Signs he's a SHY Guy or just NOT interested?

[LoveJones1]

Guys, what are some sure signs that we girls should know that you are too shy to talk to us or just plainly not interested? And does age and experience has anything to do with it too?

[depthcharge]

Guys will constantly glance at you if they are interested, you may seen their lips moving as if they are getting remady to say something, or they may shift in their chair or casually move towards you without actually saying anything because they are too shy.

When they talk to you they may avoid your gaze because it is too intense for them and may act clumsy and mumble. (basically they lack enough confidence to approach you but are totally into you)

Of course there are guys who are actually just clumsy and awkward so its not 100% guaranteed. But if they are constantly looking at you (especially with their jaw open), thats a pretty sure indicator to go on

[LoveJones1]

Do you think the shy guy would even avoid the girl and act like she doesn't exist if he really likes her?

[depthcharge]

the difficult part is that the behavior you describe is consistent also with real avoidance. I would say that if you have no previous history in which he has a reason to hate you or dislike you, its more likely that he is simply too nervous to deal with his feelings of attraction to you. You can sort everything out by simply offering to hang out with him some time. Have a simple conversation. Walk home from school, study together something super simple and non-invasive. Maybe you can get a better read on him then. Or Even more simple. Just say hello to him once. That will show him he has a chance.

[LoveJones1]

You're totally right, I truly agree with you on that. I kept feeling as if he was too nervous to deal with his feelings pf attraction for me by avoiding the situation period. But, I've had one convo with him before and I thought maybe that'll help him to approach me to talk. But, people keep telling me that I have to have more than one convo with this shy guy in order to get him to open up about how he feels about me too..

[LoveJones1]

Plus I added him on social media but he hasn't accepted or declined and he's active on the book too.. What do you think of this scenario?

[depthcharge]

how did your conversation with him go?

[LoveJones1]

Well our only conversation was strictly on the basis of finding out each others names nothing more. I think thats why people keeping telling me to talk to him again and flirt more so that he can get the signal more that I like him and that it puts the ball in his court to see if he likes me back.. do you think that sounds about right to do?

[depthcharge]

yeah try to find some common thing to talk about no matter how simple is what id say. im no expert though.

[LoveJones1]

Right, I understand. But i do value your option because i want to know what the opposite sex thinks at times about certain situations. But i will conversate of something simple with flirting.. lol thanks

[busterhimen]

I'll usually try a friendly comment or two with a smile. So if I'm ignored or put off with no real response, I just assume they're not interested.

[JesseBrooks]

When I was too shy too approach, I would keep stealing glances, fidgeting, sweating a little, just overall really nervous. I think experienced guys wouldn't sit around and fidget, the unexperienced guys would probably be super stressed because they've probably been rejected tons in their lives and simply dont have the confidence to move. Rejection is different for shy guys, I would know. It cuts deeper every time, eventually they won't even try at all. Also too many shy guys get a big fat "Creeper" label just because they're quiet and awkward. Tons of factors gp into it.

[Cady_19]

Couldn't have said it better

[lucius46ad]

Well how are you going to get to know him with such a mean spirited attitude "man enough" thats pretty bigoted

[LoveJones1]

So sorry didn't mean to come off as a "mean spirited" person.. its been so fustrating that i really want to talk to this guy and dont know how he really feels about me in order for me to make a move to talk to him again. What do you think I should do?

[LaFemmeFatale]

Always assume the worst and you won't get disappointed.

[LoveJones1]

Huh whatbdo you mean?

[kinggeorge007]

It depends on the situation. You have to examine more closely. The guy would just ignore you if he's just not a friend or someone close with you. If he's shy and interested in you, he will be awkward but will not just ignore you. If you were a friend and he's not interested, the guy is a trouble. He won't show his awkwardness, but he'll be awkward af. You'll see that in my question. (I'll invite you)

[LoveJones1]

We spoke one time but after that he says hi to me nothing more.. i even friend requested and he hasn't accepted or declined.. so i dont know.. Wht do you think?

[kinggeorge007]

Well that could be anything. But I think he's ignoring. Even shy guys talks in social media. I'm a shy guy, an introvert but I'm pretty much socialise in social media than real life. But he has nothing not to hold a simple conversation even if he is not interested. May be he noticed that you're interest and he wasn't interested could be avoiding awkwardness that could happen.

I don't see anything to say that he interested and shy. He could be. But no enough data to come to any conclusion.

[LoveJones1]

Well people keep telling me I should talk to him more cause i can't just go off one conversation. I kept thinking he would ignore me because of awkwardness and shyness..

