The reason why guys get “friend zoned” is because they give way too much. There is no challenge in the relationship. Women like men who are masculine---not necessarily Alpha males, but are strong and independent---the man who doesn’t need to hear back from his girl immediately when he texts her, or needs her to comment on every Facebook status update.
Women get bored with it easily because of their natural nature to be complex. The guy who: replies back to every text message she sends him even when he is in a meeting, picks up the phone immediately even when he is in the shower, texts her first even though he is very busy with errands, that guy is going to get friend zoned.
Why? Because women like “independent” men and you are not showing her you are independent.
She doesn’t know you are in: a meeting, the shower, driving, etc. She only knows she wants your attention. That is a good thing. That means you are not “friend zoned.” If the girl gets upset that you didn’t reply to her right away, that is probably the girl you don’t want in your life. She wants you to be your lap dog, but at least even in that case you won’t be “friend zoned”.
If she texts you when you are in the shower, let her wait until you are done. That anticipation makes her think (in some cases, worry). “Why isn’t he getting back to me?” “Did I do something wrong?” “I hope he is okay.” You want her to worry because that is an instinct of a loved one.
Here are a few approaches you can avoid the “Friend Zone”:
1. Sexual Attraction
You have to have other people besides the one you want to be physically attractive to you. Don’t be discouraged if your opinion on your looks is low. That’s not what makes people sexually attracted to one another. A great example of this would be, Howard Stern. He is not particularly handsome in any means, but he has several other characteristics that he has going for him. Some people find him funny, he has projects that he works on that turned into great careers, independent, and has good hygiene. Even though stern prefers the shaggy look, he still has good hygiene.
You don’t need anybody, but yourself. Understand that you like people and you want to be around them because that is human nature, but don’t start becoming a follower instead of a leader, or just an independent.
3. Responsible
Yes, there is a time when people have to grow up. Taking on responsibility is apart of life, and girls tend to think of the future more often then guys do because most women would like to have children some day. Girls like to know that he potentially one day will be able to take care of himself and a family, even if it never ends up that way. Girls just like to daydream/think about it.
4. Live
Live your life as if that person wasn’t there. Whether it is going to school, working, having a dream, or just keeping busy on a regular basis. Again, girls will be “friends” with a guy who doesn’t do any of these things, but she won’t be attracted to him in that special way if he doesn’t. As I said earlier in this article, a girl wants to be a partner, a lover, not everything. She doesn’t want to be: your goal, your job, your muse, your sunrise and sunset. It sounds beautiful when said, or written, but it is not reality.
5. Flirt
You have to not only talk to the girl you like, but flirt with her. Flirting is key in not getting friend zoned. There is a big difference between just talking and flirting because of the intimacy that is involved in it.
This is a general article on how to avoid the Friend Zone, and it will work in majority of cases. It won’t work on the girl that will only date “rich” guys, or the girl who wants to be waited on hand and foot. It will work on the everyday girl that most guys seem to crush on.
Most of this advice can even work for the ladies who want to avoid the “friend zone” as well. For instance, the “Independence” section and the “Sexual Attraction” section can be easily applied to their own situations.
Women get bored with it easily because of their natural nature to be complex. The guy who: replies back to every text message she sends him even when he is in a meeting, picks up the phone immediately even when he is in the shower, texts her first even though he is very busy with errands, that guy is going to get friend zoned.
Why? Because women like “independent” men and you are not showing her you are independent.
She doesn’t know you are in: a meeting, the shower, driving, etc. She only knows she wants your attention. That is a good thing. That means you are not “friend zoned.” If the girl gets upset that you didn’t reply to her right away, that is probably the girl you don’t want in your life. She wants you to be your lap dog, but at least even in that case you won’t be “friend zoned”.
If she texts you when you are in the shower, let her wait until you are done. That anticipation makes her think (in some cases, worry). “Why isn’t he getting back to me?” “Did I do something wrong?” “I hope he is okay.” You want her to worry because that is an instinct of a loved one.
Here are a few approaches you can avoid the “Friend Zone”:
1. Sexual Attraction
You have to have other people besides the one you want to be physically attractive to you. Don’t be discouraged if your opinion on your looks is low. That’s not what makes people sexually attracted to one another. A great example of this would be, Howard Stern. He is not particularly handsome in any means, but he has several other characteristics that he has going for him. Some people find him funny, he has projects that he works on that turned into great careers, independent, and has good hygiene. Even though stern prefers the shaggy look, he still has good hygiene.
