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Over the past 39 years, at least 25 women have found me guilty of sexually offending them, 4 of them (one was a "good looking" tall black lady) of sexually harassing them while working on the job (all 4 filed charges against me, and the charges of 3 of them resulted in my being separated from employment), and a 5th lady of sexually harassing her during a lunch break on the job. This 5th lady (an "extremely good looking" petite black lady) filed sexual harassment charges against another black male co-worker of mine that went to court of law, and she lost her case against him. I am a black man who craves to get married and I do not want to marry outside of my race. If a fitting black lady is interested in blessing me by allowing me the honored privilege to become her husband, I need her to approach me first because I am scared that I will offend her if I approach her. From the best that I can determine, I am not marriage material for any fitting black lady seeking a husband; so I ask that you pray that Jesus Christ will, unless it is against God's will, help me become marriage material for a fitting black lady who is seeking to get married. What to me is a fitting black lady? A black lady who is a non-smoking teetotaler who is what I call “sufficiently lean”, who knows that salvation to go to eternal paradise in Heaven is free, paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ when He died on the cross, and that only Jesus Christ can let me in eternal Heaven. I do not want a fat lady for a wife. I want a lady who can keep up with me when I walk down the street. I am 5’8” tall and weigh about 150 lbs.
It's not something you can generaliz to all guys and all girls and say "guys should do that asking" or "girls should do the asking". It's all a mater of who is going to be the more dominant partner in a relationship. The person with the more dominant personality will likely be the one to make the first move and ask the other out. Now when I say dominant I don't mean controlling, superior, or any of that crap. It's not about calling all the shots or anything like that. Just in general, a relationship needs one leader and one follower (again those terms have nothing to do with strength or weakness, just generalized personality types). Two people trying to lead will compete for dominance, two people trying to follow will never go anywhere.
So in summation, the person who does the asking (whether it's guy or girl) is decided by who has the more dominant personali.
What Techan said over a year ago is so accurate. Usually the one asking is the one who becomes the dominant person in the relationship. if you want to dominate your man and he's OK with that then more power to you. It's not impossible to ask a guy and be able to change roles back to him so he's dominant but it's really hard.
Women tend to like to control a man when they don't agree with what he's doing. When we ask a guy out, it starts the cycle of control and he tends to not be asserive in the rest of the relationship. Also, I think it can make a girl anxious and a guy lazy in the relationship. That's not cool as guys tend to already be less pulled naturally towards the deeper levels of relationship. He wll have even less motivation to deepen with you.
i think it is better for a girl to communicate her interest in a guy---clear signs like looking directly at him and smiling, making it easy for him to come over to talk to you, etc. If he's not making a move, I say move on bur you can also just tell him know you like himand would like to dte him if some time has passed or you are in a setting where you won't see him again and leave the ball in his court. be direct and don't put anything heavy into it then move on. If he doesn't ask you out then you don't want ot be with him. Even shy guys can like you enough to go beyond their comfort zone and you'll be thankful he did.
That is what the Sadie Hawkins dance is for!
But I admit after not getting asked out by guys I like, only to see them go out with some pretty blonde girl with a cheerleader body, I finally started asking guys out.
99% of the time I got shot down. Most guys thought I was weird and were like "did my friends put you up to this?".
It really bothers me when I guy doesn't have enough confidence to ask a girl out. If you flirt with them and create a comfortable atmosphere between the two of you and he still can't ask you out, that's pretty sad. Plus, if the guy does the asking, you know that he's really interested in you.
Opinion
13Opinion
It’s perfectly fine for a girl to initiate. Many guys would find it a nice reprieve from the usual initiator role. I get the sense that some girls worry that if they make the first move, they’ll be seen as slutty or desperate or something. That would never even occur to me. When I did online dating, on the rare occasion the girl asked me out, I liked it. It showed she was confident and direct about what she wants. And it’s good for the male ego. Guys don’t get hit on nearly as often as girls, so when a guy does get hit on, it feels like more of a compliment. It’s not like with girls, where getting hit on becomes so tiresome that they’d rather go to a gay bar and be left alone.
