Do shy guys reject a girl because they're insecure about themselves?

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure my shy crush likes me but I think he's kind of rejected me. Does the fact that I'm very attractive play a role in this? I think he assumes that I'm more experienced than him because I get all this male attention when actually I've never had a boyfriend and am extremely shy. Why does he think that just because I'm attractive I'm confident as well? I'm just as shy as he is.

[CallMeDave]

I can answer this based on personal experience. When I was in high school, I like a girl that I though was the prettiest one in our class. I admired her from afar but never made any attempt to establish a relationship because I was a shy geeky kind of guy and figured she was so pretty that she could have any guy she wanted so I had no chance and I didn't want to walk into what I thought was certain rejection.

Years later after we were both married, I had a conversation about high school with her. At that point I told her that I had thought she was the prettiest girl in our class. It was then that I learned that she, like you apparently, actually had very little romantic life in high school and though she didn't actually say it explicitly I got the impression that if I had asked her out she'd have willingly accepted.

I don't know whether it would have worked out with us or not, but I definitely regret not trying.

If you are interested in him, I would encourage you to make sure he knows that because my guess is that he probably thinks you are "out of his league" and thinks he has no chance with you. I recommend that you make the first move so you don't end up years later regretting that you didn't like happened to me.

If you do and are willing to share, I'd be interested to hear how it works out.

[CallMeDave]

Have you gotten anywhere with this guy? I'm hoping that you've at least been able to explore whether you are both interested in trying a relationship.

[dizmuhjam]

If you're like a 10, then its too stressful having you as a girlfriend. Because of all these stares you'd get from other guys. And then there are always this male friends you have but tell him "Not to worry about"..

beauty level 10 girls are nice to look at and appretiate from a distance, but I prefer the cute girl with the glasses and the pullover thats way too big for her, that nobody else pays attention to.

[Asker]

How does it matter if I get stared at a lot? I only like him. Besides I don't even have any male friends but of course he doesn't know that.

"beauty level 10 girls are nice to look at and appretiate from a distance, but I prefer the cute girl with the glasses and the pullover thats way too big for her, that nobody else pays attention to."

That sounds really unfair.

[dizmuhjam]

Im sorry I dont mean to offend or insult you by any means.

Its simply that I didn't want to lie to you and explain how my mind and the mind of a lot of other guys work. When mentioned like this around other guys, they'd usually all nod and agree on that.

Its not like I didn't wish that it would be different. In fact I do hope that you'll get this guy if you like him so much, but I think you need to work towards that goal a little more then.

Because right now I can't imagine that he'd build up any courage at all to make a move towards you because you saying yes, is probably simply unrealistic in his eyes.

[Asker]

No need to apologise I guess you're right. It's just that I'm terribly shy and inexperienced too and it took me a lot of courage to just talk to him. I don't know if I can keep initiating stuff. I'm in a really bad position.

[dizmuhjam]

hmm. tell one of his friends to slap him on the back of his head then and WAKE UP. Tell him you're interested but dont know for how long you can keep initiating, he has to make a few steps too. His friend will tell him exactly like that. That should be easier for you.

[SarahsSummer]

He’s just shy. That’s all there is to it. Unless he’s told you these things you are assuming, don’t assume them. The problem is when two people like each other and both are shy, one needs to step up to the other. If you are both to paralyzingly shy, there’s really no point in even having a crush, as nothing will come of it. I’d say just talk to him.

[Asker]

No, I'm definitely sure he thinks all that. My best friend said the same thing that he thinks I'm more experienced and confident and that's why he expects me to make all the moves.

[Asker]

He's absolutely scared to talk to me. He gets so nervous and awkward around me.

[SarahsSummer]

Then just make the move. You can both laugh about it after you’ve broken the ice.

[LaFemmeFatale]

Yes it happens. If you hold yourself like confident girl he might be scared, even if you show him your real side he might still be scared. He can't accept you if he can't accept himself. That's a tough case.

[I_Know_I_am_Sexy]

Shy guys and more true for shy inexperienced guy don't know how to act or to express them self or their feelings around the girl they are attracted too (trust me I talk from experience)
Now what you need is to be sure of his feeling... do you have any commun friend (s) ? More importantly male friend that you trust.
Maybe you can ask an other guy to ask him subtly about you and what he thinks of you and if he's interested and has feelings toward you.
Maybe he'll open up more easily to an other guy...

Let me us know if you choose to folow any advice from here and how it will turn out 😉

Good luck !!!

[IntelligentGuy9000IQ]

This hits too close to home, except in my case she had previous experiences, and well, as a shy guy myself, my first reaction was that she's too good looking for me, but I think you should keep trying because he's probably just too nervous.

[Asker]

He gets waay too nervous when he talks to me. It's like I'll eat him up or something. It's so frustrating.

[IntelligentGuy9000IQ]

That could mean that he also has the same feelings back, you should be the brave one in this situation, but as one guy said, no one is attracted to shy guys for long, eventually he'll lose his charm and you could end up scarring him for life, either way, good luck.

[Asker]

But it's so hard for me to initiate stuff I mean I'm inexperienced myself and I'm terribly shy. It's really unfair how he expects me to do everything.

What do you mean by "scarring him for life" ?

[IntelligentGuy9000IQ]

I understand that it's unfair, but there's no other way around it the way things are now, and what I mean by that is, after you get bored of his shyness, and leave just like that, he wouldn't be able to digest that so easily.

