Double Texting: Desperation or Dedication?

Double Texting: Desperation or Dedication?

So you're texting someone you're interested in and it's going great, they reply quickly and seem pretty interested. They ask a question and you're excited to answer but quickly stop yourself because you realize you almost DOUBLE TEXTED!! But...wait. You were fine with the other person double texting. It made you feel heard and you could tell the person really wanted to talk to you. So what's the deal now? Why is it so taboo to double text or reply quickly??

Double Texting: Desperation or Dedication?

We like it when the other person does it. We feel validated.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's a bit ridiculous. I just don't understand why we're afraid to show someone we are approachable; we're so into them in that moment. Just as you want to feel validated and heard, so does the person on the other end of the conversation. Why is it desperate to carry on a fluid conversation with someone? How else can you tell if it's going anywhere? I mean if you're taking 20-30 min for every reply (and that may be a bit much) and I haven't talked to you before so I don't actually know if you're busy or a bad texter, then I'm gonna assume you just aren't interested in me or this conversation.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Double Texting: Desperation or Dedication?

#flirting #texting #doubletexting #desperate #newyork


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Do what you want, because if the person really likes you (more than just physical attraction), it'll be fine.

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  • For a moment I thought double texting was copy pasting the same text and reposting it to get the other person's attention LOL.

    Otherwise I don't necessarily see it as double texting. If I'm into someone, I try not to delay my replies because I'm forgetful by nature. I get bored and lose focus very quickly. If that's dedication, then it's dedication to my own self. I'd rather do that than leave someone hanging for hours or days without a reply, which is something that sometimes irritates me in other people.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • When i'm really into someone i see double texting as a good thing, even if i haven't replied as long as its not a "why you taking so long to reply text" and its just another question or telling me something they want to tell me or along those lines i have no issues with it, if i'm not really that into the person then i probably would see it as a little desperate, for me personally how i see a situation is usually based on how i feel about them.

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  • The issue is when you are speaking out of insecurity you look pathetic and... desparate! If someone isn't listening you need to get a grip. Dont harrass someone into responding.

    If your response is quick to theirs or you have a lot to say and you text a minute later a few texts, its not desparate. Its just reflexive. When something is reflexive people can tell and it comes off as natural and pleasant.

    If you think people can't tell the difference between desparate and natural you are just fooling yourself. They can, even via text.

    So check yoursel if you are feeling needy. If you are secure and just chatty, text away and wnjoy.

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What Guys Said 28

  • I put zero thought into how much I text someone. If I want to send a text I do. I don't text up a storm to someone who doesn't do the same. If they never respond or stop responding I simple stop texting them and don't initiate. If someone wants to text you they would, so if they're never texting I take the hint.

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  • I think all of those "rules" are stupid, the take a few days before calling, wait before responding to text, don't state how you actually feel, don't approach because you'll seem desperate etc. All of them sound idiotically stupid.

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    • Totally agree. Who the Hell made these idiotic rules? Just do your own thing.

    • @InTimoreDei Exactly, don't see how playing games and acting disinterested is suppose to make you appear interested in a person, sound rather counter intuitive.

  • Sounds just as stupid as the name for it. Seriously? There's a name for it and that name is "double texting"? How about we stop bloody caring what others think and just do what you want to do. If you're available... reply as fast as you want. If you're busy then get to it when you can. It's really that simple.

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  • Really, who cares. I never get people who purposefully wait to send a text.
    Not that much of a dealbreaker, but it speaks volumes about their character.

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  • Who cares? Text however much you want. If the other person likes you, they'll be happy you did. If they judge you negatively, you know you were on the wrong path.

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  • There are people dying in this world.. People being raped.. people being typed up, scalped and tortured to death as we speak.

    And some peoples biggest issue is 'Should i sent a text after i just sent one'. Just do fuckin whatever, As nicely as i can put this, Literally no-one on this fucking planet could give a litteral shit about 'double texting', Its not even a thing.. The only thing you should be worried about is completely ignoring or spamming them with hundreds of messages, Anything else is just normal human communication... Fml..

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  • @AwkwardEscapee Only guys double text since it's out of desperation. I get very worried, if I'm texting a girl, that she hates me if she doesn't immediately text back.

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  • I double text all the time.
    I'm not desperate. Far from it.
    Most of the time it's because I have a follow on thought, that I believe may benefit the conversation.
    Possibly I want to add a pause before a punch line.
    I also find that reading small texts easier than blocks of long texts.

    On immediate replies:
    I was chatting yesterday with a very nice girl for several hours. I was pretty much immediately replying. Why? I really wasn't doing anything else at the time. So, why not. Now, if I was busy, she would of course have to wait until I finished whatever I was doing.

