Why do some guys get offended when you call them a player (whether jokingly or seriously)?

[Anonymous]

[FlutteringFeelings]

Offense cannot be felt if it’s not true. I’ll let someone call me a h** as much as they want but because I am mature and know me more than anyone else I’ll clearly state what I have to say and remain in peace.

I wouldn’t call a guy a player directly but I’ll reword it so he can get the memo. It’s not about what you say but how you say it. It’ll take him proving to me that he’s not a player for me to actually believe so.

I once told a guy that I’ve dealt with players when he asked but I would not hold him accountable so he would have to prove to me different and only time will tell. That’s me saying: “I don’t know who you are and I won’t compare you to the other guys I’ve dealt with but if you screw up than it’ll let me know if I was dealing with a real man or a player all along.”

[ATuairiscean]

Its a depends answer - Some might think you are calling them a stud and polish their bling , others might think you are calling them a dirty dog. I would be in the latter and not be impressed

[Asker]

So would you say good guys see it as a bad thing and bad guys see it as a good thing, or not really?

[ATuairiscean]

Yeah I think you are close to the mark with your summary

[LordSnuggles]

Player implies a person has low moral standards. It's seldom said in a positive way. In fact I've never heard it used in a positive way, purely as an insult or cautionary description.

[Asker]

So why do some guys praise each other for being players? This is very confusing. Is it because they know girls don’t like it?

[LordSnuggles]

When a woman says it, a guy understands that it's meant in a negative way. Men and women are different if it wasn't obvious. There are lots of things that are cool for women but not for men and vice versa.

[LordSnuggles]

Men and women also value different things and that's a good thing.

[Asker]

So basically from that it sounds like if a woman feels he’s a player and she jokingly calls him out, the reason he really gets offended is because it diminishes his chances of playing her.

[LordSnuggles]

No... He knows she's calling him someone of low character. You don't think highly of players, you think guys do, so the connotation changes depending on who is saying it.

[Asker]

But it shouldn’t really change depending on who’s saying it should it, if that’s what you are (either way) then you should own it. Otherwise it’s fake to be one thing to someone and another to someone else.

[LordSnuggles]

I guess you live in a world where you have the same expectations for everyone and there's no distinction between a man and a woman. In reality, you probably expect a woman to behave differently than a man and your expectations will differ as well. That's just life.

[Asker]

Not at all. But people generally know who they are and don’t swing between extremes for different people.

[Anonymous]

Because most guys aren't players, but girls go around screaming "all men are players, fuck guys" because that girl fucked a player and he screwed her over. If one guy is a player, the average guys pay for it.

When a girl gets screwed over by a player, typically, she'll fuck more players thinking she's getting back at men overall because she blames all men, not the ones who screwed her over.

"Player" is a triggering word for me I'll admit, because according to girls, I'm a player, a sex crazed beast, and have no emotions other than lust. But when i get rejected it's because I'm too emotional, i lack experience and "I don't know what i want"

[MrKinktastic]

I'd be a little bummed because I really try to be straightforward and not trick people so don't consider myself a player. I'd feel bad if someone thought I played them as thats never my intention.

[boggboss]

It would be like calling a women a slut and wondering why she don't like the name

[Asker]

But guys are praised for being sluts, no? Isn’t that part of what makes them feel like men? Even though I disagree.

[boggboss]

No it's not guys are not praised for being sluts lol u are trying to live in a past that the world has moved on from

[Asker]

Well that’s good to know, but from a female perspective a lot of us are under this impression for whatever reason so it must still be prominent somewhere, even if falsely promoted.

[boggboss]

Yes from the mouths of moat femanazi that claim u are still oppressed by us males

[Asker]

No it’s from men and pick up artists too actually!

[boggboss]

So from men that practise at being players 😅

[Asker]

I guess, they obviously think it’s a good thing, they portray it like many men want to be this

[boggboss]

Well I will say many man would like to just be able to pick up a women yes but that's because they have never had a women or had few and far between

[Asker]

Yeah I can see that being the case

[TheFiddler]

When someone calls me something I'm not I look at them like they should know me better with a dash of surprised along with that I do a bit of bad acting by using my right hand I cover my heart and act like my knees are weaking by then I'm looking at my surroundings hold my left hand out to it, as if asking why. That's what I do when I end up being the punch line to a joke or jest.

[ImagineSketchy]

Probably because they don't like being called a player even if you're just kidding. It has a negative connotation, and there are people that don't want to be associated with such negativity.

[tychi3400]

They don't want to be lumped in with other guys let alone seen as someone who gets around even if they do it

[ItzYaboi]

Player has a negative connotation for most guys. Even as a joke it dwindles the mind of a man and trigger him

[AmeerX]

Because you putting them on same line as a real player which they are not

[Asker]

Why is that bad though?

[AmeerX]

One person goes after every other girl vs one person who choose someone after careful thought and patience.
The difference seems trivial but it is not

[Taxation_is_Theft]

Some men see "player" the same as some women see "slut".

[os2blue]

Because playa= fuckboi. And that has a negative stigma to it. Basic it makes then look like a bad person.

[Rangers]

The obvious answer to the question is that they aren't players and don't appreciate the label you're trying to place on them.

[valualty]

Because women get offended when they get call sluts simple

[Rambler221]

Because to many, myself included, "player" translates to "man whore".

[thestarbreaker]

I personally don't mind it. I think girls flirt with you sometimes like this because sometimes they want you to play them

[Ashley234]

some do that, not all of us females do though lol

[thestarbreaker]

so what do you want?

[Asker]

I disagree, I’ve not known any girls enjoy that.

[thestarbreaker]

some girls do flirt with you so that you can flirt with them too, it's ok. Not all girls do this, no, but some do.

[Hugemoth]

Because it's straight up an insult.

[Asker]

I thought some guys praised each other with that label

[Hugemoth]

Never heard anyone do that around me.

[Anonymous]

What if someone "jokingly" called you a slut? It's not hard to be sensible come on.

[oreodair]

If they get offended, it’s true 😂

[Decentguy]

because those guys are not players

[NovissimumVirorum]

I’d take it as a compliment

[NEOTUNIA2U]

Denial