[LoveJones1]

Plus he talks about me to his friends because now one of his friends always talks to me.. long story

[kinggeorge007]

Is there a way to drop him a message directly without getting through the friend request process. Build up some chat through similar way. I'm pretty much sure he'll get along with it if the reason is shyness.

[LoveJones1]

I mean I would drop him a message but im afriad he might not want to reply to that if he can't respond to a ssimple friend request.. plus he's been holding on to the request for 3 months now.. i really dont know whats up with this guy for real.. so confusing

[kinggeorge007]

No friend request is different from a simple message. Some people get it seriously. Try some simple small talk type message. I'd it has gone 3 months and you people had no contact since then, it could get but hard to get along. But still you can go with remembering the first meet and ask how he's doing now after all these months and stuff, you know...

[LoveJones1]

Im shaky on messaging him period.. but its been 3 months since i sent the request but a month since i seen him.. and the last time i seen him he only said hi to me.. i really think that thiss guy is super shy or just dont like me.. i really dont know

[kinggeorge007]

Well there are super shy guys. Some of them get super shy when their crush is super sexy/hot or something like that and when they see them they get super nervous. Even they get super nervous about messaging thingy also. So how'd you rate yourself in appearance?

[LoveJones1]

I guess when i see him again i will initate conversation again and be more direct with my interest and to help him get more comfortable with me.. And I rate myself about a 7 not too sexy but pretty if you will lol.. others could rate me diff if they seen me in person based on their personal preference..

[kinggeorge007]

Well that's good to hear. You can always initiate the conversation. I didn't suggest you coz you said you are not comfortable with initiate things. But its a good move. You don't need to be so direct at first, you can observe him first while have some small talk. But if you don't get anything positive within fair amount of time, don't annoy him more. You saw what happened to me. So don't waste your and his time. See what's going on. If it goes well go with it, otherwise leave him. Its sad but if he's not interested what to to.

And about your appearance, I think some guys including me can get nervous if she's their crush, having some moves on him even if she's just above average and its totally fine.

I really hope your initiation will go very well. Just go smoothly with him. If he's interested you'll surely get to know soon.

[LoveJones1]

Yes, I totally agree to move on if nothing seems to progess.. I only talked to him one time and i can tell he was a bit interested but shy as much as i was.. but i was hoping after one convo he would feel comfortable to approach me and talk to me.. but people have told me i can't just go off one convo and that i needed to help this "shy guy" feel more comfortable with me enough by having another convo with more flirting to make it obvious and clear that i like him.. and i didn't want to come off as eager or desperate if im steady initiating conversation either.. its gets fustrating sometimes on what to do when you're not getting enough from the other person.. but
I really value your opinion so, what do you think?

[kinggeorge007]

Yeah I agree one convo isn't enough. But you need to feel when it's more than enough. Don't plan it before hand numerically. But you can feel it when the limit comes, right?

1. Just start a normal convo
2. While being on second, third convo be more flirty
3. When things going on you'll get to know what's his response and whether he's interested or not
4. Continue or drop depending on the results
5. Leave him to make the final move, He'll do it when time comes...

Good luck girl :)

[kinggeorge007]

Ask me anything you ever wanted, I'll reply with my best... Cheers!

[LoveJones1]

I dont think I've reached my limit yet.. but once i give him more flirty signs that i like him and it doesn't move him once the ball is in his court to express he likes me back then I'll move on.. but im hoping he feels the same which i feel he does to a certain extent.. but other than that I really appreciate all the help!! And i will for sure be reaching out to you if anything new happens with him.. fingers crossed

[kinggeorge007]

No you didn't, just once isn't a limit. Try it out and keep me informed how'd it went. I'd love to hear it went well... with best wishes...

[LoveJones1]

Lol, right. But, I just hope that I see him again cause its been awhile since I've seen him but when i do ill talk I'll surely let you know!!

[kinggeorge007]

Thanks for the MHO, how things went?

[Liam1200]

Blushing, struggling to get words out, fidgeting (playing with pen or watch etc.) playing with clothes e. g. Trying to look good. Using aftershave, glancing over at you but if he's shy he will look away if you look back. what signs is this guy showing you?

[LoveJones1]

Well i can say he avoids the situation, he even smiled when he spoke to me. I even talked him one time and he seemed interested by his body language and his pringing at his chin hair.. what do you think?

[jamesma87]

There's nothing wrong with asking a guy out. Usually with really shy guys, that's the best way to get into a relationship because they will take forever to ask you out and may never get around to it.