    I would say it's desperate if every single text over the course of several day. I would say it's desperate if every text had double or tripple replies, that didn't really serve any purpose, other than to try to impress the other person.

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  • This is a myth, who the hell cares about double texting? I certainly don't. Send me 7 in a row, I won't care.

    (Says the guy who is single...)

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  • Rules are stupid in those cases. Seriously, if you want it, get it.

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  • Remember the other person is always just as insecure and unsure of themselves as you are, no matter how cool they act.

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  • The only people who care about double texting are the people who are shallow and play games.

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  • Positive, if anything. But it's also a bad sign that you would even care in my opinion.

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  • This sounds ridiculous. LOL Who gives a fuck, really?

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  • MHO, there is nothing wrong with double or more texting. You could have not put something in the previous text that you wanted to say or send a photo. The other person hasn't replied back yet there are a lot of reasons. There are too many people creating too many problems and not enough love to go around. Land of Confusion song, that is what this world really consist of. If people would actually love each-other instead of causing problems for each-other Our world would be a much more loving world.

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  • First they become desperate and then they become addict. LOL.

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  • Whats the best dating sites though, slightly of topic question, but im curious?

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  • It's better to just not text, it's harder to grasp people with text then a phone call.

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  • Fuck texting
    Grab the phone and talk

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  • That’s good take.

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  • these rules are silly

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  • dating is so complicated now.

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  • No, it is just your position in his mind.

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  • It depends. You gotta read the person

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    • I don;t care but some people turn it into a game. It's generally better to avoid the kind of person that cares

  • Crap I double texted, what happens now?

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  • women are stupid lol

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  • it did not work with her

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  • Good take of yours

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What Girls Said 14

  • There is nothing wrong w/double texting. The issue comes when you keep texting someone who isn't replying.

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  • Girl I'm out here centuple texting all my loved ones and they don't give a shit. If someone around me is restricting themselves to texting me only once until I answer, I'll drop their boring dry ass. Wth. RIDE OR DIE

    (and yes I had to look up centuple because my knowledge ended at quadruple and I wanted to dedicate myself to the exaggeration)

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  • My head is spinning from you going on too much. Imagine how the other one at the other end is feeling from this? Go slow and just text normally. Talk more in person with real conversation for more openness.

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  • I'd rather you just respond when you see the message instead of waiting to make it seem like you're not desperate. I don't have the patience to play those games, it's boring and pointless.

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  • Stop Overthinking about the Texting. As long as is Not putting you on a "No Push Button" Back Burner, Keep things Going and Flowing. Open Lines of Convo as you Know. xx

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  • wait wait... so we aren't supposed to double text...
    lemme check
    i just texted 7 times a row and he hasn't replied yet... hahhaaha but i like bothering people and i like getting bothered , so yeah !!

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  • im a talkative person by nature, so i usually double text either to express a follow on thought, i have a pretty strong /independent approach to people so most guys know its not out of desperation

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  • I'm talkative in texts. I even send (wait lemme check)... one long text with seven paragraphs in it. Hahahahaaa!

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  • you should just respond when it feels right!! even if it is quick or double texting

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  • Smh. First world problem much? I honestly don't mind either way, and besides, it's always nice to get two texts instead of one.

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  • Google "tyor forge watch" and thank me later. take it as a gift!

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  • This is dumb

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  • omg... just go with the flow of the text. This is ridiculous.

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  • All these rules are bloody exhausting. Don't reply right away, don't show him how you feel, don't have sex on a first date, now it's don't double text.
    I already have a job that requires me to follow the rules. I don't need that in my private life.

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    • I seem to like the, you only live once as far as we know so if you want to talk to someone, talk to them. if you want to leave them a "double text" (I've heard this term before and it was a few years ago at that) then do it.

      Do I recommend blowing up someones phone? no, but a second text to either explain things further or add a little more to the conversation is totally fine in my book.

      what I don't get is why people want to have full blown conversations over text to begin with. Wouldn't it be faster, easier to convey tone and meaning, and more personal to just call?

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    • I mean thats fair, I was going to include in my original statement that texting does have it's uses, and does allow for privacy.

      I feel though that the art of a phone call is slowly becoming a thing of the past with my generation. rarely have I ever had one of my friends call me on the phone. it's always through text, or messenger, or snapchat. Ease of use is a thing sure, but thats such a small reason.

    • don't have sex on the first date gets thrown in there as if it's just 'one of the others'

      LOL that one is good advice honey bun

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