Girls- How often do guys actually do a cold approach with you?

Question

Does this actually happen all that often? Are you usually receptive of the attention or do you feel kind of awkward and uncomfortable? How often do guys actually do a cold approach with girls?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i guess every girl is different some are very open to dating like that while others are kind of reserved and closed off a bit...

i know girls my own friends actually who openly give their numbers to guys and have convos with strangers easily, they just love the attention and its an ego boost for them, but also theyre not that serious about them either...may be theyll give it one date or will do the texting each other back and forth again for attention, but it won't go far really...

im more of a weird girl, I'm kind of shy and reserved and don't like that type of approach by men. even if theyre really hot and good looking, I can't seem to trust a stranger like that, although it is very flattering to know they find me attractive. I rather be approached by men in places I'm familiar with like school, church, work, etc maybe a common group of mutual friends, networking, where I can be comfortable being myself and be open to friendship first with a guy, get to know him through personality, and then be open to dating him...its just how I function =/

so you have to be aware of which type of girl you're targeting. may be you can study their body language first and analyze what type of girl they seem?

HGR15 · Accepted Answer

Yeah, it happens a ton. I'll just be at the mall walking around or wherever I am and theyll come up and start talking eventually getting to the point of asking for my number, it can be flattering but sometimes it has happened with my Mother standing next to me and that is a bit awkward although I do give them points for  having the guts to talk to a girl who is with her mother, it isn't usually uncomfortable because if they are wanting to talk to you so bad that they can come up to you, who they don't even know, that they keep the conversation flowing  but anyways, yeah it happens quite often and I like it when a guy can do that

timetowaste · Accepted Answer

It happens pretty often. However, in the situations I've been in, the guy is way more aggressive than just simply trying to get my number. I've been flat out asked for sex, guys try to talk to me for a few minutes and then want to kiss me.. like wtf. Once I was sitting outside of a convenient store on the phone with my boyfriend when a guy randomly walked up and asked if I was stranded or something. I told him no, and then he asked me out to dinner, LOL. Man, that one was awkward. My Boyfriend was p*ssed nonetheless but I politely declined. It's awkward if you're trying to be too forward and aggressive.

kidaphon · Accepted Answer

You can divide cold approaches to a number of smaller niche categories - one of which is a situational opener - something happening in the environment both of you are in. Whenever the opportunity for one of these arises I most likely jump over the fence to give it a try - mainly because it seems more consistent and would not immediately come across as an act with a ulterior motive.

Basically before doing an approach, I would put my shoes in the female briefly and think to myself, if I was approached and asked or said the very same thing that I was about to do, how would I feel about it? If it sounds relatively comfortable, go for the gamble. Easier said than done though, I have often fallen victim to approach anxiety as I have a slight trace of venustraphobia (fear of beautiful women). ;)

bobair · Accepted Answer

Great questions, I'm curious to hear this too.

Most girls I've dated seem to have NEVER been "cold approached" outside of the bar, or while bartending. So, let's hear it ladies!

~ Robby

P.S. From my experience, if you cold approach a girl and she get's all nervous, it's better to respond by becoming more and more relaxed while flirting and having fun. Women are empathic and will FEEL what you feel... it's almost like she's waiting for you to show her that it's okay to relax, so she'll follow your lead. So, if you chose to not feel awkward, is simply won't BE awkward.

ladyrara26 · Answer

It depends. Sometimes I wish guys would come up and do this more often... I guess I would want this to happen more when I'm out expecting this. Like at a bar or something.

But if I'm out by myself and this happens I usually want to be left alone and that could be kind of awkward trying to not hurt his confidence for coming to talk to me.

I'm still grateful for someone to come up and talk to me! But study the body language.. If she looks like she wants to be alone, let it be. If she's staring around and in a happy mood, make a move !

l-hedoniste · Answer

I try it all the time, every day, just to work the charm muscles. Never turns into anything, though, unless:

a. there's repeat contact (but then it's not really a cold approach anymore)

b. we have a mutual acquaintance (but that's not really cold, either)

c. she's in a circumstance where it's normal to get picked up--a nightclub or a party, for example. That's not exactly cold, either; we're just fishing where the fishes are.

Aside from getting the context right, your game needs to be tight. You can't be *remotely* creepy. You can't be boring. You can't be needy. And putting her at ease? Your job; she won't, maybe can't, do this for you.

An observation: cold approaches are 10 times easier once she hits 30. Being calm, charming, and poised while making her appear calm, charming, and poised is a hell of a lot of work. I find older girls are more likely to sympathize, and are more adept at helping things along when they want you to succeed.

