Shy guys, help me out! Was he saying he's not interested?

Question

So... I see him at Lecture. He says hi again though didn't use my name like last time. He sits in back behind me... I did look from my eye corner and saw him look at me a few times. I was alone for first time ever. He looked at me when I walked by briefly. I came up to him and he almost backed into me. I then asked for some of his time... he said hang around and l couldn't so he said next time... I said text me. To which he said he didn't like to have girls numbers so as not to give wrong impression... But he said he could give me some time. I said why didn't you reply to my invite. He goes into this long spill about he's bad at that but getting better... Sometimes he just shows up. He put his hand on my shoulder as he said it... I then asked if my invites bothered him... I wouldn't send any... He didn't say no... But when I mentioned a play he thought a minute and said that wasn't his thing really... So I'm confused.. I can swear that was a reject but he was doing some stuff... Talked to me for longer than he said he could and stood pretty close... So... What the heck?

eugwara · Accepted Answer

Huh. Not quite sure about this.. If I want to get close to a girl, then I'll say yes to her invite, and look calm, but be seriously panicking inside about me doing something wrong to mess something up, but people react differently, so I think that he might have social anxiety. I have that and I'm shy so it kinda sucks. Shy guys don't make moves and tend to play defense, meaning that if someone makes a move, he'll be in a position to try to avoid it or if he is pursuing a relationship, agree. I was lucky enough to get both of my crushes' numbers because they asked me after I made an Instagram comment to try to talk to them a little, because I work better online than in person. It gives me time to formulate an answer, but at the same time, I can make a move if I think it will work. He seems either super, extremely shy to pursue a relationship or there's a chance that he doesn't like you and is afraid to say something. I've done the same thing, do my best to passively avoid someone, while trying to be nice by avoiding them, but being nice if I do have to associate with them

Also, asking a shy guy about his feelings puts us in the most difficult position ever. We're deathly afraid of revealing anything and we know that we can't avoid answering so we panic. My crush asked if I liked anyone and it would've been the best time to say that I like her, but I panicked and said I didn't like anyone.
I told her when she said that she would, "Pity the fool that marries me", so I said, "What if that fool is me?", so that's how I told her. She liked me back, but was in a bad position, and a relationship wouldn't work, so if I told her when she asked, it would've worked. Not telling her was my worst decision to date

Joker-Beast · Accepted Answer

Thats extreme shyness, the most common symptom is indecisiveness. He really likes you, but then he rejects your requests to him. I used to be like this with girls. All the girls I liked I turned them down. He is scared.

The best advice I can give you, is take it slow with him, do not push him into anything, it will force him to reject you. Once he gets to know you, and feels comfortable with you, I am sure he will come around.

I am afraid, extremely shy guys, do act very weird, sometimes I can't understand it myself.

becca123 · Accepted Answer

I'm afraid you need to listen to his words. He said he does not want girls' numbers so as not to give "the wring impression," meaning if he has YOUR number you could get the wrong impression. Sounds like he is encouraging the attention without really wanting to give anything back. Reeling you in with physical ploys but pushing you back with words.

If he wanted to be with you, he would gave gone to the play regardless or offered you an alternative. "Plays aren't my thing but there is this movie... . In my experience if a guy wants to get with you he will, especially if he knows you are interested as well. You gave him encouragement, ball is in his court now.

kaminalove · Accepted Answer

Seems like he is sending you mixed signals... I guess that he is nervous around you, try finding out his interests, so you can find a common ground and let him come to you, dont forget that he has to feel comfortable around you.

And as for the social media, I guess he isn't the type of guy that goes on it. Since you mentioned it, he might try to go on it more often.

As I said last time, you're gonna have to be patient with this guy... Start by hanging out with him at school (like lunch time) and see how it goes. Then, try outside communication (social media/text) then hanging out outside of school.

