What are your views on flirting without intent?

[Anonymous]

It's wrong to deliberately provoke desire without intending to fulfill it

It's common practice and therefore it must be OK

[Mexicoman101]

I don't feel like its so bad, it can just be playful. But you shouldn't do it to the point of teasing or getting their hopes up. A little flirting is healthy, even if its just to get someones self esteem up who you wouldn't date for some reason but still find otherwise attractive.

[Asker]

Yeah but what happens when they realise that the self esteem boost was based on a lie? Especially if you yourself are attractive, it really doesn't take much to get someone's hopes up.

[Mexicoman101]

I don't feel like i'm some monster for trying to give someone a confidence boost. Maybe they wouldn't like it if it was based on a lie but there's worse things you can do to someone else. Even like, there was this girl who was flirting with me sort of & I could tell we had great chemistry but she unfortunately had a boyfriend, & I didn't doubt that she did because she was insanely hot and friendly. I still liked that she pulled me up like that

[Asker]

I suppose it depends on the person you're flirting with. It's a risk to simply assume that they won't be affected, especially as we men are generally encouraged to hide our pain and women are generally encouraged to play hard to get. But if you're really certain that they're not going to suffer for it, then perhaps it's OK.

[Mexicoman101]

Nah I mean I don't seek to hurt peoples feelings at all but I'm not that concerned with peoples theoretical reactions to things.

[AD240pCharlie]

As long as you're not trying to lead anyone on when you're not interested in them, it's alright.
I flirt with my female friends regularly, and they flirt with me as well, which is fine because we all know that it's just messing around.

[liarenae]

I think itd okay if you're not in a relationship with someone. Sometimes I flirt and dont even realize

[Asker]

Obviously you can't be blamed if it's accidental. But if it's deliberate I think it's wrong, even if you're single.

[liarenae]

Of course

[pink1980]

I think it’s harmless. Some people flirt without knowing.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm not blaming anyone who doesn't realise they're doing it. It's those who are just using it to get attention that I can't stand.

[Asker]

And obviously, it's not harmless. Unrequited feelings wind up both genders no end.

[ChandelierBoing]

I'll tell you as soon as I gather the courage to face a woman without fainting

[jennyem]

It's just wasting people's time

[NatePsychologyMajor]

Are you single or in a relationship?

[Asker]

I'm single. But even then I'd only flirt with people I'm actually attracted to. Doing it from within a monogamous relationship obviously adds an extra layer of dodginess to it.

[NatePsychologyMajor]

Some people have that nature, some do it for the fun of it. I say just be careful.

[Asker]

To be fair it probably depends a bit on cultural and social context- I can imagine there being big differences between what a Briton and an Italian, say, would consider to be flirtatious vs friendly.

[UsernameMadness]

It's fun as long as you're both on the same page.

[Anonymous]

It is ok