What Are Young, Shy Guys Insecure About?

Question

I mean, I don't know. What's going on inside that seemingly empty head of yours?

StringofFate · Accepted Answer

If you're still reading this clusterf*** of a post, I think everyone missed the actual answer.

Men who are shy aren't comfortable with what they're supposed to be as 'men'. They have feelings and thoughts and emotions and whatnot but 'men' are supposed to be this impenetrable tough thing and not be vulnerable. He realizes that his thoughts clash with what a 'man' is and so he doesn't want to come off as an improper man. You're under 18. So he's under 18. You're kids. You have no idea what you're supposed to be so you look at what society's telling you to be, but for guys who seem shy, they usually looked at society's role models and didn't see what they wanted to be. Some guys like being tough and invulnerable. Others don't, and at a young age, they don't realize yet that it's okay, so they keep themselves inside themselves. I guess I'm done.

I don't like your attitude either by the way. :) but unlike everyone else who responded who seem to have missed your age, I forgive you for being immature at a time in your life when you're supposed to be. Just don't be so quick to judge, it leads to nasty thought processes later in life.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i think its the fear of getting rejected , I got rejected twice first time I didn't push a lot and I got rejected by the girl even though I was doing the nice guy , second time I got a girl but we broke up quickly almost 2 months she didn't like me ,3rd try Failed but she seemed so interested in me who cares its in the past , 4th try I got a really social and nice girlfriend with a hot looking body

o.o and I'm so happy now ,

i'm like a slut if I get rejected I don't mind at all I go and try again the next day till the world run out of girls ahahahahah.

Vasillilaw · Accepted Answer

I'm not sure that they're insecure...I think they're probably just introverted.  The only way to get to know someone like that is in a quiet setting where just the two of you can talk.  There's nothing wrong with being introverted or extroverted.  There are always up sides and down sides to every trait. Hope this helps! (:

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don't think shy guys are empty headed, I actually find shy guys to be better, more romantic lovers and loyal,  than guys who try to always have swag

human_condition · Accepted Answer

FYI, the shy ones normally have the most going on in their heads.

FlightAuror2 · Answer

Empty head? Wow, thanks...

Rejection is first on mind, second is that she very well probably already has a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, she might not look very welcoming or open to conversation, maybe she's with a group of friends and unapproachable for that reason. Maybe I'm not carrying a six-pack, or it's "on ice" for a while, haha. Maybe our personalities will clash, maybe she's clingy, maybe I'm not ready, will she find my hobbies interesting? Is she the type to lie just to make us happy, well, falsely happy. Would she be alright with the fact that I'm living with my parents, even though it's because I moved home to take care of my mom? Maybe she's not into white guys. What if she hates beards, or body hair? What if her boyfriend is like, five feet away? Is she open minded? Am I too Christian? Does she care about religion? Is she the type to attempt to change me? Has she cheated before? Maybe I'm not experienced enough for her. Will she find me funny? What if she's not funny? What if I'm too tall? (Yes, even JUST under 6 feet, I've heard a girl reject me because she found me too tall... A friend asked for me lol.) Will I come off as a creep? Has she already rejected X number of guys today? Maybe she just wants to be single. Maybe she likes older men. Will she accept my mom's mental illness and not frown on it? Will she forever wonder if I'll develop a mental illness? Will she mind my ambitions to become a signed recording artist? Will she support me? Can I support her endeavors? Will my economic status matter?

I think that's a good place to start for now. Man, doesn't look very empty to me...

Dylan1989 · Answer

We are not empty headed, we are the complete opposite of that if anything. There are millions of thoughts going through our minds.