Catandstuff · Answer

I love it! But it doesn't happen much... if ever... In my experience girls need to initiate the approach first by looking or saying hi. Most guys won't approach girls unless they think they are hot guys themselves or the girl has already shown some kind of interest or else they are majorly sleazy... So unless a girl has given you a sign... then when you approach her she will probably pass you off as cocky or desperate...

However all girls are different and I love any kind of attention lol because I enjoy meeting and talking to different kinds of people and I find a guy that can approach a girl and take the lead to be a very sexy thing!

DoctorSex · Answer

Personally...i don't do it enough, I know women very well and as a result of that I'm very loveable...which leads to heart break on their side because I'm I have a lot to accomplish in my life before I bring a partner else into it...

but that aside, I'm not likeing what I'm seeing from most girls responses to this question and most girls in general...and this is why

Most guys, expecially the ones that are worth it are very shy about going up to a girl and talking to her, and chicks can easily mistake nervousness for being creepy. So when a guy comes up to you, give him the benefit of the doubt and hear him out, its probably a lot harder for him to come up to you than for you to stand there and listen.

Remember, the players know where to find you and what surroundings you feel comfortable in, so don't just look to date guys that you met at a club or a party...or all those social joints.

grnpari · Answer

Intelligent girls would be wary no matter how cute you are, because they can't help thinking of you as a big flirt & those types are not dependable. It'd be best if you'd strike up a conversation first, topic depends on where you are, if they are a complete stranger & in that case you can get a feel of whether you two are compatible. Sounds logical?

Btw, yes this has happened to me a few times & I avoid these type of situations by averting my eyes if I notice someone staring intently from the moment I walk in.

jokerbaby · Answer

I find it weird if it were to be in like a grocery store.

I know it's how you meet people , But wtf mannn , I am trying to focus on food shopping for crying out loud , Not shopping for mens numbers. It's happened to me numerous times most of the time I decline because first off they are way too forward or spit out corny pick up lines like " You are way to sexy " I find that so disrespectful... It's like they only want one thing by saying vulgar comments like that . I've only given out my number a couple of times , I am very choosey about whom I give out my number too & careful because you never know who you dealing with these days !

Kate45 · Answer

I haven't been out too much in bars and clubs, but I have been approached there but I haven't given out my number or anything. Guys in the club creeping for girls aren't really my style. But at parties I'm way more receptive, because it's usually quieter and easier to talk, I know the guy probably knows some of my friends and is therefore in my kinda social peergroup. I've hooked up with and dated guys I've met at parties. But in everyday life? not really happened that much, at least not seriously.

Brando · Answer

Interesting question. Outside of the club/bar scene, I doubt it happens very often at all. Most guys don't have enough reason to approach a girl in public. The whole asking her what she's up to seems about as cliche as "Come here a lot?". There's really not that much to approach her with unless you are a smooth talker. And let's be honest, it would probably be jar to be a smooth talker while you are approaching a stranger.

I don't know, I could be wrong. It's just my guess that it doesn't happen often at all.

andre251 · Answer

I do a cold approach about 6-10 times a week. I have generally positive reactions! I think the girls like that I approach them and show that I am confident in that I want to meet them! The fact of the matter is, I am not REALLY interested in girls that go to clubs and bars to meet guys. That means they possibly hook up with the guys that frequent those places. Me being a doctoral student, I am trying to find something specific, and basically, I usually have to find it at a college campus.

Speaking of parties...I am in a circle of friends that is like 85% guys and 15% girls. It is just unfortunate due to my Major area of study and profession. But basically, I am FORCED to try to find a new person outside of my realm or circle of friends. Cold approach is a must for me!

purple6person · Answer

It happens to me often, I don't think it is because I'm super hot... I think it is because I am friendly.  Today on my college campus I smiled at a guy politely when we were passed each other and he introduced himself to me... I was in a hurry so I tried to sneak away and he stopped me and gave me his name to find him on facebook.

GIntrovert · Answer

I use to try it a lot, but the awkward and uncomfortable (and sometimes angry) vibe and saying "sorry about bothering you" before walking off was getting old.

I don't know if it's just me, but I feel really disheartened when a girl I like does that to me. (which is every single one I've tried) Am I that worthless in their eyes, that they couldn't just say, "sorry I'm not interested".

TC123 · Answer

Depends on where you are and what you look like. I've had good luck just approaching and talking to girls that live in working class areas but when I'm in $$$$$$$$$ areas I don't bother. Women in high dollar areas want a rich guy to marry and a hot poor guy for a booty call.

