Would you think your ex was pathetic if they were still single months/years later?

[Anonymous]

So, this is similar to a question I've asked before, but didn't get many answers. Here is they hypothetical:

-you dumped your bf/gf. You moved on with your life as far as making it better and getting a new love. You later found out that your ex that you dumped is still single and hasn't found anyone. This would be months (at least 6) or possiby even a year after you dumped them. and they are STILL single.

Would you ever think of them as being pathetic because they are still single? As in..."wow, they haven't been able to find anyone to be with". or maybe even think to yourself that they haven't been able to move on from you?

My story...its been 7 mths and I'm still single and prob will be for some time. My ex has no clue of this since he is in the other state, but for my sake...i feel kind of pathetic that I haven't found someone yet. what do you all think?

[tony_cyleung]

I broke up with my ex gf many years ago. The day we separated we still loved each other. She said I had changed since I started my second job and I didn't not have time for her. Both of us were emotional but very rational. We gave each other's time and space to cool down but after 5 years we gradually became less contact but I was sure we still missed each other. At last we met at our friend's wedding (sounds like an love episode) and talked hours and I didn't feel any sparks between us, perhaps the fire was completely off, but down deep my mind we were still a perfect match. I did not rush for a second relationship but it came very naturally that I thought it was time to start it all over. She was still single when I married (I wanted to be responsible for my second relationship) and years after still. I wished I had known better and initiated the relationship repair but.. I prayed and have been praying for her that she would get a better guy and move on.
That was our first love and her face is always in my brain til the end of my life.

T.L.

[mshaker]

No why would you feel pathetic, if anything your the bigger person cause your doing it on your own instead of being with some!

My ex left me 2 years ago, but just because I don't have a steady girlfriend, doesn't mean I'm not banging girls lol

I choose to be single and have 5 girls then to just have 1..

Its all personal preference.. But I know 1 day ill meet some1 that will sweep me off my feet! So until that happens, ill choose when to be with some1..

And they shouldn't think its pathetic because if anything there the 1s who left you

[Asker]

idk really know why I feel "pathetic". I guess I just wanted my life to be better now that he left so that I can feel like it was for the best that he broke up with me. Instead, it seems (from what he told me 5 mths ago) that his life has gotten imensely better, where mine hasn't. I want to be able to say "look at me now! I'm so much happier blah blah"...but I can't. he can say that, but I can't. just sucks.

[mshaker]

Of course you can... Your just focusing everything on him that's why it doesn't seem like it has..

You need to Focus on yourself, only then will you find happiness.

Look if my ex came back to me today, what would I say? we were together for so long and then she just dips for some lump... Sure I loved her, well I will always have that spot for her in my heart, but nothing more after what she did.. And I'm pretty sure to this day she can't talk about what she did to me to other people.

[Anonymous]

It's not a race to see who gets into a relationship again first.

My sister's ex broke up with her and she's been single for over a year now and he's asked out any Asian girl with a vagina and now has a girlfriend who is not nearly as smart or beautiful as my sister. He downgraded. She, however, is waiting until she finds the right person to get into a relationship with again.

Everyone heals and learns from past relationships and break-ups at a different pace. Keep doing you and forget about him and what he might think. It's his loss anyway. I doubt he would see you as pathetic, and if he did, who cares? You shouldn't care what he thinks. As long as you're not moping around, gaining tons of weight and not shaving he'll know you're surviving without him.

[Asker]

I am doing the same thing your sister is...waiting for the right guy to come along. I'm def not moping around. I've gone on a few dates, but nothing came from them because they weren't what I was looking for. I go out with friends, laugh, and have a good time. It's when I'm home, at night having no one is when I feel pathetic. I'm lonely. Hopefully soon, I meet a good guy that is right for me. Thank you for your thoughtful answer.

[Opinion Owner]

My sister is just like you. Only lonely when she sees her ex. Stop comparing yourself to him. Live your life and focus on making yourself happy. :) The right guy will fall into place sooner than you think and you'll be ready. You're welcome.

[likewoahhh]

um no. not at all. he can do whatever he wants. and you can do whatever you want. if you want to stay single, it's your choice, not for his benefit.

[RoyJones]

i wouldn't say they COULDN'T find anyone. MAYBE they turned out to be more faithful than the person who dumped and hurt them. and went off looking for a new love. to me , this shows how much the dumped person really loved the one who dumped them. and that the person who did the dumping does NOT deserve the other person, and deserves to go through the same ;)

[Asker]

I love you! Lol...u sound like a very sweet guy and I loved your answer.

[RoyJones]

awwww thx :) feel free to message me if you wanna talk :)

[awaken03]

if I think that way then I guess I am a total loser, but NO..i am taking my time getting myself back together and finding someone new is not something to be rushed..i never want to jump on any ship that easily comes along..that goes to both sexes..you don't want to find someone just for a rebound, best to get over with the feelings and when the time is right and you meet someone deserving then give it time to know them =)

[jewboy215]

I don't think you should call yourself pathetic. For some people it takes a little while and for some it takes longer. I took a year and a half off from dating after my last break up. Whatever feels right for you is what you should do. Don't let anyone try to tell you oherwise because they aren't the same as you

[Asker]

good point...i guess I just worry to much what people will think. I just feel like my ex moved on, I shouldve by now as well. but like you said, everyone is different. I guess I just had stronger feelings than he did. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. it made me feel better

[KarKingJack]

She'd better not see me that way ;)

[Asker]

Lol

[KarKingJack]

(Just incase you didn't catch what I meant, its gonna be coming up to about a year since me and my ex-girlfriend split up, and I haven't dated since)