How do I get him to Tone down the Compliments?

[Anonymous]

I just started dating someone, and I really like him, we have a nice bond. But.. he's REALLY sweet, and not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying that it gets to be too much at times, I've heard at least 5x's today how pretty I am. I like being complimented, I really just want it to be toned down because it's turning me off. :( He also talks about sex constantly.. and sends me shirtless photos.. and I don't know. How do I get him to not come on so strong? It's not that I like jerks either.

[heatherlu]

You need to be honest with him.

The problem is, the longer this goes on, the worse it's going to become for you; and you're going to resent him for it - and he's not going to understand why - and then he'll probably try to make it up to you by being even nicer.

The basis of a good relationship is truth - you've got to be honest with him. I'm not saying be mean, but - you don't want something so trivial spoiling a relationship - something that doesn't need to spoil it.

Just tell him you aren't necessarily comfortable with the compliments all the time - that you like them, but sometimes it can be a little too much. He's into you, and he wants to show you, but you need to let him know that you're into him too - and he doesn't need to try so hard to keep you interested.

As for the sex talk and the photos, tell him they make you uncomfortable - different girls like different things. The guy I'm half seeing at the moment really likes dirty talk, I don't. So he doesn't do it all that often anymore - but every now and then we will - because even though I'm not a big fan of it, he is. Give and take.

[Shaun]

If you could show him an example of how he's behaving from a movie or from some people you know or even role playing, he might be made to understand.

[doctorwhofan23]

He only says that because he likes you though.

[Asker]

I know, and I like him too. I feel so bad, but I just feel like he's coming on REALLY strong for me. How do I nicely tell him to slow down?

[doctorwhofan23]

I guess you just have to tell him but the thing is I know that at least for me I have always been shy so if someone actually would show interest in me I would want to make sure the interest was seen by her this is a trap that I would likely fall into where I would tell her stuff like that a lot maybe this is the same for him.