Is it possible to be too formal with your crush?

[Anonymous]

Because I am normally a formal but still friendly person. My crush and I are both like this. I have only have one actual conversation with him and sent him an e-mail (which I told him I would do). The conversation went very well, but he hasn't answered my e-mail. It's been nine days. It wasn't a time-sensitive e-mail or anything, though.

So I'm worried that I came off as too formal in the e-mail and that he might think I just treat him like I would anyone else. So my question is: if a girl shows interest in a guy but is formal about it, will he feel like he isn't important to her? I REALLY like my crush, but do I need to be more casual with him (even though some of the formality comes from nerves)?

[amangat7927]

I wouldn't worry about the whole e-mail thing, but the whole formal thing might be a problem. Personally, when someone gets comfortable with me and they feel like they can say pretty much anything around me I like them that much more. When someone is always formal I feel as if we are just acquaintances, not even friends really. Also when someone starts being "different" (in your case, you are normally formal but different would be acting more formal) towards me, in a good way, I feel like they are attracted to me so that always helps. BUT, you don't want to be tooooo casual or you may seem like someone who isn't the same person around everyone.

My advice would be to just be yourself and you should be good, if he doesn't like you for you then you shouldn't be with him anyways.

[Asker]

You got it exactly right: I'm formal around just about everyone, but even more so toward my crush because I'm nervous and trying to impress him. Should I initiate contact again? Thanks for your help!

[amangat7927]

Yea I think you should initiate contact again, and just be how you were with him during your first conversation, but maybe you should try to make seem as if you're more comfortable with him by being a bit more casual.

And I don't know if you're nervous or whatever about contacting him again, but if you shouldn't be because if he is interested then he will be happy that you contacted him again and he will probably feel like you legitimately like him which might just make him more interested.

[salenkio]

I think the answer's pretty simple. He just doesn't email people often just to talk. Almost every guy I know would not email a girl, and either text, call or msg them on msn. It just doesn't make sense for them to use email just to talk. How long was your email and did you ask him anything important? have you guys talked aside from the email?

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer! Well, he knew what I was going to e-mail him about, since it was a continuation of the brief conversation we had had before. Perhaps he IS uncomfortable with e-mail... Do you think I should wait longer to see if he replies, then maybe ask if he wants to call me instead?

[salenkio]

Well have you guys been talking aside from the email which he didn't reply? I'm assuming it's been over 9 days now since he's replied you..so I wouldn't wait any longer. If you two aren't talking aside from that email, then I don't think it's a good sign. I can't say much as of now because I have no idea what kind of guy he is. Whether he's shy or outgoing..if he calls girls or talks to them on msn or prefers face to face conversations..

[bBop345]

Yeah, it would help because if you're relaxed about it, he'll feel more comfortable too. As always, just be yourself, and if he doesn't like it, you can find someone else.