I’m 14 and I have a crush on a 23 year old man?

Question

What should I do? How do I forget him? 
Is it wrong? I think he’s handsome and I have fantasized having sex with him. I try to stop thinking about him and and I KNOW IT’S WRONG.

What should I do? Is it wrong? He’s very quiet around me and shy.

Is it possible that 23 years old can be attracted to 14 years old? Since I’m a woman and I’m also pretty and sweet.

I’m not trolling at all. Men crush on younger girls right? Even though they know it’s wrong but I do it too.

I will NEVER put any effort to flirt with him or do anything.

But it’s completely wrong to flirt or put any effort. And if the family knew it would be so awkward and he’s not single.

I don’t wanna think about him or show my body language that I’m attracted to him.

What should I do? Is it very wrong? I live in Western Europe.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

"Is it wrong? I think he’s handsome and I have fantasized having sex with him. I try to stop thinking about him and and I KNOW IT’S WRONG."

It's not wrong at all to think about it - certainly at your age.
Believe me, 14-year old teenage boys are having the same thoughts about their female teachers and other women above 18.
So, there is nothing wrong with you - it's biology at work.

"Is it possible that 23 years old can be attracted to 14 years old? Since I’m a woman and I’m also pretty and sweet.

I’m not trolling at all. Men crush on younger girls right? Even though they know it’s wrong but I do it too. "

Yes, it is possible and happens a lot. Basically, the human mind - both male and female - thinks like this at a subconscious level: We look at a person and then mentally assess if they are capable of reproducing. If that person appears too young like little kids, then generally there is no sexual attraction. If the person looks too old, sane thing. But, if the person looks reproductively viable, then there is a certain basic attraction.

That said, an adult recognizes that there's more than just body parts and that it is appropriate for teens to be with teens roughly their age so they learn together about sex and love. A relationship with a teen and a significantly older person is inappropriate because the older person has both more maturity and power in the relationship and power like that can be abused. So, it is best for teens to be with teens.

"I will NEVER put any effort to flirt with him or do anything.
But it’s completely wrong to flirt or put any effort... I don’t wanna think about him or show my body language that I’m attracted to him. What should I do? Is it very wrong? I live in Western Europe."

Well, flirting is inappropriate. However, we all may give subtle hints with our bodies and words even if we have no actual intent. So, he may pick up on your attraction to him. You're likely not the only one, so this wouldn't be a shock to him. Anyway, in this case, the responsibility is his - you are young and will do what Nature tells you to do even if that's doing some body language flirting. However, he is the one who should know better and be able to read those signs from you and he should know not to act on it.

So, bottom line, you've done nothing wrong and don't need to do anything different.
Enjoy your crush and don't worry about it.
Besides, you'll get a new crush sooner or later anyway.

Aguysopinion4799 · Accepted Answer

No.
It's your choice what you find attractive right?
It's natural.
If you find this man attractive, good for you and if he's not available use that as a way of trying to get over him, don't distance yourself from him but rather try to be around him more so that you can act more calmly around him. You'll get over him if you take both factors in, he's not available and you can be around him casually.
Another thing to accept is that there is nothing wrong with liking someone older than you, it's your taste right and you often see adults in relationships with larger year gaps too, my parents have a 7 year gap!
It doesn't seem as bad when they are adults because my family is 45 and 52 so it seems less strange, I also see certain adults attractive but I manage to get over it since I know that we are on different levels of experience in relationships and life in general ^_^

nickyBBB · Accepted Answer

If he is attracted to you he is a hebephile. Don't try anything, it's pointless. Everybody have little crushes in this age, it passes. He can go to jail for that. Don't even tell us, just go and forget about him.

Graydon · Answer

Best thing to do in my opinion is to avoid him whenever you can. The less you see him, the more your feelings towards him start to fade and eventually go away. If you have any pictures of him, get rid of them. It'll help. And when you find yourself thinking of him, change the subject in your mind. You can do that by thinking of something that you love. And remember that there is someone out there for you and you will meet him when the time is right. Don't forget, when he dose come along he'll be way way better than your current crush. He'll be amazing trust me. Good Luck!🍀

Esotericforu · Answer

Your wisdom has been hijacked by your hormones. Sex is just a little aspect of your life. Why are you letting it become the whole of your life. Your curiosity is at your peak beacuse you have just hit puberty, honey. Your whole life is ahead of you. Why the hurry? Just give yourself some time. Explore yourself. Allow yourself to get more matured. Why do you want to incur unnecessary embarrassment on yourself by messing things up? You are in your teens. This precious period of time shouldn't be wasted fantasizing about sex. Invest this time, from 14 to 20, on self-betterment, self-improvement.

Shreyash108 · Answer

I don't know about others and i won't say about others...
But i think every one has fantasize d like that in their early teen ages and fantasizing like that i don't think its like wrong... it's natural... but expecting it to be real ks foolish... it's not possible so don't keep any kind of expectations...

To free your mind from his thoughts... there is not going to be a magic that someone will tell you to do this and it will be gone...
So i think you should divert your mind temporarily... may be make a new friend... or talk to your other friends...
Best if luck

Ryry97 · Answer

This is not a good idea. There’s a reason the age of consent is not 14. You aren’t old enough to be getting into a sexual relationship with a guy any older than 16 and even that’s not something I would really advise at your age. This could end up being something you really regret later in life

serpfire · Answer

Simple. Move on. You said yourself you know it's wrong, and then you asked if it was wrong. Doesn't sound like you know much about attraction and dating. Just saying. :/

DivideByZero · Answer

It's possible that he might be attracted to you, yes. And it's gonna send him straight to jail if he does anything remotely similar to what you fantasize about. Also, it won't end well for you either.

Josht13 · Answer

it's pretty unlikely he's attracted to you and will just see you as a child, best thing to do is forget about it because it would be illegal to happen for 2-4 years (depending on country) and by then probably will have moved on.

jacquesvol · Answer

"Since I’m a woman "
Sorry if that hurts but you are NOT YET a woman, you're a dreaming teen.

If he has any kind of sexual interaction with you, it's statutory rape and he can lose his job as a sex offender and eventually end in jail.

David_Lahh · Answer

I would say wait until you are 18 then you will probably be more muture (not that you are not now) but your opinion might change when I was 16 I dated 19 and that was already pretty weird but I feel it's easier for men to date older women because it doesn't look so weird just my opinion.

Cornchipuniverse · Answer

It's alright to have these feelings and thoughts. Just try to wait until you're 18 before you act on it.

genericname85 · Answer

it's just a crush. it will go away. just wait for it.

RumEro · Answer

i don't think you want the poor guy to end up in jail.

WhoDatGuy · Answer

Unless you want to ruin his life and get him put on a register then back off.

chrisbigman · Answer

I hate to say it, but you're a young *GIRL* - not a woman.

Shawn58 · Answer

Wait so if he gave in and was attracted to you, your just going to let him do it?

mashoodchishti · Answer

Your 14 your young you have a life to live you will find a nice guy later in life

maxcates · Answer

Very bad idea for you both.

willie196045 · Answer

Don't, he is way to old !

Mcluven · Answer

Dont do more then fantasize

mehjsjsha · Answer

Go see a councillor that's just wrong

I’m 14 and I have a crush on a 23 year old man?

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