If you're talking strictly about dating and relationships etc, the reason us shy guys are insecure is because due to past experiences we never feel as if we are good enough for the girl we want and so we are never confident enough to ask her out. We think we don't have what a girl wants and so we never even try to pursue her. Most shy guys have come through some sort of traumatic experinces in the past which have led to them believe that they are not good enough for the things they want in life. If only girls knew what us shy guys were really thinking. Shy guys tend to appreciate girls more which for some reason is looked down upon by many people (guys and girls). All we need is a girl to give us a chance and from then on our best qualities will reveal themselves. Shy guys never seem to show their best qualitites to anyone due to being socially awkward and never being courageous enough to prove themselves. Also, we find it hard to trust people and develop connections with them. We rarely speak in public, and to the girls we like, because we are afraid of being judged the whole time. I mean, if people have always given you a rough time in the past and have left you with some traumatic experiences, wouldn't you be constantly thinking what they think of you?

If only girls would give us shy guys a chance they would see we are quality guys who are definitely boyfriend material. Problem is, shy guys are often stereotyped as being weak which is not true. If a girl knows a guy is shy then she should make a move herself otherwise she is going to be waiting a long time before he finally gets enough courage to ask her out. Funnily enough, if more shy guys were given a chance I am sure the number of girls who have been hurt out there would not be as much.

thisGUYknows · Answer

lol. I will be happy to answer this. I used to be really shy around pretty girls, especially in HS. its just that the girls were so open and talkative about things. I remember girls just walking up to me and saying somethin like "hi! what's your name?!" and I would be like "uh... gabriel?" then they could go on and on asking me questions or asking my opinion on they're shoes or necklaces or somethin totally pointless (or so I thought). or if I did try to talk to them, a good looking guy would come by and they would just completely ignore me. I felt like I couldn't keep a conversation with them and if I didn't make them laugh they would just look at me weird and walk away. to me it seemed the hot girls were airheads and sometimes mean and the ones with great personalities weren't that pretty compared to them. I used to think of girls as being a whole different species. it took me too long to figure out that you're just people too and just having a simple conversation (as long as they were capable of doing so) could go a long way.

just be patient and friendly with them. if you like them then your gonna have to be more obvious than usual about it.

Vtartaud · Answer

To be honest, when I was or 5 or 6 or something I had a girlfriend that had to leave to england (I live in holland) and apparantly I was depressed for a few weeks. Then when I was 9, my best friend left for america cus his dad's family lived there, then a year later my new best friend was moving to the other side of holland cus of dad's new job.. thenI managed to get a new best friend who left for the same job reason and few months later I went to high school leaving everyone else behind and kept needing to switch schools due to a breakdown in the first class and the difficulty of getting back into highschool, next to that I was also an easy target so I was always picked on.

So ye, been abandoned and pushed away since I can remember.

But in the whole picture, it's just a small part of who I am, since I was raised to be a good guy, a gentleman.. I just need time to get to know someone, and maybe knowing they'll be around for quite a while.

shy people tend to be thinking more then outgoing people, so while we seem empty headed, it's not what shy people are.

Asailum · Answer

well first off, don't worry if some wimps got offended by calling them "empty headed"... if they got offended over something that wasn't even intended as an insult, then there's no way you could have been honest about your question without offending SOMEONE!

Now onto your question. I have been a social butterfly at times when I was having fun with a lot of friends but then there are a lot of times when I'm pretty shy and reserved about talking to just about anyone. Usually for me its self doubt and beating myself up inside(thinking I'm ugly, that my body isn't good enough, that I'm weird or different from most people, and I just always have had a very distrustful attitude with most people and look for strong loyalty in all relationships.I figure that most shy guys have something similar or related to that. Maybe the guy had an overbearing father who rather than encouraged him to talk and be open yelled at him and was cruel. Maybe he self criticizes and judges himself in a very negative way and hence prevents himself from talking and speaking his mind. Maybe he's just strange and doesn't relate to what most people talk about...There's a ton of things that could be the case here. Could you give some more details on this particular guy your talking about?

Anonymous · Answer

Some people are shy, that is the way they are. If you can't accept that then ignore them.

The way this question sounds to me is that you have your eye on some guy. He is shy and you are scared as well so you'll play the "it's the guys job and he better get over being shy cause guys aren't allowed to be that way!" game. It's not the 1800s anymore, girls now have the ability to approach guys. We aren't stupid, we know this.