- Hygiene. This is very important. A girl will be a friend of a guy who has bad hygiene, but most likely won’t go to bed with him, and that is the entire point of getting out of the friend zone. Plus, it is not that hard to take a shower in the morning, brush your teeth, and put on some clean cloths. This is a very simple change to make for the person you want to be with.
- Personality. This is very important. Guys who are down on themselves too much will be friend zoned. Mainly, because the point of a relationship is to make each other feel good and if you are only sulking you are not giving anything to the relationship.
Also, you want to make other people attracted to you. If you stimulate peoples’ minds you will through interesting topics people will find you interesting. Interesting, is an attractive quality. In can be about anything: Politics, Economy, Law, Art, Video Games, History, Business, Electronics, Make-Up, Film, Music, Current Events, How to make a great sandwich etc. You just have to have a passion about anything, or something you know a lot about/like to talk about.
- Laughter. You don’t have to be Russell Peters, but knowing when to insert a funny quip is perfect. Even if it is not that funny, you can come off as “endearing” it is an attractive quality to have. You can even copy comedians if you give them their credit. For instance, you can say, “I love Russell Peters....” and then proceed to mimic his monologues. Mimicking can be funny when done right. Don’t pick on anyone because then you just come off as ninny. People don’t like ninnies.
- Respect. To have the respect of the people around is very sexy. You can gain respect by being: honest, hardworking, trustworthy, and loyal. Even if you don’t have a job, the fact that you are looking for one gains the respect of people around you.
"If you stimulate people's minds through interesting topics, people will find you interesting!"2. Independence
You don’t need anybody, but yourself. Understand that you like people and you want to be around them because that is human nature, but don’t start becoming a follower instead of a leader, or just an independent.
- Do not be clingy. Clinginess is a huge turn off. A relationship is about being a partnership, and when a one of the partners is clingy it is no longer a partnership. It now becomes “neediness”. No one wants to be “needed” they want to be “wanted”. For example, when a guy wants the news Droid/iPhone, he “wants” it, but he doesn’t need it to live (even though some guys may think they do). Girls want to be treated like that new Droid/iPhone. They don’t want to be needed like someone needs their mother, or best friend. Women don’t want to know a guy will be miserable without them because that would only make a girl feel guilty. No person wants to feel guilty in a relationship because they don’t want to tend to their lover like they are their mothers.
- Stick to your own beliefs. If you are an atheist, don’t let the person who believes in Buddha enforce their ideas on you. It’s okay, if the person opens your mind and you change your decision on your own because that is what makes sense to you, but don’t just start believing in Buddha because you think you are in love with a girl. It’s not attractive, not even to your love interest. It’s best just to understand her and not agree with her.
3. Responsible
Yes, there is a time when people have to grow up. Taking on responsibility is apart of life, and girls tend to think of the future more often then guys do because most women would like to have children some day. Girls like to know that he potentially one day will be able to take care of himself and a family, even if it never ends up that way. Girls just like to daydream/think about it.
"Be responsible. Girls like to know that he potentially one day will be able to take care of himself and a family."
4. Live
Live your life as if that person wasn’t there. Whether it is going to school, working, having a dream, or just keeping busy on a regular basis. Again, girls will be “friends” with a guy who doesn’t do any of these things, but she won’t be attracted to him in that special way if he doesn’t. As I said earlier in this article, a girl wants to be a partner, a lover, not everything. She doesn’t want to be: your goal, your job, your muse, your sunrise and sunset. It sounds beautiful when said, or written, but it is not reality.
5. Flirt
You have to not only talk to the girl you like, but flirt with her. Flirting is key in not getting friend zoned. There is a big difference between just talking and flirting because of the intimacy that is involved in it.
- Eye contact. Establishing eye contact has a personal connection that friends don’t share. The girl will understand what your eye contact means.
- Tease. Playful teasing is very intimate, and brings two people closer together.
- Touch. Touch her gently to stimulate the little hairs on a person’s body that makes us shiver. Tickling, holding hands, moving the hair out of her face, are all very carnal moves. You can even try to massage her shoulders/hands/feet if she is stressed. Rub lotion on her dry skin, or if you’re at a beach try to rub the sun block on her.
- Compliments. Point out something you love about her. If you find her: smart, pretty, funny, etc, just say it. Tell her that you like her, but don’t over do it.
This is a general article on how to avoid the Friend Zone, and it will work in majority of cases. It won’t work on the girl that will only date “rich” guys, or the girl who wants to be waited on hand and foot. It will work on the everyday girl that most guys seem to crush on.
Most of this advice can even work for the ladies who want to avoid the “friend zone” as well. For instance, the “Independence” section and the “Sexual Attraction” section can be easily applied to their own situations.
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