Is it depressing that I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend, nor have I had a proper date?

Question

...I'm starting to think it kinda is, eh :o? Also, fyi, I'm not ugly or fat or stupid or without a personality :P...and it hasn't really bothered me that I've never dated...but recently I started thinking...wow, I'm 18...damn. I should have had at least 3 bad relationships by now :P

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Um, that's a culture lie. You don't need to have had past relationships to be normal. Infact, you have lot going for you since you don't have that baggage. Infact, I would suggest you not seek a boyfriend as that's just going to get you sex. If you want a real realation ship keep you legs together until you get a commitment.

If you are famale, have a p*$$y then guys are interested. Most guys are just shy or inexperienced at initating a relationship with women. You have to learn to see their attempts and find ways to encourage them. Once you do you will have plenty of choices for dates. Even guys stuck on model material women would still sleep with most any female. So, don't let your self get used that way. If a guy stares at you he is not being weird he is just trying to think of a way or to meet you, smile, wink, wave at him. He is most likely just stuck in a decision about how to say hello. While you practice these skills don't turn away the ugly shy guys just think of it as practice that does not matter if you fail. Don't give out your number, just test it and see what it takes to get them to advance to the point that they can ask for your number or for a date. Then you can have a good time, or say sorry.. Either way you will be getting better at seeing when guys are interested. I assure you all guys are at some level interested in you becasue we all think about sex pretty much all the time. They may just be shy, unshure of them selves,or busy with something. Give it a little time and watch what happens. As a woman you are really the one who is in control. How you act will encourage or discourage guys to approach you.

Stop worrying aobut they guys you want cause its most likely the unexpected one that you might marry some day. Practice on all, then as you get comfortable you will learn to peak interest in the ones you want to meet so that you can get them to approach you. I would wisper a word of caution though, the fine ones you are lusting for may not be the right one(s) for you. Last word of advice, ask what you have to offer a relationship and not what the man will do for you. Live this way and you will find a real treat in store for you, I promise!

Pestilence · Accepted Answer

Sounds to me like you and your family are overanalyzing this. Not every develops at the same speed as everyone else. I was a late bloomer and didn't even start puberty until 16 or 17, so until then I still thought girls had cooties. It isn't the quantity of relationships that is important, in the end, but the quality! If it takes you until you're 30 to find the perfect guy for you, it will be worth the wait. Keep in mind that while you may be considered an "adult" by legal standards, you are not fully grown or developed yet. You likely have another decade before you'll finish doing that, and even then you'll continue to slowly adapt and adjust throughout life. I mention this because as you change, so will the ideals you'll compare your partner to. Spend time looking inside and figuring out who you are and what you really want and need in another person now, it will reward you later. My word on it. :]

Lizzie1990 · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, I was in the same situation last year, 18 and never had any guy attention let alone a date, kiss or boyfriend, didn't up getting my first kiss and date until just before my 19th boyfriend and my first boyfriend when I was 19. Just be glad you haven't had to put up with all the immature boyfriends other people your age have had to put up with.

As much as I hated being the only who hadn't had a guy, I can now see they not all that and having a boyfriend isn't always a good thing or a happy situation, especially in my case why I've had two short term relationships and am already happy being single again.

Pearl_Girl · Accepted Answer

Im 17 and I'm in the same situation as you :) ahhh sometimes its weird yes.. but then I think to myself and look at the guys I rejected... I just didn't like them at all! I had stupid VERY stupid dates when I was 14 and then nothing. I think its because I think I'm ugly sometimes(sometimes I think I'm beautiful lol) and I'm not confortable with my nose -even though people won't mind it!

i always look for the edgy guys like supermodels and actors or singers, or the best of the best you know! and I always get heart broken

MissUnderstoodx · Accepted Answer

most people usually don't have an offical date until they are 20 so don't worry. Having a date or having a boy friend are just lables. People always try and make others feel bad for not doing what everyone else is doing. The reason you havnt had a boyfriend yet is problably becasue you havnt met I guy that you like enought to date or even want to go out with. Once you find that guy that you will get your 1st date. There is no rush , becasue people that rush into end up having the worst 1st date ever.

