How do people feel about women taking lead?
How do you feel about women asking men out?
How do people feel about women taking lead?
I see no problem at all with women taking the initiative.
My wife kinda did. We met through a dating service before internet. I sent her a contact card and she accepted. It was a bit like a blind date. We met at a restaurant and had a great time. Our conversation just flowed.
I had other dates already lined up through the service and, even though my future wife and I got along great, I might have gone on other dates and then, if time went by, I might have been more and more hesitant to call her because I would be afraid that she would be mad that I took so long to get back to her.
But two days after our date, she called and said her friends had offered her two tickets to see the Rolling Stones and Red Hot Chili Peppers. She wondered if I was interested. Of course I was! So we did that and had a really good time. After that, I continued to date her and forgot about all the other potentials I had lined up.
So her proactive attitude led to where we are today. We dated for a year before I proposed. We were engaged for a year. And we've been happily married for almost 24 years.
The tradition was good but #metoo and movements place men at risk of sexual harassment allegations that deter the traditional courting process and cause men to engage in the hookup culture. Women asking men out re-balances the courting process and places women back into their traditional role of gatekeepers of sexuality. As a guy who was never a player, predator or hit and run, I cheerfully accept this eternal truth.
Good for you!!! I think more women should be proactive and ask out men instead of waiting or hoping they'll approach you.
On here, I constantly see men saying they like or wish more women would ask them out. And yes, we should.
However... the only downside is they can reject us too- believe, I know 😑
I've asked out guys and it always ends in rejection or being friendzoned.
So ladies keep in mind: don't be afraid to ask out a guy you like, but realize they can turn us down if we're not their type or they're not attracted to you.
That’s cool! Good job lol. I think 50/50 but I personally would prefer if they asked me out because as much as I wish I wasn’t, I’m traditional at core but I don’t care what other people do
Also, damn. You so openly post ur conversation here lol. Imagine if he ever found this post, wouldn’t he feel a bit of a privacy breach? I mean, I’ve seen a lot of people do this but i Personally wouldn’t want my text conversation of this type shown publicly like this. Oh well, I guess what you don’t know can’t hurt you
Opinion
113Opinion
Good for you, Girl! Hallelujah.
(See, it's a landslide vote. This is a no-brainer.)
It’s not a big deal if a woman asks a guy out. Most of the time when you know a person and there’s some flirting going on. The woman is waiting for the guy to ask her out, and the guy is busy at home with a white board Mapping out a game plan. Lol. Sometimes we are just slow in asking you ladies out. Jupiter, mars, and the North Star all have to align just right. So nothing wrong with putting the hint out there. Something subtle works well. Just tell him something like. “ OMG you are such a big daddy. When are we going out?” He’ll get that hint. Hopefully 😉
Men always complain why women don't do it. Take it from a woman who would LOVE to do that but hesitates for a reason, yet gathered the courage to do it to a guy last year and I pretty much got exactly what makes me hesitate.
I asked out a guy last year however the date did not happen and he rejected. He is now going around telling everyone that I'm not a 'good girl' because I asked him out and apparently I'm not a desperate woman.
And men wonder why women don't want to ask out... At least I'm not willing to do it if you are gonna spread gossip about it with everybody. Boy thinks he's become Tristan Tate.
@nathanp97 sure men do have to deal with harsher rejections because they tend to ask out more often. But that's not the point. The point is, as long as women are being judged for being desperate or not letting the man chase her like a true woman should (which is total BS) then women won't be actively asking out men anytime soon.
That guy was an idiot. Sorry you had to put up with that.
Don't worry we don't all do that. Keep asking guys out you will be surprised.
It goes both ways and it depends on the person.
I asked out an old coworker a year after I left that job (she rejected me), and she ended up telling everyone in that job. I found out because 2-3 old coworker friends who left before I even did heard about it and told me.
Since women do the rejecting, women should do the asking.
On Asian dating sites, the women send letters to the men introducing themselves. That's how I met "Snow" and that almost worked out. we talked for 6 months before she friend zoned me, but the only reason that happened is we lived on opposite sides of the world and just about time we were supposed to meet the coronavirus happened.
I'd use an Asian dating service again, like I said, it almost worked, because the women make the first move there.
Nothing wrong with it , I am flattered when a girl asks me out whether I find her attractive or not. I know it takes most people a lot of courage to let someone know you like them , so I always treat them with respect whether I am interested or not , I put myself in their shoes and think how nervous they must be so I try to be as polite as possible. I can’t stand people that are rude about it , it’s not like we walk around with signs flashing above our heads saying what our status is or what are type is , people that are rude about it need a reality check and realize their shit stinks also.
It needs to happen more often. Reason being is men are getting gun shy thanks to all the #metoo bullshit in the last few years ESPECIALLY at work.
Now admittedly the role reversal can be intimidating from some guys. It throws us off a bit. Also ladies fear rejection much more than men do simply because they don’t experience it as much (when all else is equal).
But at the end of the day it takes all the guesswork out for the guy. Women often send more mixed messages than guys do. We don’t know if you are just being nice/friendly or you if you want more. You can compliment both guys and girls with the “cute” remarks and not have people assume the worse. Not so for a guy. If she doesn’t think the guy saying that is attractive he is treading risky ground.