If we are not comfortable possibly making a fool out of ourselves, we won't. We don't expect you to either, but don't start giving us dirty looks, complaining, or doing annoying subtle hints because we aren't making it easy for ya.

Because you have a mouth too and doing anything to try to get our attention besides talking when we aren't comfortable either is immature.

The bottom line is that someone has to start talking, and it should be 50/50 from then on. If not then it really isn't worth the person's time who is putting in the effort to keep doing so.

Also I must ask, why are we labeled empty headed if we are shy?

Anonymous · Answer

well, I'm not really young (22) but I tend to be a bit shy. while some answerers have already mentioned some answers. here's a new one for you. I'm haunted by my past. meaning, I tend to reflect to much on my past. in fact just recently, I lost three of my friends because I'm maturing and they couldn't handle it. in my distant past, I lost three friends because they moved away, never seeing them again. the three recent friends I lost don't know about the three from the past, so I got upset. shy people tend to have a rough past as they don't like to get too close to people too quick, like myself.

and yes, like the guy down below said, shyness and confidence problems are DIRECTLY related to the size of his d***. women like big d***s most of the time. if he's smaller, he'll feel emasculated. etc..

another reason why we might be shy is that we just simply don't know what to say. everything we try to say either comes out wrong or slurred or w/e. we're speaking faster than what our brain is thinking, therefore we say the wrong things. so instead of saying them. we stay quiet, after all why would we want to hurt a pretty girl like yourself ;)

hope this helps

AdamBH · Answer

Wellll we don't know what kind of woman we're going to attract and if we can do any better, we are afraid of rejection and that we won't be good enough. Relationships are basically a test of your worth as a sociable creature people who have meaningful relationships with other people are happier than those who have all the money etc. We want to make sure we are good enough and are petrified we aren't and I bet it's not just us. Now you tell me - what's going through that seemingly empty heart of yours?

Brando · Answer

If you've never had an experience with a girl (talking, kissing, dating, sex, etc.) before, then you are unsure and even afraid of what to expect. You don't want to ruin anything and don't want to embarrass yourself, so the unknown is really scary. It's also the feelings that you've never experienced before that make it tough to move forward. A guy never having approached a girl before tries it for the first time, and she seems upset/creeped out/mean about it, then it's hard to deal with it because you've never felt that before.

htowngeorge · Answer

Let me speak from my experience of my being shy. I can tell you for a fact, we are many more times affectionate, understanding, sensitive, loving, and we think very highly of the opposite gender  ie chics. Therefor we don't abuse, nor disrespect them. To put it lightly we think so much of them than our selves we become inverted and may not feel equal to or as good as to be better known as painfully shy. The sum of your point of view was very crafty. Now I'm gonna go down as the first engineer who operates with an empty head thanks to you lol.

ZenSpace · Answer

what a condescending question! The reason guys seem shy around YOU is probably because they don't want a girl who will call them "empty headed."

Have some common sense. No one wants to approach you if you are going to be cruel to them.

Seriously, I am amazed you even have to ask this.

7gnat · Answer

As an older guy I know that women were very complicated creatures. Life was also complicated. As man(you really don't ever grow up) you are assumed to be a man and independant at 18 or 21. Unless you had great parents that made you secure in your own skin, and you really believed in yourself most young guys deep down are insecure until they become more worldly. Even if there is a tough outside bravado about a young man they are still just as insecure. I think scared and lost or maybe even amused would be many of the thoughts going on in that "empty head" of ours. Always having to say or do the right thing so you don't appear to be a jackrabbit is also on our minds when we our younger.

Yeahhbro · Answer

Rejection, not be seeing as man enough, getting humiliated by a girl, not knowing what to say or do and looking stupid or desperate.

Jager66 · Answer

i think this sum's it up well enough:

Blobb · Answer

lol there are a whole plethora of reasons behind insecurities.

