We all do , but in today’s world it is very hard to come by considering so many people are glued to their phones and social media warped their minds with useless nonsense of thinking you need to look a certain way , dress a certain way , everyone is a cheater , , Guys are fuck boys they just want to get laid and Girls are whores , they just want your money etc. the list goes on , People aren’t as content anymore they overlook what they have right in front of them and think grass is greener on the other side, no one really Knows if they are loved by someone or just being used the word trust is a word from the past , most people just like the convenience of each other cuz the second something doesn’t go their way they look to someone else to rescue them , People constantly compare their lives to others and constantly ask others for advice , , Me personally blames a lot of this on social media and smartphones , I lived in a time before we had smartphones and social media apps like Facebook and Instagram , Snapchat etc and most people were more content with each other and valued one another , when shit went wrong in a relationship you fixed it when you met someone beautiful and amazing you valued them you weren’t bombarded by tons of temptations , most people shared 1 phone in a household and no one Really knew what was going on with your life behind closed doors , and others didn’t interfere as often , pretty much everyone of my ex girlfriends from my past tried To re enter back into my life cuz it was easy just to search me up on their smartphones. They didn’t care that I was married during that time my ex wife eventually had an affair on me because she was being hit on by a coworker secretly on her phone behind my back But thanks to lovely technology I was able to bust her ass , After my divorce and entering back into the dating world , I was so lost on how people were treating each other Girls that I have met and went on dates with were secretly married or already in a relationship cheating with me behind their partners back , I been through so much shit that I feel it’s hard to actually really love someone these days , part of me still has hope but lately it’s been easier just to throw in the towel and just live my life contently without the drama , I hate to say it but I feel bad for a girl that actually falls in love with me nowadays cuz she will have a lot of walls to climb before she can get a 100 percent of my heart and convince me that she is loyal and faithful There is only so much I can give without receiving , Sad world we live in
Unfortunately, it does not work that way. You have to have something the ladies want, have something to adore, not just adoring you for you. What to do?
1. Build up your economic value and maintain / improve your physical shape. Don't compete against others--that will just bring you down and make you miserable--just compete against *yourself*. I hope that makes sense.
Believe it or not, by the time you are 30, if you: --are unmarried without kids, --with a stable and reasonably well paying job, --in reasonably decent physical shape, --with no criminal record, and --you own a home of your own, even a modest one,
You WILL be desirable, as the women start realizing their partying days are over and they need a real guy as spouse material.
2. Try an older "Cougar" divorcee, who wants to "get her groove back". She might just be the one to break you in. Your initial lack of "game" in such a situation will be non-threatening, and therefore downright appealing, to an older divorcee. And by interactions of this nature, you will get "game". No, the relationship probably will not last, but it will be mutually beneficial at first. And then, by the time you are the age of the Cougars yourself, you may even be trawling for younger babes! Or you may have already found someone and settled in.
3. Try putting out a personals ad online. You can meet people from the privacy of your home, then call them up, then meet. If it does not work out, no bad repercussions, unlike school or work. Avoid public situations where asking them out leads to humiliation and failure. Avoid noisy dance clubs where you can't actually talk to them. Like me, I am betting you cannot dance without looking foolish, and slam dancing in the mosh pits does not count (am I revealing my age here? So be it).
4. As above, Pour yourself into school / work. Make more money and/or build up skills to make more money. Or if you find an academic interest that excites you, go for it. This is always good.
5. Exercise. You are already doing this, but you say you have no results? Even if utterly non-sporting, it is good just to hike, bike, or lift weights. Don't compete against anyone--that will make you feel worse--just compete against yourself.
6. Look into antidepressant meds. They can really help in some cases.
7. Done enough of the above? Then develop an interest that takes you someplace you haven't been. Ever skied down a mountain? Scuba dived under the water? Took up motorcycle riding? Backpacked or camped out in pretty places? It doesn't have to be anything special or even costly, just anything to change things up. And you might even meet someone in the course of that.
1) I want to feel desired: Perfectly relateable feeling, ask yourself, do you feel entitled to being desired? Where does this come from? This is often a crux we see with female psyche. Once we accept that expecting to be desired leads to disappointment, we can alter our expectations around why we 'aren't getting any attention'. A hard truth is that most women don't hit on men as frequently or as overtly.
2) do you have a type, that could rule out who you're noticing? Confirmation bias works to 1) confirm that people you find attractive will continue to ignore you 2) in your disappointment, you are more likely to ignore opportunities of less cute people wanting you. Again this is a common female thing, where we only want the attention of a hot guy, when the 'nice guy' pander for our attention. Women are much more shy. Maybe it's another girl who doesn't get much attention herself. Maybe it's the girl that asks too many questions. Maybe it's the one that is awkward and stutters around you.
3) are you attractive compared to your friends/friend group? Seriously, if you aren't better at something than someone else, the girl will always pick the more talented guy. Maybe he's taller. Or maybe he's better at cooking. Maybe he is upfront about what he's looking for. Maybe he has better hair. Find what you're known for in your friend group, and if it's terrible (best at farting), work on yourself to make it female friendly.
