Why would a guy say he wants to hang out but then never make plans?

[Anonymous]

Recently a guy I like texted me to say he wanted to make plans to hang out. First time was just to ask if I wanted to, second time was to say that we should hang out the next week. However, he never texted me that week to make plans. What gives?

Updates

+1 y

We've hung out a fair amount in the past before but it's always been with friends...could he just be nervous of it being one and one? And why wouldn't he just make an excuse for not being able to hang out instead of just blowing me off...?

[rdr005]

He may be very shy. Next time he brings it up, push it out of him by asking, "So what did you have in mind?" and remind him later til he sets something. That is... of course, if you're willing to give him the push and not look at him as a scared little boy (and I don't mean that sarcastically... if it turns you off that he's shy like that, then drop him, but if not, give him a chance and a little "push" for encouragement).

[Asker]

We already had specific plans of what we were going to do...we actually had plans before to do the same thing but he kinda bailed on that too. Why would he keep bring something up if he doesn't want to do it, maybe its just that its the two of us?

[rdr005]

It would just seem very odd that he would bail. In a case like this, you can try confronting... though I know that's never the easiest option. I've been bailed on several, and end up just saying, "Its OK, another time." Does he offer excuses or does he just not show up and cancel at the last second. I really don't wantto believe he just forgets (though still may be the case)... but if I were interested in someone, I wouldn't forget those dates.

[rdr005]

Probably just ask him if he really would like to date, if he'd just be comfortable being friends. So he doesn't have to feel "forced" to go on some explosive date if he is too shy at the time. Tell him it can just be a "social" date, or even a "group date" if it would help him relax in the situation. Its a real hard situation to read.

[Asker]

Basically what happened this time was that he texted once asking if I'd want to do something specific, I said yes, then he texted again asking if I'd want to do our plans the next week. He never texted me to make plans after that and its been a week and a half...

[Asker]

And the last time we had talked about doing something the next day and he said to let him know if I wanted to...so I texted him and then he made an excuse for why he couldn't.

[rdr005]

I won't hold it against him for an excuse for a next day thing, simply because its short notice. However, for the other stuff... he'll need to make up his mind. If he's going to plan a date, you'll need him to do all the planning then and there. If he asks, "wanna do something next week," don't say yes or no, say, "what do you have in mind." He'll probably say he's not sure yet, to which you just say, "well let me know when you have something a little more concrete."

[rdr005]

That would force him to either come up with a full plan and not empty ideas, and could get you two launched. If he can't come through with that, I'd say it's probably time to just move on. He's had a few chances to get up with you and has failed to do so without seemingly good excuse.

[Asker]

he had a plan of what to do...he just never made plans on a day. ugh.

[heyitsdan]

Got scared, meet a new girl, forgot ? Id go with got scared.

[Asker]

He's a pretty outgoing guy and doesn't really strike me as the type to get scared...are some guys just really good at hiding it?

[heyitsdan]

Im good at hiding my emotions.. then again.. I do have big balls but w/e

[lostsoul_77]

I had something similar happen to me just last week and I still can't figure it, I think for the most part he has someone. When a guy in interested he will clime mountains and if he isn't then you don't want him anyways.

[Anonymous]

maybe he wants you interested in case nothing better comes along

[freezey]

LOL, I have done this but it's not because I was scared. It was because I didn't know if the girl was really interested in seeing me so I threw the idea out there, unfortuantly I didn't get much of a response just a "yeah suppose we could" so I thought - 'Oh! she's not really interested, I'll forget it then'. Maybe he feels the same way, what are you like around him? do you want to meet up with him?

[Asker]

I'm not all over him when we're together, but I text him sometimes and always act enthusiastic over text we he suggests we do something. I do want to meet up with him but I feel like the fact that I've pursued him some in the past by texting and making plans should have made it clear that I'm interested and I don't want to come across as clingy.

[freezey]

Yeah maybe...I would say to him that your free over the weekend and ask if he wants to go see a film with you or something like that. See what his response will be like, then you can judge whether he is still into you or if your opportunity has sailed by.. Good Luck..

[islands7]

Here's some more insight

link

[Jeffry]

He could just be scared to make the big move of making a real appointment. So try to speak with him in person and make an appointment to go out together.

[Anonymous]

why don't you just text him and ask him to hang out?