Summerlovex3 · Accepted Answer

LOL if that's depressing I might as well jump off a bridge! I'm at my prime (21) & never had a boyfriend! lol. Don't stress it. I've learned when guys approach you & are really pushy, theyre just selfish & wanna hook up. A nice guy will come along just be patient, & in the meantime, find something to do that makes YOU happy! Something that will take your mind off boys! Plus, guys like girls with hobbies & their own lives :) GOOD LUCK!

myspacemybroke · Answer

Just about 17 and I'm relatively certain very few girls have ever spared me second glance, let alone be in a relationship with me. I'm not really bothered by it though, I think I have enough physiological issue to work through by myself before dragging them into a relationship with me. I wouldn't worry about it. You're still quite young, it's a good opportunity to get to know yourself better , and focus on other stuff besides a guy in your life. Also, don't ever think that you need a significant other or man in your life to be a complete person.

Anonymous · Answer

its not depressing, just dissapointing and sucks. I should know, I'm 18, still a virgin, dateless, and never had a boyfriend. The weird thing is, I have no freaking idea why. I've been told I'm attractive, I have a weird outgoing personality and I'm very confident and social, and I try and show interest to guys I like, so I can't really see what I should do to improve myself or the sitaution. seems like ur in the same situation:( anyways id love to give you some great advice or just say stay positive and things will come to you, but if you want the truth I have no f***ing idea, and yes thinking positive helps, but that doesn't magically make everything change. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what time brings eh?

blackirish · Answer

I was in a similar situation until about the age of 21. Seriously. It'll happen you just need a little confidence in yourself to find someone. Don't rely on the guy to do everything, they'll always pass you by if you don't show them any signs or even come on a little strong.

Personally I hate how passive women are when looking for somebody and then they whine about how they can't find a man.

ABCshake · Answer

I'm pretty sure its not a big deal. I'm on the same boat as you. Take this time to explore you hobbies and interests or just hang out. Basically try to know yourself better and it will pay off in the end. You will only get depressed if you constantly think about not being in a relationship. I'm sure you'll someone soon if you stay positive.

frustratedchump06 · Answer

I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, always been single, so it at least it is not worse for you, because it's worse on me because I'm older, and us guys generally always have to be the ones to take the initiative, make the first move and ask the girl out, so I would say that us guys have it harder

audreymarie21 · Answer

high school romance is usually just filled with disappointment and regret, so I wouldn't worry about it. my real dating/relationship life didn't start until the summer after I graduated high school, and I'm very thankful for it. good luck,  and don't dwell on what you don't have, focus on what you do.

Mink90 · Answer

It's not depressing at all. There are a lot of people in your situation. You may need to open up more or maybe you've never really tried because you were busy with other things or didn't think you were ready.

I'm in the same position. Been here nearly two decades and have never had a girlfriend. I like to think I've been too busy for those things but I don't know. What happens will happen. C'est la vie.

Jiffy · Answer

If I want to meet a girl and I am not sure how to approach her , I walk up to her and ask for direction followed by a compliment , nice dress or whatever , you can even ask the guy to be so kind to walk with you if he is not to busy... hint hint, wink wink ... you'll get there

markml · Answer

Do you want to have already had 3 bad relationships?

Almost all the guys you're going to meet in your teens will be immature. Your family is quite silly...

Maybe you just haven't met the right guy, eh? How many guys have you even met in the last couple of years? It's like your family expects you to hook-up with the first guy that makes a pass at you as soon as your old enough to have a boyfriend...

The smart girls your age worry more about school than boys anyway.

datgully · Answer

No it shouldnt be depressing at all! I actually think your about right. According to my research all the hot girls and girls that stay hot til there older are late bloomers. So you may feel down about this but guys are gonna want you because you haven't been around. Guys want you now,you just may not know it. You sound better than the average girl so be proud.

martyfellow · Answer

All you've missed..you've said it yourself...is some bad 'realtionships.' By waiting until you know what you're doing, you've missed poisoning your feelings and are ready for a healthy relationship with someone that won't end in regrets, bitterness, and viciousness.

