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Sharing your true feelings with someone you like, is it a good or bad thing to do?

Feelings have you like - bleh? - me too.

I have recently just spent six months speaking to a guy that I met through a sport. He had an immediate affect on me when he first arrived, and I liked him instantly. Long story short we began speaking and saw each other every now and then. Everyone told me that if a guy didn't care he woudlnt speak to you everyday and be so nice.. I began to have hope, which is the worst thing I couldve done for myself. I ended up revealing my true feelings to him after 4 moths of speaking and liking him. He didn't turn me down, but he also didn't say he liked me back, so I still had a false sense of hope.

False hope is the best and worst thing.

Now 6 months down the line he is together with someone else, and my heart is a little bit sad because deep down inside I thought that the hope I had inside was right and that one day he would turn around and say he was ready - but i was naive.

So, my take on whether saying being honest and saying how you feel is a good thing or not..

Being honest with someone is possibly the best thing you can do for yourself - you feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can be you and not pretend in the friendship/relationship you have developed with someone anymore. They can aslo be a bit more sensitive to you and what they say and do in front of you (if they decent humans) if you continue to be just friends after it all. I took the courage and said how i felt but still got hurt and stuffed around.. That was because I didn't get a defnite answer - when you puting it all out there, ask them back, find out exactly how they feel, and if they haven't been 100% foward chances are they stuffing you around and waiting for someone better, like what happened to me - I was just the attention he needed to pass the time.

I was that girl waiting around for someone who was just there for who knows what.

Take the chance, it will either end in him saying its not mutual, him saying he likes you or him saying he doesn't know. Either way, you will have far more clarity. And take my word for it - false hope is only temporary happiness, dont get stuffed around, if he/she isn't prepared to be genuine and become as serious as you are about what you want from the relationship , they aren't the right ones.

You deserve the right person, dont waste your time on people who aren't right for you.

Say how you feel - get clarity - move on. Lifes too short for shitty people.

This may sound strange, but seeing the person you like/love move on and be with someone else after messing you around is possibly the biggest turnoff. Be strong and do what is best for your heart and the biggest lesson I've learnt is to trust actions not words.

(This refers to both boys and girls - I was just writing from a females perspective obviously. This is for people in general)

Sharing your true feelings with someone you like, is it a good or bad thing to do?

Sharing your true feelings with someone you like, is it a good or bad thing to do?
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  • Spiorad_Aisce

    Good take - It covers a lot of my beliefs about feelings within friendship.
    (1) It is possible to have a mixed gender ( for simplistic terms ) friendship without romantic feelings so enjoy it if you have one, enjoy it.
    (2) If romantic feelings, broach the subject and demand clarity.
    (2a) Feelings mutual - Great, go for it
    (2b) Feelings not mutual, discuss implications which are
    (3) Friendzone but this will only work if crushee says no chance of a relationship and crusher agrees to bury feelings
    (4) Don't let this happen
    (4a) Crushee cruelly rejects crusher
    (4b) Crushee says not now, you never know maybe later (if feelings aren't there at start, unlikely to grow overnight 6 months from now)
    (4c) Crusher agrees to friendzone thinking if I hang in there, they will change their mind
    (4d) Crushee too nice to tell crusher no so leaves it all up in the air
    Points (4b) to (4d) will probably lead to upset and hurt with probably quite a painful separation.
    My advice if it isn't (2a) or (3) split now, nothing worse than false hope and further pain.