BREAKDOWN: The Friend Zone

[coachTanthony]

THE FRIEND ZONE refers to a situation where one person in a friendship wants to become more than friends with the other person, while the other person sees them only as a friend. The friend zone can also be a psychological place in which you put yourself when you behave like a friend with the person you like, because you don't have the courage to behave otherwise. If you are afraid of showing romantic interest then they only have one choice and that is to see you as just a friend.

If you find yourself in the friend zone and want to try to move beyond it, there are a few things you can try.

Communicate openly and honestly: Talk to the person about how you feel and let them know that you are interested in being more than just friends. It's important to be respectful and understanding if they don't feel the same way. You will then need to make the decision to move on or continue a friendship with them.

Show interest in their life: Spend time with the person and show interest in their passions and hobbies. By building a deeper connection with them, you may be able to change the nature of your relationship. Instead of just being available when your friend wants to hang out, try taking the initiative to make plans. This can show that you are interested in spending more time together and that you value the relationship.

Take some space: If the person doesn't feel the same way about you, it may be helpful to give them some space and focus on your own life for a while. This can give you both time to think about your feelings and whether a different kind of relationship is possible. It's very difficult to maintain a friendship once feelings are involved so don't feel bad for walking away. The more time you spend with them is less time you'll have to find someone that is right for you. Get out there and meet some new people. Never put all your eggs in on basket.

It's important to remember that you can't force someone to have romantic feelings for you. If the person doesn't see you in that way, it's important to respect their feelings and move on.

In conclusion, it's important to consider whether it's really a good idea to try to move beyond the friendship. Sometimes, maintaining a strong friendship can be more fulfilling and rewarding than trying to pursue a romantic relationship. You never know what great friends they have that might be a good romantic fit for you.

Are you stuck in the Friend zone? Let me know below.

[Chazmatazz269]

I disagree with your definition of “friend zone”. Aside from the blatant misnomer, the friend zone has almost nothing in common with true friendship. It doesn’t start there or end there, ever. This is because there is an overwhelming power imbalance between two people. Good people don’t maintain “friendships” like that because it’s impossible for one person to not get more out of the relationship than the other. The friend zone is always maintained by selfish people who are all too happy to take advantage of someone, no exceptions. Those people would never treat a true friend the way they treat someone in the friend zone.
I generally strongly dislike the way young people destroy language, but i would accept “the simp zone” taking the place of “the friend zone”. It would give people a better understanding of what’s actually going on in that specific social dynamic.

[coachTanthony]

You're not the first to disagree with me. Thanks for the comments and insight.

[Blackmoonsns]

Number one the friend zone is a punk position a woman will have a man friend zone because he provides emotional and financial stimulation he's there to fix her problems be her white night and provide her gifts and resources without ever the intention of having any kind of sexual relationship to this dude it's a parasite move. I would rather be the alpha seed then bata need

[coachTanthony]

That is one example for sure.

[DancingQueen16]

I've never been friend zoned but I did friend zone someone a few years ago because he told me that he like liked me but I just didn't feel that way about him so I told him I'd rather just stay friends plus I had a crush on his best friend who was also my friend but we're good and still best friends now

[cheetocandle]

Why do so many men put up with it would be my question.

[coachTanthony]

They don't have the courage to begin with and hope down the road it will magically appear.

[cheetocandle]

weak ass men. do better.

[Guy13]

To me, the Friendzone is a construct made up for the Western World because their sensitivities are off the charts. It is actually the F🖕U ZONE and if you are placed there then it is also the “not getting F Zone”.
She don’t want to have anything to do with you but doesn’t want you stalking her or whatever thing that people there do.

[CA4444]

To me the men I see as friends have a lot of qualities I just couldn’t see myself in a relationship with them and that’s unlikely to change regardless of their behavior, or there would need to be a big shift in either them, me or the situation. But you never know I guess

[coachTanthony]

Are they you're friends or are they just waiting for a shot? If you offered to sleep with them would they say yes? No relationship just sex?

[CA4444]

Well yeah they always wanted sex and I was always saying no… so usually that doesn’t last, I do have one good friend I feel like our friendship is ‘above’ thsi dynamic but I’m not sure tbh I think he’s just very stubborn it’s been 6 years he thinks I may give in to him one day

[coachTanthony]

I think in order for men and women to be friends there can't be any attraction. If there is you have to wonder if they are just hanging around, even for years waiting for that one drunken phone call.

[blueonblack22]

Attraction isn’t a choice but respect is.

The thing that most people (particularly women) don’t get about the friéndzone is that men are really angry about not being respected. It’s not about losing romance/sex but the feeling of being exploited for someone else’s ends.

Straight men do NOT go out of their way to approach women just to be friends. They could be borderline curious or have a huge crush. But no sane man goes around looking for women to “just be friends”. Reason being is aggressive women have much less to offer men in “friendships” than vice versa.

[Lookingforthetruth]

2 and 3 are worthless. The friendzone guy already doing 2 as for number 3, women know within the first couple seconds if they find you physically attractive and want to have sex with you. The only way this friendzone relations changes is if her looks take a tanker, you glow up, both or you improve your finances/status (which u can do by going out with a much better attractive woman).

To explain that last point, women are hypergamous. She sees you can get a better looking girl than her and she will perceive you at said girl's level and better than her. This compounded with envy/insecurities and wanting to prove she is that girl's level will make her try to chase you for relationship/sex.

[exitseven]

This is a good MyTake. I really do not believe in the Friend Zone but I think your suggestions make sense. Communication is important but that is true in all relationships.

[coachTanthony]

Thanks I appreciate that.

[msc545]

No man ever moves out of the friend zone except by leaving altogether. The is no path from the friend zone to the lover/romance zone.

[coachTanthony]

Well at least use your brain on the way out and ask her if she knows anyone that might want a bad ass like yourself. So many men whimper off into the sunset instead of exhausting every opportunity.

[Equi2ube]

BS, I've gotten laid tons of times from the friend zone.

[msc545]

@Equi2ube sure you have. BS

[genericname85]

i've been there. and the only "real" way out of it for me seems to be: stop being friends. nobody forces you to be friends with someone you love. just ditch that "friend" in order to keep yourself sane.

[LegendaryDater]

Guess this is why you are the Influencer and I'm not. I'll get there. Good article.

[coachTanthony]

I like what you are putting out. And you just got here man lol It takes time.

[HuskyJ]

Well that's relationships. Anyone worth anything will first be a friend and only proceed if they want to marry/be 'the one and only' - which is the most important decision in life so needs real, enduring feelings, commitment, effort, the 'and if I get sick or fat' etc. It is about pregnancy, joy - not about fun.

[WTFdivorce]

The friend zone is only a thing if you stick around and submit to it. Why men or women do this is beyond me. Move on.

[legalboxers]

friendzone has its own zip code and is an island on its own. with FREE WIFI!

[melanieeeB]

That's a really great explanation and advice 🙏🏼

[coachTanthony]

Thank you! Happy New Year.

[melanieeeB]

Thanks, Happy new year for you two 🙏🏼

[Justneedtokno]

It’s just a certain category that people place on other people. One party doesn’t feel like they are attracted, the way the other party feels this way.

[tonamimargaux]

It sucks when you still got feelings for them

[coachTanthony]

Yes and that is usually when the friendship is toast.

[Anonymous]

Sounds juvenile, coach. Is it true people my age still act this way?

[strateguy632]

nope, try for romance

[FatDikEng]

Rape is still an opinion, just saying