@Xoxocutekitty A lot of my friends always say that I'm hilarious and enjoyable. But still It's hard for me to get dates because most girl's ghost me or stood me up. So, is something wrong with me or the girls I choose suck
Buddy saying you look fine could be a good thing depending on the age of the woman bear with me while I try to explain.
For some women fine = sexy... like damn he's fine.. like nothing better.. its not until recently fine has had a negative spin on it...
You can't rush a good thing! Just give yourself all the love you deserve untilma woman comes along and treats you the way you deserve dont accept anything less... a good man is a treasure!
For some reason when I was younger I was taught not to compliment my man will cause his head to grow too big and he will leave me for someone better... its not true I can say from experience the more you lift a guy up and praise him the better he becomes.. Guys in general bud dont get the recognition they deserve its not just you.. guys want compliments so they give them to women who expect them... when she's insecure he lifts her up.. when he's insecure sometimes she finds it awkward or thinks he's weak.. its unfair to our men to have these unrealistic expectations on them when in reality they need to be lifted up as well!
I can't compliment you cause I just stumbled across this post.. not like we have spoken before and I dont believe in saying a compliment if its not genuine so give me abit of time and I will... you dont need compliments to be successful they are nice but you can be successful by just saying well fuck it... she didn't appreciate or see my worth.. I threw my love away on her.. well fuck her! Its her loss I deserve better! You truly deserve better than anyone who treats you less than.. if you still live at home Id suggest moving out.. I have been in much better frame of mind since I moved out... I never got any compliments either growing up.. I just think well fuck it life goes on. Love and appreciate yourself be your own best friend cause at the end of the day thats all you have for sure!
Also as long as your looking for other people to define your value your always going to feel not good enough.. at the end of the day no ones opinion of your matters more than your own!
Dude pathetic… you wanna feel wanted or do you want people to just say they want you? Because crying on here about how unwanted you feel isn’t going to help even slightly. These women don’t care about you any more than the women you meet in your day to day. Hell men don’t care about you.
Let me tell you a well kept secret. Your value is determined by the people that you want to want you. So obviously you gotta be something they want… so basically you set your own value by becoming what others want. Not by crying on here about it. It sucks but welcome to the unfair world. I can see you and half the men you know dying without ever finding a partner.
Find value in yourself outside what others think. You don’t need their approval or desire. You want to be better because you want it. The only approval you should seek is your own. Go to the gym 3-5x a week. Learn a new language. For like $300 you can buy Rosetta Stone for life and learn something like 21 languages. Throw yourself into work and make a fortune. Invest in the big shit like crypto currency. Make yourself up. Then if you decide to settle for what passes for women these days settle and lose half your shit later but at least make her work for that alimony!
You just need to put more of yourself out there. Yes finding dates is very hard nowadays. There is still few but rare beautiful single woman out there who will date your heart out then her being too busy measuring your penis out with then keep you hanging for endless weeks. Trust me you don't want that. The more you stick your head out and the more you get rejected the more ya actually find someone. You will know when she starts coming to ya BUT you have to be patient! And be the best of you. Also on YouTube I barely post videos on YouTube BUT somehow I still get subscribers / follows like 4 - 6 followers a year but I gotten more YouTube subscribers / follower this year over a bad video!! Yes!! A bad video!! I posted on YouTube recently then they checked my other old YouTube videos and they liked on what I posted on there and the comments I gotten from other small and medium YouTubers. I remember years a ago there was a dead YouTube channel he had like 12 comments all dull and could be better and low view counts on his channel. He had a video of a video game character dying from his poor gameplay then i made this comment that no one will ever forget! But on here I have to censor it but after I put " Snake got owned!! Then mei ling got abused by solidus!! 🤣" That video reach around 200,000 views with 150 comments from after what I said. Lol
Work on your body & confidence level. These two will give you the boost you need without the external validation from females. When you become more confident, you exude more of that energy and females will compliment you more. They will feel it and be drawn to you. Shift your mindset and your life will change.
There is so much more to being attractive than how you look. I agree with what someone said about working on your confidence and stop looking for female validation. As she said, when you're confident (not to be confused with cocky), people can feel that. It helps build an attractive mind and if you can attract a girl with your mind, all else will fall into place. Even of she didn't originally find you attractive, having a sexy mind is game changer.
Sadly, in some cases that is quite hard to happen. Society right now has a very strict beauty standard. Still, you may find someone who doesn't follow it and finds you very attractive. And even if that doesn't happen, YOU ARE attractive. You don't need someone to tell you that for it to be true. ;)
We all have to accept our position in life. Some people are attractive, some are not. Some people are born into wealth and stability, some will struggle. Some have mental issues, some do not. Like most other aspects of life, this can’t be changed. Learn to accept what your life is.
Good question. It could be that the community you are in is doubting you. While playing the 'bad boy' when younger I got attention quite easily - it feels strange it is a little bit more bumpy me being me (I am devoted and gentle and kind beyond belief, perhaps they think it is a trap or fear losing it, who knows - I intend to stick out their occasional disbelieving)
I can promise you, Bro. Fat guys don't get attention from women either. Develping self-confidence is your besr bet. People are drawn to and respect confident people. And, not just in your love life. It will improve your results in every part of your life.