And no it's not that some are "way prettier" than others, they're ALL pretty, their attitudes are different is all.

ninthjewel · Answer

It depends on what side of town I'm on.  The only time I thought it wasn't creepy was when it was in the library.  I often feel threatened when guys do this because they are too pushy or it is just a bad location.  I don't care who you are, don't hit on me at the gas stations.  I will get in my car and drive away out of instinct.  How many people's get married after meeting someone they hit on randomly?  Life is not a movie.  Stick with online dating if you want to meet new people.

Stella5555 · Answer

It completely depends on the guy.

Sadly the only cold approaches I get are from strange, older men. (I'm 22, but these guys are batting around 30-35).

Now if a seemingly nice guy around my age decided to talk to me and I was interested I wouldn't have much of a problem with it, but that doesn't happen enough for me to know for sure.

Starr2gb · Answer

For me comes in spurts. Like 2 or 3 times a week, then nothing for a few weeks. To be honest, it depends on the guys approach and the guy himself. There are some seriously creepy dudes out there. If a guy approaches me, seems sincere and there's an attraction I'd prefer he give me his number and ask me to call/text him. No harm, no foul. I mean what woman doesn't like a guy that can be confident and vulnerable, both at the same time? The chicks that aren't bitches will appreciate it and make contact. Lets face it some good looking women are so full of themselves, so if they don't call...no loss! That being said, if the guy comes on too strong (for ex. too intense) it can seriously creep a girl out.

Hope this helps ;)

stillagoodgirl · Answer

I thought that's how people met. That's the only way I seem to date guys but nothing serious ever happens because I pull away and can't fully trust the guy.

Guys cold approach me more often than guys who are friends of friends or who are in class etc.

I don't mind being cold approached esp if the guy is someone I'm attracted to or interested in talking to.
I'm too nice to tell a guy upfront that I'm not interested so I usually give the guy my number just because he asked

jaycexDA · Answer

It's relatively frequent for me, I'd say about every other time I'm in a public situation. Not necessarily that I get hit on, but many guys will at least try and initiate conversation or make some sort of random comment. I find it a little awkward considering I only ever initiate clearly unnecessary conversation with a stranger only once in a blue moon, or if I happen to be drunk.

countygirl · Answer

I've had it happen, but it always made me feel uncomfortable. Especially, if he continued to press the matter after I said "Thanks, but I'm not avaiable".

I know some girls who really like it though. I think it all depends on the person.

Anonymous · Answer

it happens a lot. if I think he's attractive and could see myself dating him then I'm receptive to it. if I just want someone to talk to then I'll appreciate the attention but that's about it. I don't really feel awkward or uncomfortable unless the guy is unattractive in my eyes.

toulouse · Answer

I talk to random people all the time. Doesn't bother me- I love to talk,  but I don't give out my number to anyone. I like talking to strangers its fun..  Most of my friends are guys & lots of my friends were strangers at one point. ^^

MILLIONDOLLARSMILE · Answer

Great question!

I've tried it a few times, I wasn't very successful(all I got was a friend zone thing) but I gained enjoyed the conversation none the less, and plus I gained some experience in this business.

LibertinesGirl · Answer

yep and it's great but I hardly ever say yes and if I do I give a fake number 9 times out of 10. ilike knowin a guy before dating him x

GruffBalloon · Answer

I do it all the time.  Most if not all of the women I've talked to like this were VERY receptive to it. Approaching a girl in a non-party setting takes balls

Memoryfalls · Answer

Never happened to me.  I wouldn't mind though, depending on the guy's attitude and my mood, I would give him my number...if not, I would probably be just freaked out. ^^;

maybeTransparent · Answer

It's never happened to me before, but if it did, I know I'd be terribly uncomfortable regardless of how he looked or acted.

Nikki1989 · Answer

At least once a week, but I work at a job where I am meeting people constantly. The disturbing part is most men that flirt with me are married.

hesaysim2sexy · Answer

what do you mean cold approach? then I'll explain further

WhitneySnow · Answer

Not that often but then again I go to a small school and everybody kinda knows everybody else

Anonymous · Answer

well it depends who it is, if its a guy that always stinks and has really long hair then I'll try to get out of it  if its a tall guy that smells good  then I'd most likely like it his approach

-thatonegirl · Answer

happens all the time. how else are you supposed to meet new ppl?

Anonymous · Answer

what is the cold approach? i googled and came up with different results. One said, you appear indifferent, the other sounded like a normal appraoch

Basenumber16 · Answer

The thing is girls don't have ANY idea how many times they are being hit on like, girls dont' see this as cold opening they think it's jsut talking that's how I meet all of my girlfriends.. talking to them out of nowhere.

selfishstars · Answer

Never happened.

Anonymous · Answer

wot 9999char

Girls- How often do guys actually do a cold approach with you?

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