Is he trying to teach me a lesson or is he serious?

[Anonymous]

I texted something that made my boyfriend mad and he texted me back saying he was done with us. I tried to call him the entire next day and he wouldn't answer my calls. I texted him asking if he still loved me. I said if he didn't love me anymore that I would leave him alone and never bother him again. He didn't reply back. Is he ignoring me to teach me not to say silly things to make him mad or is he really done? I thought if he didn't care for me anymore and really wanted me to leave him alone he would've told me he didn't love me.

[missnicole]

Both of you are in your late 30's early 40's ? Did you purposely and./or often say things to your boyfriend to make him mad? Why say silly things to make him mad anyway? That's a bit much for this stage of life. Maybe your text was the final straw and he closed off to you, I don't blame him. I don't know anyone at my age who would have the patience for that or think its cute...def grounds for getting blocked, especially to ask him that about if he doesn't love you anymore youd leave him alone. If you loved him you wouldn't be antagonizing him in the first place...know what I mean?

If you were in your teens or maybe early 20's I could be more forgiving of that sort of thing and acting that way, but not at this age..makes no sense on any level.

[Asker]

Either I didn't explain myself well or you took what I said wrong. No I don't say silly things to him all the time. Everyone has moments where they say things they regret. He was busy,I didn't realize it and picked a time to ask something that should've been discussed later. I'd had a long day myself and just sort of made a comment that he didn't care. We all do things sometimes in the heat of the moment. Which is why I figured it was just a bad time for both of use all the way around.

[missnicole]

Ah okay...when you said "Is he ignoring me to teach me not to say silly things" I took that to mean you were aware you were saying silly things, hence the question. In any case, it does seem like he reached the end of his rope. And I still do not understand why you would ask him that about if he doesn't love you anymore you would leave him alone... Why question his feelings for you?

[Asker]

I have no idea really why I asked that..I suppose I was frustrated by not hearing from him. It's silly really I agree but I guess I was at my wits end trying to get him to talk to me. He's been having a hard time finding a better job and has been stressed out and I think I just picked the wrong time to say anything that wasn't sweet and loving. I had my duhhh moment you could say.

[missnicole]

I think at this point the best thing to do is give him some space. If he's under as much stress as you say, all this, plus questioning his feelings for you mostly likely only served to stress him out more and not want to deal with you for now. At a minimum, Id do some damage control, tell him you were just upset and that you didn't mean to doubt his love for you, then back off and wait it out.

[Asker]

thanks for the advice! I think you're right and that's what I'm doing right now. I sent him an apology last night and let him know I understand he's stressed out and I shouldn't have added to that stress. So, now I'm backing off and giving him space.

[amymuu]

if he in stress looking for job..l think you have to give him some positive movement or courage him to be positive..say sorry..but not botter him all the time..but in d mean time give support and talk nicely for his mentality support...tell you love him but feel really wanna to see him but its wrong time..u should know he busy and in bad condition.

Then leave him alone for few day..then sms him to comfort him and say thing positive to support him...always b nice..then after sometime he may forgive u..if he found new job...but if you keep complaining...n nag then l guess you won't see him anymore.

[Purfectkitty08]

you must of said something really bad for him to be this mad at you...I don't think he's teaching you a lesson as you call it...I think you made him really mad

[Asker]

It wasn't really all that bad or at least I didn't think so. However, he has had a bad few weeks with searching for another job and other things so I think I just picked the wrong time to say anything that wasn't sweet and loving.

[Purfectkitty08]

well we all make mistakes..best thing you can do is say your sorry for anything you may have done wrong and admit where you know you were wrong and see what happens...sounds like something might have been building up and the last text broke his patience? He may be under a lot of stress.

[Asker]

totally agree...i did what you mentioned and now I'm giving him space to destress! thanks for the advice!

[Purfectkitty08]

You're welcome! Hope things improve...I believe they will :)