How do I get my boyfriend to stop complimenting me?

[Anonymous]

without it seeming like I have low self esteem..



i get really uncomfortable when he compliments me to the point where he almost made me cry by calling me beautiful.. yes I know I have issues with self esteem and self worth blah,.. but its really only an issue in my relationship when he compliments me because I don't handle compliments well .. so how do I make him stop and not make a big deal out of it at the same time?

Updates

+1 y

i appreciate everyones advice and I do understand that I have to come to terms with my self esteem issues, but in the mean time I don't know how to deal with his compliments (its sort of like how do you deal with someone straight out lying to your face)

[ShootingStar5]

Unfortunately you're not gonna be able to talk about this situation without it seeming like you have low self esteem because that's exactly what your problem is. (Don't take that offensively) Honestly the best thing for you is to try to get over your insecurities with this. It is not even close to a normal reaction to be crying over something that's so very good.

Your boyfriend is complimenting you because he means what he is saying! He really thinks you're beautiful and he wants you to know that! Which is a truly wonderful thing. You are very lucky to have a guy who can openly express that about you because there are so many guys who never dish out a compliment.

Even if you don't believe what he is saying about yourself, believe that he does! Smile because somebody thinks you're beautiful and who doesn't want people to think that? Would you really rather have him say "meh, sorry babe you don't really do it for me..." I think now... now that would be something worth crying over!

Also, when somebody gives a compliment it's because they want to make the other person feel GOOD not bad. If you have a negative reaction toward your boyfriend after he's trying to make you feel good, HE'LL end up feeling bad. Wouldn't you want him to have a positive reaction if you gave him a compliment?

You will feel so much happier about yourself and the compliments you receive if you can learn to appreciate them. Best of luck to you!

[leximarie]

are you serious? don't try to get him to stop! the problem isn't with him itsd you sister girl. seriously though instead of getting uncomfortable actually let it sink in and try to believe it. I know its relly ard to believe your beautiful and worth something and when someone comes in and tells you that yyou are beautifl and not owrthless it can be a bit overwhelming because it threatens everything else we have been told or come to believe, but the reality is you ARE beautiful and more importantly you're eautiful to him ,and that is all that really matters.

[justagirl42]

I could have just arrowed you up sister but I wanted to say that when I read this this is exactly what I was thinking. They tell you if you have low self esteem that these are the things you should say to yourself in the mirror until you believe it. How much better is it to have a guy you love actually reinforcing all these wonderful things. Don't you dare make him stop you need to tell yourself this stuff. YOU DESERVE TO HEAR THEM.

[leximarie]

amen amen justagirl42! seriously though saying this stuff to yourself WILL HELP! no lie jus saying these uplifting things to yourself can help, but you HAVE to BELIEVE IT~! and you have somebody else reinforcing this for you? somebody who clearly cares about you? sounds like a great xperiance for you to start loving yourself

[Anonymous]

Leave me alone don't complement me leave me alone don't worry about what im wearing leave me alone is it that hard

[MandMandM]

You don't. You learn to return the good feelings. It's basic manners that causes positive self image as a good side effect.

People are so used to hostility or indifference from all around (school, work, at the mall, commuting) that they come to feel bad about themself. If enough people are bad or neutral to you, even the most optimistic person starts to feel self doubt.

A compliment, handled correctly is the way out of this spiral. If he takes the time to say something nice, you take the time to reciprocate. Look him in the eyes, smile and say thanks!

If the time is right say something sincere and nice back (without being too gushing).

If you don't you'll be taken for another rude hostile person who will get fewer compliments, re-inforcing the bad pattern. If you do give one back, maybe with a kiss, then he feels good as well, and the active doing something positive will distract you from any temporary discomfort you were feeling. This reciprocal pattern is a self reinforcing feel good thing for both of you.

[Letsbereal]

I respect how you feel. How about you go ahed and explain this to him just as you did to the strangers on here. Usually girls'women like compliments so He is not doing anything wrong. Talk to him about it before he unknowingly pushes you away and mess up what could possibly be a good relationship

[Anonymous]

MINOR issues with your self-esteem, crying over a compliment. Other girls would die to be complimented.

You should just believe it and accept yourself, I mean if you weren't actually pretty your boyfriend would most possibly not be your boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

Stop thinking he's lying, because he's not?