I feel embarassed and ashamed of what turns me on?

[Anonymous]

I have an embarrassing thing that I like. I like when my fiancés farts. It turns me on and both just makes me laugh and makes me feel "close" to him. I've always been very embarrassed about it. He is my first love. He's kind of who I discovered myself on. He showed me what I do and don't like. And over the years I've discovered this and I'm not proud of it. I used to be very confused about it, and I thought we were close enough for me to discuss it with him about a year ago I told him about this thing and he laughed at me and taunted me asking if I like face sitting and playing with poop. I felt so embarrassed it took a lot for me to even tell him. Later on he stopped farting infront of me because he was afraid to turn me on. That angered me more because I felt more embarassed and uncomfortable. The act of farting doesn't always turn me on, sometimes I just think they're funny and like I said it makes me feel a sense of "closeness" like he trusts me. He himself isn't very ashamed to fart until I told him about the thing he didn't really like to after that. I ended up later on telling him I was joking because I couldn't handle how weird he was being. It took a long time for him to become normal again. He still will laugh about the time I told him that. I feel like ever since he made me feel bad about it this "thing" has become a bigger part of me. Like I'll obsess about it and I'll be mad because I'm constantly thinking I'm disgusting and that I have to hide myself. I find myself being weird and mad all the time. I'm so ashamed. If I could shut that part of me off I would. It's so embarrassing. I feel so embarassed with myself and even more around him I don't know what to do. Thinking back if is weird. And I don't know if he reacted the way he did because he was uncomfortable or embarassed himself because he's not into that. But I'm also afraid to bring it up again bc of how he made me feel and because he's only normal with me now bc he thought I was joking.

Updates

+1 y

I really don't know what to do anymore about myself or this

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+1 y

Serious replies only please

[Anonymous]

He is a jerk for laughing at you while you were opening up, though to be honest I can see how it might have amused him.

Anyway, there is never a reason to be embarrassed about the things you enjoy. If your partner finds it weird or wrong, that's his problem, not yours. Maybe you can find similar enjoyment without the embarrassment with someone else.

[Asker]

yeah I can see why he would too. But how does anyone ever feel okay with what I told him? It's something that's embarrassing that just doesn't fade. Something embarrassing for him probably too. I don't know how anyone could be comfortable near me

[Opinion Owner]

Trust me, I have seen things that are much much weirder.

When people say there is a kink or a fetish for every single thing under the sun, they aren't joking.

[Asker]

Lol I agree. I think more people are into scat and barf than what I'm into. But mine still lies up there on an uncomfortable subject for most

[Opinion Owner]

Unlucky for them, I would say!

I would fart all the more if it was me. Farting is hilarious to me (I love being childish I guess lol) and if my SO would actually appreciate it, or even get turned on by it, all the better! If only your guy was a bit more open minded.

[Asker]

Lol yeah. I posted before I told him on here about how to tell him. And someone exactly said "just means I'd feel more comfortable and not have to hold it in" which is what gave me the courage to tell him. But unfortunately I guess it's the opposite for him

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he hasn't realised how serious you were about it and is just laughing it off as if it were a joke. I dunno.

All I know is I'd be happy to have someone like you. Maybe you should tell him that xD

[Asker]

Lol I don't know... I feel if he thought I was serious he'd act weird and not do it infront of me at all anymore again.

But if i do muster up the courage to bring it up again I'll for sure tell him that lol

[Opinion Owner]

I guess if he isn't going to be "into it" at all, it best remain your little secret so that you can still enjoy it.

If I was in your situation I would find a play partner elsewhere though, he doesn't have to know :)

[Dim_121]

There is nothing wrong with it. You enjoy the closeness you feel to him when he lets down his hair so to speak. Though it is sad that he became so weird when you told him.

[Asker]

There's nothing wrong with it. But it's weird. How can anyone be comfortable around me knowing that

[Kellykelkelltik]

Congratulations, you're human. Boys fart. Girls fart. Roll with it baby.

[FakeName123]

img.memecdn.com/it-smelled-like-fart_o_609529.gif

[MakeShiftThug]

Paragraphs! Please, For the love of god!

[Asker]

Lol sorry.

[Dantheman101]

Love it