from trying to move out of the friend zone and into a couple scenario. They like the idea and returns your interest, they don't like the idea and are flattered by the advances, attention and you remain good friends, or they don't like it and
they feel they cant be friend anymore which is possible but unlikely unless you did something really stupid, important read their body language, look for signs of interest.

Seducing a friend into a lover is a slow process you must not stop once you start so long as they feel comfortable at each stage. The first 4 steps stop them thinking that you are just a friend without freaking them out and the last stage is taking action.
So pick the night and escalate through body language, create tension, touch, and look for signs of interest. You can make your friend a significant other.
Getting Out Of The Friend Zone
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Belgie

    Articles like this are all well and good in theory.

    But the fact is, there is no escape from the Friend Zone.

    If any guy ever found a way out of the Friend Zone, a sure fire way, an escape hatch as it were... well there'd be statues raised to the guy all over the world.

    There is no escape from the Friend Zone. Deal with it. Don't waste your life chasing ancient treasure maps which promise a way out. They lead only to disappointment.

  • alltheabove1212

    Not sure this always has to happen. Had a friend recently who liked me and I didn't do any of those sexual things. I just was funny and talked to her.

  • honeyedjulles

    And how did this work out for you?