He asked me out but never told me when??!

[Anonymous]

Finally after a long time of me being interested in a male friend he asked me out, well technically he offered to take me and teach me bowling. Yes that's right I never really bowled before! Anyway, he just asked me randomly and I agreed and I asked him when.and he suggested on the weekend (I don't remember if he said this weekend or on a weekend in general).

So I said to him that whenever he wants to go play we can and to let me know, and he said okay and seemed excited when he also invited me to go do something else with him (again we didn't even really discuss when either).

Well, we never specifically said a date/time the night he asked.and I ran into him last nite at a friends gathering and he really made no mention of it either.my gut feeling is he took what I said literally and will ask me the the same day he wants to go.

Or what do you all think? The entire situation is bugging me because at first I was excited and now I'm irritated because he didn't say anything last nite at all about it.

So what do I do. I don't want to ask him about it and seem to eager but the whole idea of not planning it ahead bugs me and if its not this weekend but at a later date then what was the whole point in asking me if he meant going sometime in the future, if that's the case.

[Blake26]

Well if it helps you any, I'm a planner too. I would want to know in advance. If I were him I would have told you everything about the date, up to the second. I want her to be confident that it will happen. I wouldn't want to ask to go out with be me, being strong and confident, and then say "It will just happen sometime on Saturday or whatever" I know that's how some people roll, but not me. I have a life and every second counts, so I gotta know. For you, you can go ahead and ask what time is it. Just be like "I want to know what time you wanted to go bowling, so I can figure out how the rest of my weekend will happen." That's it. It's straight to the point and lets him know that he isn't the only thing on your schedule. Best of all, you don't look like a fool. {Always a plus} It lets him know that he is fighting for your time, which should make the time spent together more valued and should let him know that if he wants to be with you he should give you an extra heads up to make sure it happens.

Hope I helped, send me a message tell me what you think!

[Asker]

Yeah but I don't wanna be domineering either...plus I did say after all "Just let me know when you want to go and we'll go..."

[Blake26]

I don't know what to say. I understand you don't want to be controlling, I would be too. I feel like I lost you on this one. All I can say is that he asked so it will be up to him to make it happen. If he wants to go {which it definitely sounds like} he will ask, if he doesn't he doesn't. Sorry not much I can say. The ball is in his court, so just wait for him to tell you.

[Asker]

I ran into him at a friends house...but once again he didn't bring it up and didn't even say anything to me...not in a "avoiding/ignoring me" kinda way but I ahve noticed he doesn't say much to me when lots of people are around...

[Blake26]

No biggie, I wouldn't be pushing the panic button yet. He probably just wanted tell you in private; just not to make a big show. Like I said before, if he wants to go, he will make it happen.

[Asker]

Yeah but there's no reason why he should be a. doing the "not talking to me" thing at parties/gatherings... and b. if he wanted to go why bring it up if he didn't wanna go anytime soon

[Blake26]

Yeah, I don't understand why he is waiting. You are clearly right, but like I said before, it's his job to bring it up and make it happen. {That is unless you get desperate and ask him}

[l-hedoniste]

You don't want to ask him about it and seem eager? Why not?

[Asker]

Cause that shows desperation but I'm a planner...and technically he isn't but if he's going to ask me out and not set a date then what is the whole point! unless he is taking me literally.

[l-hedoniste]

So wait--it seems desperate to ask a guy to set a date, even though you KNOW he's not a planner? First, eagerness is not desperation. I pick people who are eager to date me over those who aren't; I hope you do too. Second, you're playing this way too cool, and you're gonna blow it if you're not careful.

[Asker]

What do you mean I'm playing it way too cool?

[l-hedoniste]

You think you're not setting a date because you don't want to seem desperate. If I were him, I would think that you're not setting a date because you don't want to go on a date. If he gets this idea, then you've blown it.

[Asker]

Okay. I'll ask him this weekend, I will run into him in the morning I think...i usually do.

[Anonymous]

talk to him.

[Anonymous]

just ask him.