Sometimes when there’s a guy you sort of think might like you, but you can’t quite tell, he does like you and is just nervous about getting rejected. The guy might be unsure whether you like him and is worried he’s misread the whole situation and you’ll think he’s gross or creepy or something, especially if you’re friends and it might ruin the friendship. First kisses can play out similarly. If a guy doesn’t kiss a girl after a few dates, the girl starts to suspect the guy doesn’t like her. Again, this may be due to the guy’s fear that she’s not ready for it yet. No guy wants to get the cheek turn on an attempted first kiss. Not only does the guy have to judge whether the girl wants it, he also has to do it in the right setting, at a time and in a manner that feels natural. If you’re in front of a bunch of people you know, for instance, it would be extra embarrassing if his attempt failed. I always thought the car was a good place for a first kiss.
Even if you don’t initiate, you can help the process along with a little encouragement (guys are sometimes too dense to pick up on cues you may think are obvious). For instance, if you want a guy to ask you out and you’re talking about some hobby of yours, you could say something like, “Maybe I can teach you how to [insert hobby here] sometime.” Or, “Yeah, that sushi place sounds great. I’d love to try it.” Or if a guy looks like he’s thinking about kissing you, you could smile, make eye contact, glance at his lips, brush your hair out of your face, etc. Once I had a girl over for dinner/watching a game on TV. We were sitting next to each other on the couch, and I got to that awkward teenagers-at-the-movies-point where I wanted to put my arm around her in a natural way. When I started moving my arm back toward her, she sort of scooted a little closer and nudged my shoulder with her head. Once she did that, I was able to move forward with full confidence.
I suspect that, due to online dating, picking up strangers in person is less common now than it was at just about any other time in history. The hardest and most frustrating thing with guy-girl relationships is, at least speaking from the guy’s side, it can be all but impossible to tell if the girl likes you or is just being warm and friendly. I have found that when I really like a girl and am constantly analyzing details of interactions and behaviors to see if she likes me, that’s pretty much a guaranteed sign that she doesn’t like me. The girls I’ve gotten a lot of attention from without any effort are usually girls I have no interest in, at least initially. I guess it’s a chicken or the egg question. It’s human nature to want what you can’t have. While online dating sucks in a lot of ways, a major advantage is that both parties know they are there to explore a sexual and/or romantic relationship. There is no ambiguity about the nature of the relationship you’re pursuing.
Over the past 39 years, at least 25 women have found me guilty of sexually offending them, 4 of them (one was a "good looking" tall black lady) of sexually harassing them while working on the job (all 4 filed charges against me, and the charges of 3 of them resulted in my being separated from employment), and a 5th lady of sexually harassing her during a lunch break on the job. This 5th lady (an "extremely good looking" petite black lady) filed sexual harassment charges against another black male co-worker of mine that went to court of law, and she lost her case against him. I am a black man who craves to get married and I do not want to marry outside of my race. If a fitting black lady is interested in blessing me by allowing me the honored privilege to become her husband, I need her to approach me first because I am scared that I will offend her if I approach her. From the best that I can determine, I am not marriage material for any fitting black lady seeking a husband; so I ask that you pray that Jesus Christ will, unless it is against God's will, help me become marriage material for a fitting black lady who is seeking to get married. What to me is a fitting black lady? A black lady who is a non-smoking teetotaler who is what I call “sufficiently lean”, who knows that salvation to go to eternal paradise in Heaven is free, paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ when He died on the cross, and that only Jesus Christ can let me in eternal Heaven. I do not want a fat lady for a wife. I want a lady who can keep up with me when I walk down the street. I am 5’8” tall and weigh about 150 lbs.