[Unigel]

He may be anxious because of that, but nothing an open and honest conversation can't fix. I mean, if you like each other... What a waste that would be right?

Maybe try to show him that he has nothing to worry about, and even if there is... Well you'll be 2 to face it together so that's good?

[bbb10]

If you truly are very good looking, maybe he doesn't really believe you are attracted to him. I know that I steer clear of the very beautiful girls as I assume they have too many guys after them, and even if I got into a relationship with her, I wouldn't think it would last long.

[bbb10]

I know this first hand from highschool.

[serious]

For your title question, I don't know if a shy guy will reject a girl because he is insecure but what I do know is that the woman herself will lose interest in the shy after a while because the shy guy just won't take any effort or initiative and so most women will just give up.

Hence this called be called as a shy guys's rejection. However what you are asking in your title question is also a possibility.

Yes, shy guys generally are insecure. That's true.

[Dragon6901]

He thinks that because you don't share that with him. You may have to become vulnerable with him for him to see that you are. That's the nature of the beast. Initiative takes risks and you may gain him or a valuable (if potentially painful) lesson. Either way no guarantees but an opportunity for growth.

[devil2712]

Shy guys usually are so because they think that they have some qualities that do not meet the standards of her crush , they always think that how could a smart girl like her can love me? Even though there are other smarter boys than him are around her

[teeter433]

Well personally being a shy guy I think she's got better options if she's really attractive. And then I lose the nerve to talk to her in the first place and it just snow balls. You know I'd say find them on fb and I think the poke option is still a thing it's a easy way to say hello without using words.

[J0e012]

If you think he likes you and you like him just be confident and make the first move I am also quite shy and if I girl made the first move with me that would help a lot with nerves, he may also fear you rejecting him since you get so much attention

[that1guy_123]

He may feel insecure. Like he doesn't deserve you.

[Asker]

So can I do something about this?

[that1guy_123]

You can move on and date someone else. And then a decade later he will realize what an idiot he was. True story, lol.

Or you can just go ahead and do the chasing yourself. Its 2017, you don't have to wait for guys to initiate everything in dating.

[Asker]

I've tried moving on it's not working. What happened in your case?

I don't mind doing the chasing but I'm pretty shy myself and took me a huge amount of courage to initiate conversations with him. He obviously doesn't know that. I want to do more but I feel like he's just not that into me and my shyness is preventing me from initiating stuff as well.

[that1guy_123]

Back when I was a teen, there were girls who had interest in me that I did not reciprocate. I found them attractive but I felt I wasn't good enough because I had issues in my life. I still do, lol. And I didn't want to show that part of my life or make it their problem too. As an adult, I realized I was making decisions for others without their consent. What I mean is that I had to at least let them make the choice to decide if my issues would be ok for them or not. I should have never taken that choice away for them. I believed myself to be protecting them from me. But really, I was just coward to be not see where things could have gone.

If he's insecure, I don't know if there's anything you can do on your side to change his mind. But you know, persistence might work. Especially if you know he already likes you. It just may take a few tries. I don't know how easily you can brush off rejection to try again though.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Just move on, no one is interested in a shy man for long. But you're probably right, he's probably just scared to talk to you.

[Asker]

I wish I could move on that easily.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Well, keep talking to him. He'll blow it on his own.

[Asker]

Huh?

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[MrA1996]

Guys will never reject in such a situation
If they have some other person then maybe something like that may happen

[Asker]

He doesn't have anyone else.

[MrA1996]

Have you made a move?
Or he?

[sergosu97]

He might be if he's really shy. Try making him feel comfortable around you.

[TallGuy96]

Tbh i'm shy in real life and i don't try to even approach girls that are out of my league because i don't have a chance , i guess he's feeling the same thing

[Shuey]

You should have this exact conversation with him. Do ya both good.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes sometimes it can happen, we our insecure and fear will be rejected by a girl.

[gemgem]

I have done so before

[Asker]

So she moved on?

[gemgem]

Yes she has a boyfriend now

[Asker]

How does it make you feel?

[gemgem]

A bit regretful because I really liked her and am still single

[anametouse]

It's not that. He just doesn't know how to express his feelings

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[anametouse]

I think it's more of a possibility that he can't express his feelings because he thinks you are not interested due to your shyness and the fact that he witnesses other guys give you attention it means he is not adequate enough to your liking and that you will go for those other guys instead. That is, at least, my theory based on personal experience

[Asker]

Wow that's very well explained. I think this might be going on. But what am I supposed to do? I really don't have the courage to do anything more because I feel like he's not interested in me.

[anametouse]

Eh, give him the attention lol. Sounds like someone has to make a move

[YHL6965]

Not reject completely, but feel too bad for the girl, feel like they don't deserve the girl or make her happy.

[Anonymous]

It's so hot when a girl is really attractive and hasn't had a boyfriend

[Mr_Jolly]

They certainly can but also they might reject them for not being right for him.

[Humbledman74006]

A good conversation followed by action can clear that up

[getfragged1]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe he doesn't find you attractive

[Asker]

He does find me attractive why would I be asking this question then? 😅

[getfragged1]

How do you know

[Asker]

Because he stares at me all the time and has checked me out several times.

[Pinay_ako]

How did he reject you?

[Anonymous]

yes, i am afraid of pretty girls, because i am insecure about myself.

[blondfrog]

Yeah sometimes that's the case.

[Antvin95]

You should probably tell him that

[bonezrx7]

Maybe