1 mo

Breaking out the Friend Zone

Breaking out the Friend Zone

I wanted to share a quick story about Bob and how we broke him out of the Friend Zone.

WARNING: Kid's don't try this at home!

So his name was Bob. Bob was about 5'8 200 pounds and the funniest guy you ever want to meet. Bob had lot's of friends...lots of female friends. One friend in particular was Mary. Mary was his "perfect" woman. She was funny, caring, beautiful....she was everything to Bob except she wasn't his girlfriend.

Bob has been Mary's best friend for the past year and a half. That is a long time to have feelings for someone. Bob was miserable. He couldn't see his life without this woman being in it ...even if it was just a friendship. Bob however had enough and called me looking for some advice. The pain of not having more with Mary was just too much to handle.

I told Bob I had a plan and it would take about 30 days to pull it off! I told Bob to go watch this movie and basically we were going to pull off the same stunt. Well 'sort of'. That movie was from the 80's called "The boyfriend School."

Breaking out the Friend Zone

The movie in a nut shell was about cartoonist Gus Kubicek (Steve Guttenberg) who is a good guy, but he suffers from a poor track record with women. That's where his sister, Lizzie (Shelley Long), comes in. She's a successful romance novelist, and she knows what women want. When Lizzie remakes her mild-mannered brother into a hunky biker with an exotic accent, Gus finally gets a shot at the girl of his dreams: journalist Emily Pear (Jami Gertz). But, when the truth comes out, will she stick with him?

Breaking out the Friend Zone

The problem with Mary was that she didn't see Bob as "Boyfriend" material. So after a tiny investigation into what was going on I found out Bob wasn't making a "boyfriend" impression on Mary. She didn't see him in that light and to be fair this is all Bob's fault. There are many different universes of the friend zone. Bob though was in the classic kind of Friend Zone. You know....the psychological place in which you put yourself when you behave like a friend with the person you like, because you don't have the courage to behave otherwise.

We put Bob in the gym for 30 days, shaved off his beard and got him dressing better. At this point Bob is feeling like a million bucks, a changed man....but will it be enough to attract Mary into his den of desire? Mary started seeing changes in Bob almost immediately. Bob kept asking me if he could just sit her down at dinner one day and confess all his feelings to her. I of course told Bob...HELL NO. It was clear that this needed to be done right as it should of been from the start.

Breaking out the Friend Zone

We needed to spark attraction inside her for Bob. Confessing feelings after a year and half is not attractive....most women will feel sorry for you and even become more a friend not a lover. Bob understood this and kept pushing forward. So at the end of 30 days I sent in my "ringer." She is a friend of mine but super hot. Not an 8 but a 10 1/2 All we did was send her into the same coffee shop that Bob was hanging out in so that they could bump into each other in front of Mary. The look on Mary's face when these two embraced was priceless!

Mary looked as if she had just seen a ghost. There was Bob embracing with this "hot" woman in a way she have never seen before. To be fair...I didn't know if Mary was getting attracted to Bob or if she felt her "friendship" being threatened. This could of easily backfired but Bob was willing to take the shot. Mary asked about the woman. All I told Bob was to say this, "That was my past coming back to haunt me." That was it. Mary was blown away. When another woman signs off on a man it's a done deal.

Breaking out the Friend Zone

The next couple of weeks I told Bob to stop spending so much time with Mary. Mary of course got frustrated and finally cracked. She started treating Bob more like a guy who she wanted to date then a best friend. Bob was in shock....it worked. However.... a strange feeling came over Bob. His confidence was through the roof like never before in his entire life. The experience itself changed Bob to the point where he figured out Mary had been stopping him from living his life.

In the end it wasn't Mary who he wanted so badly to get...it was his self confidence. It's been awhile since I have spoken to Bob. So I sent him an email the other day and it appears he is dating someone and it isn't Mary.

Way to go Bob!

Breaking out the Friend Zone
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Curmudgeon
    I liked the ending, since it was realistic. Bob *does not* get Mary, but gets something more important.

    Rule Of "The Friendzone": Ask yourself this question: Is there something non sexual that would appeal to you (the man) about her? A good question is: is this someone you could do (a) business (deal) with?

    If the answer is yes, then maintain the friendship.

    If the answer is no, then politely exit.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Makes sense! Thank for the comment man!

    • There's no such thing as the "Friendzone"

    • Curmudgeon

      @Throwaway5345 I am taking the concept as defined. You may find the concept to be a hoax, but it still *exists* as a concept. After all, there are no Unicorns, but we all understand the concept of a horse like creature with one horn.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Cynicaldreamer
    Huh... interesting.

    So coach, does the same concept apply for a female? Or are things different towards guy friends?
    I would love to see or hear a female version of this mytake as well for us females that get stuck in the friendzone.
    Is this still revelant?
    • That is a good question. Women and Men are different when it comes to social proof. I am not sure if this scenario would ping pong the right emotions in a man to stir up attraction!

      Will have to think about that one!

    • Ah, I thought as much. While this might work for a female, the same concept might not work for men.

      Not even going to lie, if you ever make a female version of this, I'll be the first to read it (and probably try to apply it! LOL)

    • We don't get a lot of women looking for help in this area. We would need to do a bunch of testing to see what works and what doesn't!

