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Anyone who says "if a man wants you he will make the first move" is either lying or doesn't understand men.
It really isn't that simple.
I'm not saying that men shouldn't make the first move, but let me give you a conflicting fact...
The more a man wants you, the HARDER it is to make the first move. Whenever I make the first move, I have to convince myself that I don't care if I get rejected. This is usually lie, but the lie is much harder if I've had a crush on the girl for sometime than if I just met her.
In other words, I should make the first move BEFORE I find out how much I really want you. Because if I wait to find out without making a move, I'm in trouble. Even if the motivation for approaching you increases, the mental bar I have to jump over to get there keeps increasing as well.
Times have changed a bit, but I think it's a myth that there was ever a time when men didn't struggle with the role they have.
My suspicion is that men and women haven't really changed that much, but the main difference is that they're a lot more confused about their roles. This confusion leads to false beliefs about what men and women are really like.
Back in the day when men and women more strictly followed their pre-determined social roles, from what I've read and heard, I think that there was a greater understanding of the challenges that both sexes had to go through to fill those roles. Men would make the first move, but women would give a lot more encouragement than they do today, because they knew it's not easy being a man.
Today, we don't understand where the rules came from, and we come up with these mistaken notions about where the rules came from...
For instance, what is the purpose of a "woman playing hard to get"? Well if you think about it, it's a way of testing the guy to see if he's really interested in her. That makes perfect sense if you buy what I'm saying about it being easier for a guy to approach a girl if he hasn't yet decided how interested he is.
On the other hand, if you truly believe that a guy who really wants you will quickly make the first move, then it makes no sense to play hard to get. You don't play hard to get because you know someone wants you...that makes no sense, and yet that's what it seems that many women today believe.
Yes, the fear of rejection is always in the back of my mind.
The thing with me is I'm her friend but I'm crazy about her, but me telling her how I feel might not go the way I planned and then maybe we won't be friends anymore, but yea I know how you feel. !
Opinion
5Opinion
based on the title:
Yup. in my case, it's (basically) because I "fear" that a bad "first impression" can make-or-break a potential date/partner.
OR, that I have to (pretty much) always make the right moves, no matter what. One mistake, and the relationship COULD've been over already.
No don't write him off! Times are changing and sometimes men just want women to be a little more initiative.
If you have flirted, chated and made it obvious you are interested and he still hasn't made his move he might be really shy or some other reason (gay) he's not into you
thats completely faulse, I've never made a move on a girl and I've been into girls before.
100% of the time
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