DarkHorse24 · Accepted Answer

Ugh, I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I'm crushing on this shy guy and he's always sending me mixed signals. I'm guessing that their shyness sorta creates this sheild around them and they're just scared to tell us how they feel. But I honestly don't know.

someguy78 · Answer

HE IS NERVOUS.
Guys do fumble it sometimes. Shy guys have a parallel world in their mind. In which you would be so close to him that he can behave so comfortable to you, but in real you two are not that close. He mixes up the real and his imaginary world.. he gets confused.. and so nervous, besides he might want to have a tough guy impression to you. It shows that by not catching chances to get close to you, he is sure about his this one wanting - he do not want to be your just some guy friend.
Belive me. He wants you, but he wants you as he has desired you.
So here's what you gotta do.
1. Don't loose hope, mind or interest.
2. Next time you interact with him be calm. let him Feel that he can be calm and candid too.
3. Let him feel that you know him and you don't mind how he is...
4, He put his hand on your shoulder. 100% he is into you.
5. He is shy right? So this is the thing thats gonna work the most. - Pet him on the shoulder when he seems not intersted in anything. As if you are sealing a bond of you two forever by that taping. See? he must know that even if he walks his confusing path, you are to follow it.

redbay19 · Answer

Honestly, you're over thinking it. over analyzing how he reacts to see if he likes you or not, you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what a glance means. Have faith that if he likes you he will come to you. If not it's not a loss but really more of a gain, when you find out someone isn't interested, you could waste years chasing to find out after all it wasn't what they really wanted. My advice is to be the same person you always are, have the confidence that people will naturally be drawn towards you, and if they aren't it's their problem. If all else fails just tell him "hey idiot! Pull your head out of your ass, I want to jump your bones!" Or whatever it is you want to do lol

Anonymous · Answer

Hey, so i'm a shy guy myself and i think this girl likes me. In all honesty she would always bump into me, bother me, tease me, make fun of me, and i liked it and it got me talking. (kinda really did piss me off for a bih though). I Will tell you this. She's been flirting with me for 3 years now and literally just now i got away from my shyness and started to flirt with her and do what she did to me haha. SO my advice is, tease him a bit or sit beside him during class. Keep bothering him and he will hopefully do something. Ask him to go to the mall or movies or even ask what he likes and do something he likes.

genuinlysensitive · Answer

Plays aren't his thing, perhaps a movie? Most of what you said leads me to believe he probably is interested, although the bit about not having a woman's number so as not to give the wrong impression is a bit odd. Overall I would say he is into you. Keep being social with him, and try to be patient, social situations can be stressful at first for shy guys :)

Anonymous · Answer

Wow!! That is completely confusing!!
He kind of comes across as selfish. He sounds interested... But extremely awkward... Has he ever mentioned anything he likes to do? Or do you know from other friends of his what he likes.. Maybe you can ask if he would go to something he is comfortable with.. Almost sounds like he has no idea how to communicate socially... I do remember you saying he has talke to other girls and I think you hung out with him before? Once?
Anyway.. It seems as though, something is missing in what your seeing, hearing or understanding about him.
Quite frankly... I would just ask... Do you like? Or not.. But I understand you don't want to be let down.. But all of this seems to be bothering you more than if you just simply asked him..

gray_sailor · Answer

I think what you are dealing with here is a shy guy. Read this article: You will find the answers you are looking for.

Amreet · Answer

I really like to help you but don't know this answer is enough for you or not.

There is 2 answer.
1. He like you but shy. AND he scared taking relationship status. That's why he sound just like want friend with you or he never been in relationship.

2. He is not interested in you that's why he back off, sent mixed signal.

DaniJ · Answer

It is a mixed signal, which means it's not a good sign. I've experienced this enough to see it coming from a mile away now. He is definitely showing signs of interest, but seems to be yanking your chain if he won't take your number. It's like he needs to be in control of the interaction, and he doesn't like that you've taken the lead. I could be wrong of course, but if I were you, you couldn't get me to go down that road again.

im911nc · Answer

He's probably had a lot of bad experiences with girls. He's probably hoping a girl will go out of her way for him.

