How do you avoid a married man appears to be interested?

[Anonymous]

This man flirts, is constantly staring at me. He looks in my eyes when ever he is interacting with me. He has touched my hands when handing me something and once he placed his hand on my lower back to guide me out of the way. He is supper nice around me, and tries to impress me. He knows my name, but we've never been introduce. We work in the same building but different companies. Unfortunately I have become attracted to him, but I didn't know he was married. Know that I know all I can do is stay away from were he works. Its not easy but doable to some extent. I'm hurt and saddened by the whole thing, because I thought he was interested. Although I avoid him and no longer will even interact with him, he still finds a way to be around, just so he can stare. He's behavior is unacceptable. I may be single and lonely but I'm definitely not desperate. I'm an attractive woman that is in good shape, and I don't look my age. I consider myself way to good to be second best to anyone. Not that he's asked me out or anything, I don't understand why he does these things, its all pointless and a waste of time and energy. There was a time that I wanted to be friends, so I can get to know him. I no longer want that, all I want is to be able to get him out of my head.

Any advice would be great. Thanks

Updates

+1 y

I know my role is to stay away and never encourage such behavior. I'm sure he's just looking for attention/ego boost. Thanks for letting me vent, and your responses. This is not something that I can speak to my friends or family about. Some how all though I've done nothing wrong, its I still feel badly about it. Its a terrible thing when anyone plays with your emotions and even worse when you allowed it to go on for so long although I didn't know he was married till a few weeks ago.

[Announcement]

This is what I would do in your case. I would inform him nicely and privately that if he doesn't quite his inappropriate behavior towards me I'll have no problem informing his wife and if he's looking for a fast ass, homewrecker to look else where. I'd be very offened if a marry man come on to me because I would question how I'm presenting myself, I like to come across as a decent women and show that I have respect and good morals. I don't understand why women get flattered and egocentric when a married man hits on them, if they think properly maybe they came across as an "easy lay", unintentionally. Vice-versa to the men who get in this situation with married women.

[Asker]

I'm a professional, and I dress like one elegantly and classy. I do not go around enticing men married or single men. Its insulting to say the least, especially when you know nothing about me.

I will not become some boring looking woman, because you or anyone like you, thinks I should. Don't assume that because I get attention from such low lives, that I am one. I'm not insulted by this mans attention, I'm flattered. I'm insulted that he is married, there is a huge difference.

[Asker]

I will not stop being me. I take pride in how I look and for the record you don't have to dress like a slut to attract a married or single mans attention. Heck I don't even wear makeup. When I step out of my house that I own I make sure I'm presentable. All you have to do is carry yourself like a lady. Instead of insulting women, you don't know. May I suggest you take a look at your relationship with your s/o and try and figure out what's lacking in it.

[Asker]

If a married man is looking for attention outside of he's relationship, there's something that is lacking within that relationship.

By the way if I were a fast ass easy lay home wrecker. This man would have been in my pants a long time ago. I have way to much self respect for myself.

[Announcement]

I don't understand why you got offened? I wasn't calling you the things I mentioned. That's why I typed "this is what I would do in your case" and decided to add the things I would think if a married man came on to me. Plus, don't married people wear rings? And if you don't really like the attention and his behavior towards you tell him!?

[Asker]

I was offended because your comment was directly or indirectly meant towards me.

What you should try and understand is that regardless of how a woman presents herself. The man is STILL married he made a commitment and he should have respect for his wife and women in general. Not all men wear wedding rings. This guy is one of them.

I'm hoping by not acknowledging him he will stop and just go away. Thanks

[Announcement]

Well if you don't acknowledge him and he stops, well good. But, it's better to be straight forward so then he doesn't think something else and everything will be clear. Not everybody has respect for others and some people mistake good mannerism+politeness and think the person is coming on to them. That's why I get offended when married men hit on me because I think they obviously thought I'm interested in them and I question myself. So straightforwardness works best.

[Asker]

What could he possibly think? And why should I care? I've done nothing wrong. Unless smiling and saying hi, is bad. Don't get me wrong this man stares at me but he looks at my face, my eyes. I don't even think he notices what I'm wearing. As soon I come by he will stop and stare even if he's talking to someone. I don't think he would do that if he's wife was standing next to him. And what am I supposed to tell him, stop staring?

[oneforthetruth]

I just would ignore him, don't even let him have the satisfaction of your attention. People sometimes want things they can't have, but these situations rarely end well.

[Asker]

I agree with you totally. I will not give him the satisfaction of my attention.

[Asker]

When your married and your flirting and staring at a person, that is not your s/o, its still cheating you don't have to have a physical relationship, with someone, for it to be wrong, its 100% wrong and misleading not to mention manipulative. This person is not trustworthy, they use people simply for there own satisfaction, they don't consider anyone feelings but there own. These people don't deserve any form of attention good or bad. There toxic.

[oneforthetruth]

There's no harm in looking, but yes I would agree that if someone who is married but is making a play for someone else, then yes its 100% bad. It could be that there is something missing in his life, and he would like you to fill that void, BUT like I said it doesn't end well.

[powderized]

whenever you see this guy, you can greet him by saying "hi buddy", "hey friend", "hey mate", make sure he knows that you see him as a friend and a friend only.. and also wasting energy by avoiding him at work is silly..

[Asker]

Its not silly. Its for my own benefit. This jerk is doing things he shouldn't be doing, but he is very careful. There are things I have left out. Thanks

[DonMichelle]

You look good for your age, want him out of your head?... Become a couger, lure and ruin the youth!

[Asker]

Hey young guys are great to look at. But its kinda creepy especially when they could be my sons.

[DonMichelle]

Young, athletic, energetic sons with no/very little baggage, are at your mercy, don't have wives :)

[Shane1017]

Just know what he is doing to his wife of many years (I'm assuming) he will do to you.

[Asker]

Only if I allow it, and I don't intend to. Guys that do these things are a big pile of elephant poo.

I have no respect for married men that behave this way. I have my own book of rules and in my book he is a complete low life. I make it my business not to associate with low lifes.

[Shane1017]

Good =p