I have a pretty shy friend and all of his girlfriends have asked him out lol

[LoveJones1]

Smh I usually think that the guy should be man enough to ask the girl out if he really likes her..

[busterhimen]

So if he doesn't he is not a man. great logic

[busterhimen]

no wonder so many guys dont even bother trying
whats the point, so we can get insults like that?

[Sametheon]

@busterhimen Sociatal pressure that forces the men to put in all of the effort in every relationship, and put themselves out there, and be vulnerable, is the reason that MGTOW exists.

[LoveJones1]

@busterhimen. So sorry for stating that not "man enough" comment.. Its just i thought thaf if a guy really likes a girl he would make his way to talk to/ pursue her not ignore or avoid the situation in all.. basically being the dominating one if u will..

[Sametheon]

But according to women, isn't ignoring the other person and pretending not to like them some sort of flirting? This is where the hypocrisy finally begins to shine though, and it should become obvious that even those that argue for the destruction of traditional gender roles are mostly for them, just the ones that solely benefit women. Realizing that is the first step to realizing how self-centered most women truly are.

Don't worry, I've already checked my privilege.

[LoveJones1]

@Sametheon I totally agree with the first part of your response that some people women ignore the guy they like in order to get his attention because when they ignore us it gets our attention or makes us more intuitive.. but can you explain the second part of your comment? Not clearly understanding what you mean...

[Sametheon]

Sorry, do you mean the second part or the second half?

[LoveJones1]

@Sametheon yes bout the hyprocrisy and tradition of gender roles?

[Sametheon]

Most women want to destroy hypothetical 'gender oppression' contained within traditional gender riles, however many gender roles benefit women and opress men. However, they're never mentioned by women because in reality most women don't want equality, they want women to be in as high as position as possible.

[Sametheon]

Keep in mind the crucial word, most. Not all women, but in observation of society these are clear facts.

[busterhimen]

@Sametheon I think I'm heading in that direction, women are into jerks anyway

[jamesma87]

Don't go for shy guys then. Problem solved :)

[slatyb]

A shy guy who is interested will pay close attention to you but avoid eye contact for fear that you don't like him.

A guy who is not interested will not be interested and will pay you no special attention. So if you notice that the guy is always looking at you, he's interested.

[LoveJones1]

Will the guy even avoid the girl he likes out of shyness?

[robertglenn55]

Its really hard to tell, but I think with time you should know. He may be inexperienced, gay, asexual.. guys are weird sometimes. If you are outgoing and you just like him because of his looks, dont waste too much time on him.

[LoveJones1]

No im not outgoing im a bit shy myself.. I've talked to him one time he seemed interested by his body language.. i even tried to friend request but he hasn't accepted or declined yet.. and i believe he even told his friends about me because one of his friends is always talking to me.. what do you think?

[busterhimen]

He must not "be man enough" LOL

[robertglenn55]

Body language never lies I think. Maybe he never uses fb? Try asking for his number with an excuse, somehting from work or uni, and then start from there. The friend talk is one indicator too, I think he is quite interested, but maybe he is really shy, OR, he thinks you are "cooler" than him, which makes him feel kinda shaded. But try, id say things are more positive than negative

[LoveJones1]

I believe he uses his fb cause i saw that is friend count went up and he changed his profile pic.. so im assuming he saw the request.. I think does seem quite interested i kist can't get pass the fb issue.. but on the other hand what do you mean I may be "cooler"than him? Plus people tell me i should talk to him more and flirt more to see becuase i really dont do much in order to know if he does like me.. we only talked one time

[JesseBrooks]

What helped get over the anxiety of it all was blurting it out lol. It was the only thing I could do to break my paralysis sometimes. And if he really likes you, you will see his composure change. He will know, he might literally glow. This can be flipped eg replace he with she

[JesseBrooks]

From personal experience, seeing the girl i really really liked glow like that, it was intoxicating. Made my whole existence finally mean something lol :)

[robertglenn55]

Well one of my friends said he didn't accepted her crush request because he thought his fb and life in general was boring. so that may be a possibilty in his case. by cooler i meean you hang out with more people than him, you have more ease to make friends, you are funnier.. like more :popular"to say in a way. And well yea, with one time nothing happens haha, talk to him at least twice a week or 3 phone convos included.

[LoveJones1]

@JesseBrooks well to add to the whole glow thing.. I noticed he had a big smile when he spoke to me one time.. but im hoping to see his composure chamge when i talk to him again.. cause we only spoke one time though..