It could be they aren't sure they'll be good enough, they aren't sure girls could like 'em whatever. There's a sh*tton of reasons, and sh*tton of insecurities, all of which are overcome-able ^^

Lamnad · Answer

IF my memory serves me right, just about everything: am I going to pass the test, is that an other zit, why I so short/tall, does that girl like me, does that other girll like me, am I over thinking everything, what the F*** is going on with my crotch/ feet/chest/ hands/ neck/ arms/ voice.

Electric_Dreams · Answer

The insecure ones are LESS empty headed, gawsh darn it you got everythang the wrong way 'round! Our heads are so full of stuff and a lot of it makes us insecure.

Anonymous · Answer

What's with all the stupid questions on this site?  Different guys are...(wait for it)...different.  We aren't all going to be thinking the same thoughts.  Young, shy guys are insecure about the same general types of things young, shy girls are insecure about.  They're just people.  What types of things do you think people might be insecure about?  Use that head of yours and figure it out.

zagor · Answer

If you're in HS, a lot of guys are unsure of themselves and compare themselves unfavorably to their peers, though they may try to hide it in daily life.   Some guys take a long time to get over it, some never do.     As far as approaching girls, it can be very difficult to try to sell yourself when you don't have much confidence in the product...

IN5AN1TY · Answer

This is me...The one thing is Rejection. Lets face it, No-one likes to be turned down by the one we like, it just hits us shy guys the most.  Its the fear of being intimidated and for me at least, I'd prefer to avoid it altogether, I know its my shyness speaking, but it seems a rather better prospect to not bother and play Call Of Duty all day and not bother, okay I will not get rejected that way, but neither will I get anywhere.

drummerdude25 · Answer

I'd say if anything, it's generally the outgoing people that are "empty headed" as you say... At least that's what the majority of their decisions (and things that come out of their mouth), suggest.

mortablunt · Answer

A hell of a lot more than you'd get. We're also keeping away from you because you betray and hurt us constantly. We are split between anime and wanting to deck you for messing with our heads.

postt · Answer

Why do people have such a problem with me when other people find me funny/nice some girls called me cute... I like to choose what I say carefully and generally talk with people I know and are comfortable.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Tough? Whenever I read that question I'm still annoyed. Whatever, you have received various good answers, you should hand out a best answer to someone. :O

oxidizer235 · Answer

LIFE.. fear of failure, rejection, being alone, having no friends or lovers, being 'left behind' by their peers, etc...

UltimateTiga · Answer

I wish I could be empty headed, my mind used to be so happy and full of crazy imagination and adventure, and now it's a tangled mess of thoughts and bad associations that can trigger unpleasant memories and thoughts...

Anonymous · Answer

you do sound cruel and its not because you said "empty head" its because you are being blind to how all young shy people typically are...insecure.  Or are you so fabulously confident and not yet 18?

Anonymous · Answer

They could be insecure about their looks, their conversational capabilities, whatever.

raptor · Answer

Wouldn't you feel insecure if you were constantly attacked by a pair of thick mustached italian men?

Anonymous · Answer

i heard some are insecure bout their pimples (especially teenager guys)

doctorwhofan23 · Answer

Fear of being rejected I just wantba nice girl to like me but they scar me.

Eddieguitar · Answer

Its just the way their brains are. I used to be really shy but not anymore

Anonymous · Answer

Hey you've found the right guy. We feel scared to talk to girls because we feel that we will get rejected. Hell that happened to me today. I don't know why but I am starting to grow out of it.

JennyInLove · Answer

empty head lol

Yeahhbro · Answer

empty head

Cailleach · Answer

Themselves.

taster · Answer

Potential Rejection

Anonymous · Answer

The penis.

Anonymous · Answer

Like others have pointed out, rejection.

What Are Young, Shy Guys Insecure About?

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Do shy guys reject a girl because they're insecure about themselves?

What Are Young, Shy Guys Insecure About?

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Do shy guys reject a girl because they're insecure about themselves?

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