I kind of am the same, girls have tried coming in contact with me, but with all the bad experiences I've had with girls, I just don't bother because I go back into my past and label it onto that current girl. and tell myself "Just another 1, or Over and Over again, Same-Same, not different from the others." Lol

If he's shy, not too talkative, he might still be bitter and hurt. If not that, then maybe a social anxiety towards women, or he could be Bi-sexual and mixed feelings with what he wants. I don't know exactly, but he's probably either going through those things, or he's not interested in you.

I'd like to believe he's shy because he's never really been put out of his comfort zone.

TakeMyHand · Answer

I know it doesn't seem smart and its probably more of a last resort but after it goes on to long you can just ask him like, am i bothering you in some way? Are you not interested? sometimes it works and its just a way to kind of weed through all of it and just get to the point , buuttt yeahh more of a last resort

Porte40 · Answer

Ok we have to set things straight.. GUYS shouldn't BE LIKE THIS , I know i'm like that but not so messed up... I'm at least trying new things and changing my game , sorry , but i mean why can't he just go with the flow or at least try something new out with you?

Anyway , it is clear that this guy doesn't know what he wants.. why would he hesitate so much with you.. its just not comprehendable..

You should know to back off from him because if he already seems unstable in his person , vulnerable in he's choices and words when speaking to you , that means if you somehow start dating him.. your relationship with him will be unstable and seem vulnerable and you will be the one left with a broken heart...

forgottenmonkey · Answer

This sounds really fishy, he is making physical contact but being shy about meeting up or having your number? Sounds like he likes someone else. You are probably just pretty and nice which is why he is looking and talking to you. But if he was really shy touching in anyway would freak him out more than anything else. Hell a number he could just ignore being in his phone.

Loudon · Answer

He sounds nervous (or interested in someone else) He might like the idea of you and likes to look at you but when in your presence reality sets in and he doesn't feel anything and if he tried it would be a lustfull feeling.. he can make small talk, has your number but hasn't made a move bc he's not interested in you enough to commit to anything :/

Feel free to crush on someone cuter and that shows alittle/a lot more interest ;)

Editor · Answer

It seems like he doesn't like using social media but knows you do, so he said he's getting better at it. That's probably why he doesn't deal with your invites -- he just doesn't deal with them. As for the play, he probably honestly doesn't like plays and doesn't see it as you do, as a way to spend time together. Ask to join him in something he likes to do and even a socially awkward guy should get the hint that you like him.

joey3tearz · Answer

Seems to me he views you as an aqquantince maybe a potential friend that's it

cluelessforlove · Answer

Seems like he is not into you or at least don't want a relationship. He doesn't want to be completely rude. I have been there and done that. I am a quiet guy but I still like to take initiative and be in charge... I just like a woman who follows my pace. It might take me time to decide but when I decide I go for it. I personally find it a turn off when girls chase me. What is find attractive is that she responds positively to my moves. But again, I have to be the one making the moves.

Keyspirits · Answer

My best guess is that he likes u. Shy guys are shy and they are always and mostly sheltered so they don't go out very much so doing things like that can be alil uncomfortable for them. That's why they are shy right? They don't like staring at them cuz they always have that feeling go eventho when people aren't even staring.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow that guy is a mess but I know of similar experiences in which the guy just wants to be friends without upsetting you. I think it's dumb what he did, but I can tell he was just trying to let you down easily. It sucks when guys do that because they convince you that they sort of like just before they turn you down, but if you move on I'm sure this guy will shape up during the time you spend with some other dude.

DawnWatcher · Answer

I have 2 possibilities. First, did he give you signs that he likes you?

When he said "He does not want to give the wrong impression" maybe he means he doesn't know how to reply to girls (He is shy, remember?) which could mean you still have a chance; otherwise, it just means rejection.

Keep it casual. He does give good signs (his hand on your shoulder).

MyBabyAngels · Answer

So i guess u liked the guy but if he's not trying then u should stop too. at least thats what i do, i give them hints n if they are " not catchin it" thats it. Am not the type to chase, n i dont expect to get chased either.

Shy guys, help me out! Was he saying he's not interested?

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