I usually don't give answers this simple but I will this time. If you are a male and enjoy woman's company: ask her out. If you are a female and enjoy a man's company just ask him out as well because fate cannot choose your mate for you, you need to take the human being that YOU want to be with rather than listening to society and just accepting who and what you get. I find it strange that we live in a society that permits women and sometimes young girls to chase dozens of men and boys for one night stands, hook-ups, and flings, but when she asks him for a date she is being ''taboo''. Case and point is that sometimes societal taboos have nothing to do with morals and ethics and aren't really ''wrong''
When I was a Junior in High School, a girl who was a friend and a year ahead of me asked me to go to prom with her. I went and we had a good time as friends. When I was in college, a woman asked me to go to her spring formal and we had a good time. Sometimes, women like having a date and it doesn't have to be a romantic thing. If a woman extends an invitation for a social engagement, the man should be appreciative, thank her for asking so she is reassured that she was right in asking you and be a good companion. In my youth, people wrote thank you notes to their partner when invited to social events requiring a date/companion.
Any kind of relationship is a 50/50 split. Nothing is anybody's "job". If a guy asks a girl out, that means he likes her a lot. So if a girl likes a guy a lot, she should just ask him out. I've asked guys out before and they liked the fact that I made life that much easier by telling them how I felt, rather than waiting for them. Hope this helps.
Haha you think it's easy for guys to ask girls out too,just because it's "their job?" And from I hear,some guys like it when a girl asks them out.They seem bolder I guess.
Seriously,if you saw a super hot guy with a great personality would you just him pass by just because you think he should be initiating everything?By waiting for them to make the first move,you can miss out on a lot of potentially great catches!So no,it's far from being a bad thing.
Well the guy is supposed to be the "man." He's supposed to be ask. That's what's typical. It's what people are used to.
It could come off as unusual to tell your peers that she asked him out.
Girls get nervous, too. And if the guy is so "shy" that he can't ask, then the girl will think it's hopeless and give up.
Everyone is different, but I believe the guy should step up when it comes to that stuff.
A girl can ask the guy out. It's up to you to decide whether or not to. There is nothing wrong with it.
Some girls refuse to do it for whatever reason. But they still need to give the guy noticeable hints. The guy wants to minimize his chances of rejection. Remember, it takes two to tango.
Also, don't mislead the guy. Don't do anything that would give him the wrong impression.
I've never thought a girl would have to be desperate to ask out a guy. It just means they like him. But it should be the guy who asks the girl out. I know too many guys who have broken up with girlfriends because the girlfriends didn't think they were manly enough. So for ladies, I'd suggest that if you really like a guy but think he's too shy to ask you out, then go up to him and let him know that you like him, and let him ask you out.
To all the women who are saying it is the mans job because the is a 'manly' thing to do and it has traditionally been done by a man:
Please, feel free to cook, clean the house, and do my cloths for me.
I wish more girls would approach me because I've always been more on the shy side as it is. Why should it always be our job to do the hard part?
No its never a bad thing . it will let a guy know that your interested in him and may make it easyer for him later on.But ya the guy should be the one asking but I'm old and old fashion lol good luck Ray
I find it totally strange so many men are scared to ask, it's typically the man and if I have to outright ask him out, then he's not assertive and I'm not gonna want a follower in a man. Like most women, I want a man who leads.
I usually do the asking because I don't like waiting around for the guy to make an excuse to start a conversation or just grow a pair and ask me out :)
it's traditional that the male should ask. I never found it a bad thing for a girl to ask though, this is freedom! we do what we want I've asked this guy I like to go out with me and he's my current boyfriend now for a year and 5 months and counting :)
If a guy is to scared to ask you out and hands YOU the chore I don't think he's the one you want to be with anyway.
women want a confident guy, a protector. asking her out is one way to show you have confidence.
I want the guy to ask me so I know he's interested. Plus, I wouldn't like any guy that wouldn't approach me.
That's the only thing I don't like about girls. They make everything so complicated, and make big deal out of non-existing problems. If you like him just ask.. It's that simple.
guys > girls, but the other way is welcomed
i hate gender roles
f*** masculinity
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