Different girl, different feelings. Sometimes I don't even know how I feel. Here's a little story: One evening, I was in the class (sort of a technical school, everybody can go to as long as they pay the fees), and a girl said to me "You wanna go out with me?" Okay, I don't remember the exact words she said, maybe there was a movie or something involved, well let's just pretend she said that. I didn't want to go out with her, and with all the classmates watching, I also kind of didn't want her to look bad. So I said "He (a male classmate I barely knew) is available." The girl had no choice but to ask him "You wanna go out with me?" Again, I don't remember the exact words. The guy was surprised and he was like "Really?" And then they went out. The End.
I've asked out plenty of guys! There shouldn't be a stigma around it. Expecting guys to be the only ones to ask people out is outdated and dumb.
Good job girl! Get after it! Haha
by the way I'm curious about this "little dress". XD
Regardless of your gender, if you find someone attractive you should give it a shot instead of waiting around playing games and hoping that they would notice you. Worst thing that can happen is that they reject you, and you'll have to ask someone else a week later.
That’s funny. Literally 80% of the “men should ask” are women and 80% of the “women should ask” are men... even funnier is that 80% of the voters agree it should be 50/50 yet still most expect the guy to make the first move.
Teaches you a lot.
I would be flattered if that happened to me... sadly it hasn’t since high school. I work far too many hours to have a social life.
I feel like women asking men out is perfectly fine. I mean.. everyone wants equality, right?
Equality means women will have to step up to the plate if they want to be with someone, and guys will have to stop defining masculinity as being the only person ‘in charge’.
Ps. Congrats on your taking the initiative! 😊
I’ve done it in my early dating years. But it didn’t work out so well when later on I had to be the one initiating everything: when to hang out, what to do, where to eat, etc.
You gotta make sure these guys don’t get lazy. Otherwise, do what you want.
Doesn't this contradict the things you say about who asks out who determining who should be dominant vs submissive in a relationship? You often say that if a woman asks a man out he shouldn't expect to be the dominant one, that she should call the shots. Isn't making those decisions a natural part of playing the dominant role?
Yes. But you see, I didn’t want to be the dominant one to that degree. I’d rather things be more balanced between who makes decisions and initiates things. But when I was 20, I didn’t really know what I was doing. The dude was taking too long to ask me out, so I asked him out. Turns out he was lazy which I don’t like.
Both men and women can ask the other out. I am married but many girls hits on me and asks me out actually, am have been in my relationship for a long time and i can't even notice it when girls hit on me and asks me out, until!!! @MrsJaximus-Lion (the wife) comes in and tries to shut down the girls and that's when i realize i was hit on. Yes ! Am slow when it comes to this. But it happens and i feel pretty flattered when women/girls ask me to go out on a date with them.
you are mine deal with it hahaha
I chose the option c because it depends upon the people. If they like the person, any person can come forward and they can ask the person. I think it's all about shyness.. Some people feel too shy about asking people for a date, and then they regret about it later on! So, I would say it is bold of women and men as well if they are asking opposite genders on date.. I would say better to take chance than regret later on!
there should be no hesitation in asking a guy or a girl out by either gender... its a form of communication that can lead to better communication, and maybe a friendship...
personally, i think it should be acceptable to ask married people out... not that they would accept, but one should be able to try...
I'm the guy who always takes the lead in both dating and relationships (including asking out). And I have it no other wise. Still, if a girl is genuinely interested in me, I'll have much respect for her asking me out (by "genuine" I mean if it's not just a phase). If the feelings are mutual, I would accept (even though I usually 'go in for the kill' myself aka asking her out) and lead the date (s). Otherwise, I will turn her down as gently as I can.
still a red flag to me
women dont love men, they love what men can do for them. so if they are willing to go as far as swallowing their own pride and do what gets them ridiculed in no time then there is major possibility that she's needed.
I'm talking from experience too
I'm perfectly okay with it. There have been times where a girl will say she likes me, but I missed all her "signs", which were not very obvious. I told them if they had asked me out, I would have said yes. It doesn't benefit a woman to stay silent. Its your life. You want someone, let them know or quit your bitching.
I dont think a woman should ask a man out. Even the guy feels less of a gu then she does and its a sign of desperation if the girl makes the first move although thats not always the case. Some girls just really like the guy and the guy usually feels the same way and says yes right away. But in your case, he was trying to be nice and reject you in a less suspicious way for 3 reasons:1) maybe he didn't like the fact that you made the first move or 2) he doesn't feel the same way but doesn't know how to say it. Or 3) maybe he doesn't want to mix work and love. You also have to think about that. It's not easy doing that because what if it doesn't work out. Then you have to see each other everyday. It's like going to meet your exs every morning.
I think you’re way overthinking this lol
He didn’t reject me, he’s genuinely on a trip to see his brother.
We’ve spent time outside of work together before, and we’ve been flirtatious for a while now so I just asked. And I gave him the option to say no as we could stay friends. Cause that’s how adults act and handle situations.
I dont think I'm over thinking it I just have my reasons for not agreeing with asking a guy out first
We don't think a girl is deperate if she asks us out. She just likes us. Girls don't liek us just becauise they are desperate.
Some guys might be put off by it, but trust me they are a minority.
I stand by my opinion. I saw his replies. There is a power dynamic in that convo. There shouldn't be one.
I don't really see that power struggle.
Power dynamic is not power struggle.
Women asking me out would be great. I don't mind either way. It doesn't guarantee I will accept. Just depends if I'm attracted to them.
But anyway, don't wait for the other person to ask you out, because they might never. You only got one life
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