[LoveJones1]

Many people always tell me it could be a number of reasons why he didn't accept you. I kept thinking well if he likes me he would accept me but with him not doing that it makes me question if he likes me or not but i shouldn't base it off a friend request though.. plus i dont think im cooler than him he has all the friends.. so i will make sure i have another convo with him to really crack this shy guy open!! What are your thoughts?

[JesseBrooks]

If he reacts the way I think he will you'll definitely notice. WARNING he might pass out.

[JesseBrooks]

As to the friend request, he may be just hesitant to accept it. Not sure the reason there, he could be stressed you might reject him, and he's worried the aftermath might spill onto FB, further crushing his confidence? a lot of variables to be considered.

[LoveJones1]

@JesseBrooks LOL, no i wouldn't want him to pass out.. and yes a lot people state that there could numerous reasons he hasn't accepted or declined.. but when i saw him he still managed to say hi to me even though he's hesitant. Smh i dont know i gives him a pass cause he's so young.. Oh and he's 19 by the way.. lol

[JesseBrooks]

Yep, when I was 19 I was scared to death of talking to my crush. It was like trying to stare down a grizzly bear lol :) Whatever happens, I wish you the very best

[LoveJones1]

@JesseBrooks LOL i totally could imagine what you been through and what he could possibly be going through as well. Thanks for the encouragement and advice..

[Dineshasper]

If he is shy he will get tensed when you're around and if you come too close to him and if he likes you and if he is a shy guy he will move out of that place asap. And age also matters if he is a teen he will have more shyness than usual and trust me you would know if he don't like you.

[LoveJones1]

Yes he's 19.. and when I had one convo with him, he seemed to be interested.. i can tell by his body langauge and him pringing at his chin hair.. but after that he still doesn't seem to want to approach me and talk.. seems to be avoiding me in sense out of shyness.. i really dont know.. what do you think?

[BernieforLife16]

Blushing, sweating, stuttering, trying to hide from your eyes. Thats how I am with girls, big time shy guy.

[LoveJones1]

Would he even avoid the girl if he really likes her?

[BernieforLife16]

Possible if he's really nervous

[NoLivesMatter]

I am one of those shy guys you speak of and I will tell you it would be impossible to tell the difference between me being shy and me being not interested.

[YHL6965]

Try to test him on more "sensitive" subjects, making some references about more "intimate" stuff and see if he is nervous or reacts a bit weird.

[LoveJones1]

Yes, thats why people have told me that I needed to talk to him more and not just go off of one convo.. which i thought after one convo he would feel comfortable to approach me and talk.. what do u think?

[YHL6965]

It depends of the guy. Some might be interested but don't dare to show it. I'm that kind of guy. I've got to admit, it's kind of hard to know what's behind my head. If he is interested, I think he will be happy to see you and hold longer conversations.

[tyber1]

If he looks at you a lot or if he gets nervous around you then he is probably just shy.

[joe_c]

If you see him looking at you then that means he likes you but hasn't got the confidence to talk to you

[LoveJones1]

He really doesn't stare.. i think he talks about me to his friends because now one of his friends like me.. long story

[joe_c]

Hmm everyone expresses it in different ways try talk to him and if he comes back with weird responses he likes you

[LoveJones1]

Yea i only talked to him one time and he seemed interested because of his body language.. but ill talk to him again to see if i can get him to get use to me and not be so shy if thats the case...

[Mcqueen-26]

If he looks at you a lot or if he gets nervous around you then he is probably just shy.

[LoveJones1]

doesn't really look or stare a lot.. he seems to get nervous and avoid me all together.. what do u think?

[busterhimen]

well after reading what you said about shy guys I would avoid you also

[busterhimen]

who want to be insulted because they're shy stick to the loud mouth jerks

[Anonymous]

most girls ignore us anyway so what does it matter

[LoveJones1]

We ignore to try to get YOUR attention.. lol

[Opinion Owner]

Gee that works great

[LoveJones1]

Ikr its silly and never works..

[JesseBrooks]

Thats the cruel reality lol, a perpetual stalemate. :(

[Anonymous]

Experience sure has a lot to do with it but if he's really shy he may not talk much and look away and maybe even blush if he's interested

[Anonymous]

If he seems nervous around you, and as far as you know he's not actively looking for others he's most likely shy

[Somedanxe]

How old is he?

[LoveJones1]

Well he's19.. lol

[Somedanxe]

Wow ur 5 years older

[LoveJones1]

Lol yes, is that bad?

[Somedanxe]

It isn't