Good for you. Don't worry about this. It has nothing at all to do with being unworthy, just being a little bit nonconformist.

Who wants to conform to what's going on in today's relationships?

DiamondsAndIce · Answer

I'm 18 as well and have never had a boyfriend, either!  I find it frustrating, too, but don't worry because when you find someone who's right for you, you'll know.  Just be patient and stop looking for someone; once you stop stressing over it, all the right opportunities appear!  Hope this helps!

Noel10 · Answer

haha. Join the club. I just turned 20 and I, too, have never had a boyfriend or anything close to a boyfriend. Never been on a date. But, it hasn't really bothered me in the past... And, I have noticed that I've been asking myself why I'm still single a lot lately. So, you're not alone. I can see why you find that somewhat depressing, but its not all that bad. You'll find someone.

Anonymous · Answer

I am 26 and never had a girlfriend. I am a virgin too. I don't smoke, don't drink, go to bars, etc. I look average and I have an average personality.

What is there so depressing ? Only because all of your friends had a boyfriend doesn't necessarily mean that you should have one. The world is not going to come to an end if you don't have one.

Also, most probably, you were not ready for a relationship that is why you never had a boyfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I was the same as you, and I wondered the same thing. Then 19 came -- I had a bad relationship, proper dated a couple others, and now I met somebody who is really amazing.

Don't feel bad about it, things will happen when they're meant to. In retrospect, I was glad I missed out on the high school dating scene.

Anonymous · Answer

Well let's see.  I had my first kiss at 17, my first girlfriend at 20 and my first time at 27, and I don't regret any of it.  As a guy I didn't plan things to do that way, but I've always been more interested in having a close girlfriend than lots of sexual partners, so it's all about what you want in life really...

Anonymous · Answer

Don't feel like that at all. I'm 19 never really had a boyfriend...just like you I started to think WHY not? there is nothing wrong with how I look or my intelligence. But there is sometimes something else behind it all. After a long talk with a guy friend I found out it wasn't them more like my fear of commitment. I've spoken to over 30 guys yet not one has been my boyfriend sometimes being single is best and other times their are reasons. I have you talked to guys yet?

britrue3 · Answer

No that's not depressing at all. I didn't have my 1st date or official boyfriend until I was 19 and I've dated 7 guys since then (im 23 almost 24 now). trust me  you are fine and the guys will come (just make sure you're out and around people).

___Toffee___ · Answer

o honey stop spending so much time at home with family go to a bar and find a nice guy I'm 15 and I've already had 8 relashionshiips and 2 bad ones xoxoxoxo not to be mean or anything xoxo good luck

yyyyyy123 · Answer

no, it not your still young. and I'm 27 and never  had a girl friend so, don't  sweet it.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm 21 and a virgin and never been on a date. And I'm average looking. It's depressing but not something to be embarrassed about. I wasn't born with good looks. Things just haven't gone the way we want it. And we have to keep hope alive.

crazykidd · Answer

Not at all I've got a good friend his first relationship was when he was 25 and ended up marrying her

Anonymous · Answer

It feels like I'm going through the same thing. I'm 16 but I still feel like I should have had at least one boyfriend... Also I've had the same luck with boys like you. Unfortunatly, my mom constantly tries to set me up though ha ha :)

KillerrMike · Answer

If I went that long, then yes I would be pretty depressed and embarassed. You must have went through a lot of vibrators by now.

Eartha · Answer

You're so lucky! You've saved yourself from a lot of heartache.

Anonymous · Answer

yea I'm in the same spot... I did gymnastics for all of my life and so there wasn't any time for guys... so your not alone

HVACR · Answer

Look consider your self lucky because whenever you do get one your going to rock!

Anonymous · Answer

Some people take longer than others to get in the game. But if you want in, go lookin girl. Ask some guy out. Look local long distance doesn't work. Get in the game

Anonymous · Answer

Hey I'm just the same as you

Is it depressing that I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend, nor have I had a proper date?

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