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

712
  • SydneySentinel
    Is the "send in the hottie" move just a test to see if Mary actually likes him or not? What if Mary was like, "Dude, high five for landing that one" or something? What's the next step if Mary doesn't actually like him?

    Maybe "Bob" was dating someone else because he realized he actually deserved better than "Mary".
    • The next step for Bob after something like that could be many different things. Bob now has his self confidence back and could figure out that Mary isn't really the one but the one that is holding him back.

      He could also finally know that Mary just isn't into him that way and can make a decision to remain friends or let that friendship go!

      He could also start asking Mary better questions like "hey do you have any girlfriends that would be interested in me" I mean what are friends for right? Before he couldn't do that because he was hanging around hoping and praying Mary would just magically fall for him someday!

  • LoU_Hades
    I can remember the advice of my first girl I slept with "you are doing everything right but don't be funny and don't laugh when your hand is in my panties". I think this was the best advice I ever got in matter of sexual needs of women.
  • Creepazoid
    Wow what a great story! good jub out being out there and changing lives. things like this is very important. your type of work is equivalent to that of a doctor or psychologist helping others and sending them in the direction of a quality life - much respect and keep up the good work
    • Positive manipulation is making a comeback! LOL

    • Creepazoid

      lol was reading the comments was this a fictional story?

    • We have pulled this off quite a few times but for the most part I had to spice it up bit! What we do isn't this glamorous! LOL

    • Show All
  • Bluemax
    There is another way out of the friend zone.

    There are inevitably cases where no amount of hitting the gym, no number of hot women hugging you, no amount of confidence, is going to arouse chemistry in the woman (I say woman because usually it's guys in the friend zone). There's nothing wrong with this. It simply is.

    In such cases, I have a sure fire way to leave the friend zone, if you find that it hurts too much (and there's nothing wrong with that, either). You wish this person a wonderful life and all the happiness they deserve... and you walk away. I'm tellin' ya, it works EVERY TIME!

    Or, if it doesn't hurt to remain their friend, you just remain friends and enjoy the friendship. That works every time, too!
    • Bluemax

      Oh, I almost forgot! Insert obligatory remark about how the friend zone doesn't exist!

    • Thanks for the comments!

  • confusedrepeatedly
    Wow interesting but well seems mean almost I understand why you can't just confess your feelings but still dude making your girl jealous is one way of getting her attention but still not cool man not cool happy it worked but if there's another way try it if she's so perfect there had to be another way but I'm happy this worked
    • Hey thanks for the comments!

    • Ofc but like dude I still think it's wrong hope this was fictional sadly I dont think it was

    • Okay man, thanks for the opinion! Much appreciated!

  • Nades
    My man that really brought a tear to my eye because it just resembles me. I always approach women and in the beginning I felt like I NEEDED A GIRLFRIEND IMMEDIATELY. As I began approaching more and more women, I started to realize how good it felt. I was getting rejected and accepted but in the end neither of those really made me happy. It was the confidence I never had ever in my life. It was the moment I started evolving into an extrovert. That really made me happy and it made me realize that approaching people and talking to everyone around me really brought my confidence up. Knowing that I can do this on a daily basis without even thinking makes me proud. It wasn’t the girl I needed. It was the thrill in approaching and talking to people.
  • Im sick of the friend zone. It sucks, its lonely, its like a cold dark basement.
  • itsthatgurl
    Oh shit wow what a spin! I was afraid of you saying he was gonna use another girl to make him jealous because usually that just ends up a string us away and leaving us heartbroken.
  • why_am_i_here
    This really made me smile. I really need some self confidence of my own. cutting my hair, working out, and changing up my look seem like a good place to start!
  • genericname85
    long take short: don't be friends if that's not what you wanna be XD
  • Gottabsavagee
    Wow pretty interesting. I enjoyed reading a story for yhe first time!
  • kwaza
    I love a girl, I want her to be my lover but she kept me in a friend zone. And now I want to break out of the friend zone? I damn love her, moving on is so difficult to me, I need help.
  • sersss
    good story, sort of classics... Great that it helped.
  • SexyAshh
    Very nice fictional story.
  • lernulo
    Nice history.
    Is it real? Or is it just a metaphor?
    • when a woman says she sees you as just a friend, it means you are not good enough for her.
      you never see rich and handsome people get friendzoned, if so very very rarely.
      she is just looking for someone better.

    • We have pulled this off quite a few times! As for the story it's a bit fictional because what we do isn't as glamorous lol.

  • Wowgirl30q
    @coachTanthony good job I liked it
    • Hey thanks!

    • Wowgirl30q

      @coachTanthony why are some people saying that I should not do the charm school mytake? I've over come shyness and I'm a fucking darling...

    • Wowgirl30q

      "Too Much" would never be treated like this😂

    • Show All
  • shimmeryns
    I really enjoyed this story!
  • DarthBeefcake
    Way to go Bob!
  • Anonymous
    Men need to quit being so desperate and foreword with women. If a women wants you she will make it known. The reason guys keep getting rejecting is cause they are desperate and go for women who clearly don’t have initial high interest in them
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