Why is it when romantic movies always have the guy pursuing the woman but she don't like him at first until later in the movie?

Question

I feel like people want to see the guy chase the girl in movies to see if he will have her in the end.

If they ever make a movie about a woman liking a man but he wasn't interested at first, so after she was pursuing him he starts to gain an attraction and they become an item, would the audience like that film, would you watch it?

Yes I would watch a film where the woman won him over

No I wouldn't watch that film

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

WhiteSteve | 184 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

Honestly, I have kind of a theory about how rom-coms lead to stalker-ish behavior from dudes, haha. In real life, if the chick isn’t into you pretty much from the rip, you gotta move on and leave her alone. These movies promote this idea that “if she just got to know me, then she’d see what a great guy I am, even if she’s clearly out of my league!”, and as a result, I feel like some men have this mentality of “with some time and persistence, I can show her all my great qualities, and she’ll fall for me!” But I think in reality, most women are like “uhhh…I told this guy ‘no’ already, why is he still harassing me?” It’s all gotta come organically. “This guy doesn’t necessarily fit my physical profile, but I know he’s a great dude, and that attracts me to him.” There’s a difference between that and “Hi, ma’am, are you physically attracted to me? No? That’s cool, but don’t go anywhere, I still want to try to sell you on my personality!” Not saying there’s ZERO chance, but you gotta take that road REAL slow, and it’s something that just has to come to her, you can’t forcefully influence it.

Anyway, personal rants aside…you could probably make that movie. Might’ve even been done already, by someone, and it just hasn’t gotten recognition. I guess maybe something like a “She’s All That”, lmao, except maybe don’t take a clearly attractive girl and just throw her in unflattering glasses and baggy overalls to disguise her😂 But yeah, reversal of an old Hollywood trope could sell, if done correctly.

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Answer 2

MuddyMole

Xper 6

Do they though?
Usually they both hate each other to begin with.
Or the central guy/girl is pursuing the hot girl/guy for most of the movie, but then at the end realizes they were in love with the nice girl/guy best friend all along.
Or they both like each other from the start, and it's just other obstacles that keep getting in the way.
It's pretty rare to just have a straight up guy-pursues-girl movie.

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1 Person

Answer 3

CrazyGirl2

Yoda

I don’t think it’s the same. Maybe it’s a societal thing, maybe it’s wrong, but if the movie was about a woman going after a guy who wasn’t interested, she would seem desperate and sad! It CAN be done in television, having a female character interested in a guy who doesn’t even know she exists, but again it’s usually a situation where the woman grows emotionally and learns to respect herself, and she invariably gives up any hope of being with that guy. Well, either that or the guy does something that SHOWS her how much of an a-hole he is, and she looses interest. It may not be right, it’s DEF not realistic, but that’s entertainment today “we need to tell them what they want”! The American entertainment industry is just awful, and hasn’t had an original idea in a very long time! Just my opinion.

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Answer 4

TwinkleLily5

Xper 6

https://youtu.be/ysBrFiH1eZE

I love this movie lol

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Answer 5

Anonymous

Dude--that's just how attraction works between men and women. It's possible for a dude to "win a girl over." Guys don't get more attracted to women the harder they try. If you wanted to have a movie that worked the other way, all you'd see is the girl working out and getting hotter to win the guy over. Not the best movie in the world.

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Asker

3 mo
I would get more attracted to her

Answer 6

Asker

I would get more attracted to her

Answer 7

peterpete10205

Xper 1

Because most women are heteroromantic bisexual.
Most women are emotionally attracted to men and that's why they prefer dating men but they want the men to pursue them. But they are also sexually attracted to the female body and that's why most women like watching lesbian porn and looking at naked women.

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Answer 8

horatiohornblower

Yoda

Lots of old movies from the 30's through 50's have the woman trying to win the man over. One of the best is, "Bringing Up Baby" (1938).

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Answer 9

Babygirl_S | 100 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Yoda

I think it would seem more hurtful since girls are more sensitive and emotional. The character would have to be a very strong person to keep chasing because as a woman I would never if a guy is not interested at all. Men are more resilient when it comes to rejection. Such a movie would be too painful to watch especially if it doesn't end well for her.

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1 Person

CaptainOverthink

3 mo
The reason (Real) men are more resilent to rejection is because we/they are expected to endure it and take shit for doing it wrong until they learn to do it right.
If and when women start with that trend they are/would be too. It's not a man-thing per say but a habit society put us up to.
Not saying you said that, just saying.. 😅

Answer 10

CaptainOverthink

The reason (Real) men are more resilent to rejection is because we/they are expected to endure it and take shit for doing it wrong until they learn to do it right.
If and when women start with that trend they are/would be too. It's not a man-thing per say but a habit society put us up to.
Not saying you said that, just saying.. 😅

Answer 11

AviatorTom | 65 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

That's a classic plot line that's been around for centuries.

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Answer 12

anylolone

Yoda

Because movies are mostly made for women and women want to be pursued by a desirable guy and to virtue signal that they have better sexual market value.

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Answer 13

Anonymous

Itll seem desperate... I dont think I'd be interested in a film like that

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Asker

3 mo
Why not? That be a double standard
Opinion Owner

3 mo
Because girls arnt supposed to chase but I guess there might be a little curiosity as girls who chase guys get treated like shit.
JSmuve

3 mo
Is it not desperate if a guy you have little or no interest in constantly pursues you?
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

3 mo
@JSmuve yes its desperate too and annoying lol
JSmuve

3 mo
So why do you think hollywood romanticizes guys pursuing women who aren't into them? It sends a bad message to guys that they should just be persistent and eventually she'll say yes. But the reality is that most women will be turned off. It's kind of a disservice to guys, really.

And don't you think the fact that guys can be desperate too takes away from the whole "guys are supposed to chase" shtick. Like what kind of guy would want to if he's going to come off as "desperate and annoying"?

Answer 14

Asker

Why not? That be a double standard

Answer 15

Opinion Owner

Because girls arnt supposed to chase but I guess there might be a little curiosity as girls who chase guys get treated like shit.

Answer 16

JSmuve

Is it not desperate if a guy you have little or no interest in constantly pursues you?

Answer 17

Opinion Owner

@JSmuve yes its desperate too and annoying lol

Answer 18

JSmuve

So why do you think hollywood romanticizes guys pursuing women who aren't into them? It sends a bad message to guys that they should just be persistent and eventually she'll say yes. But the reality is that most women will be turned off. It's kind of a disservice to guys, really.

And don't you think the fact that guys can be desperate too takes away from the whole "guys are supposed to chase" shtick. Like what kind of guy would want to if he's going to come off as "desperate and annoying"?

Answer 19

jasco | 159 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

It's just a stereotype that a lot of people like. It doesn't work in real life most of the time

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Answer 20

Anonymous

stereotypical stupid scenarios. what were you waiting? 😄🤷🏾‍♀️

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Answer 21

Vegasrunner

Xper 5

It wouldn't be much of a movie w/out the drama. Hollywood movies are usually written by nerds who never got laid in H. S and are trying to capitalize off womans emotional fairytales

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1 Person

Answer 22

Daniela1982 | 79 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

Sounds like "10 Things I Hate About You". How many movies have you seen where the guy didn't get the girl?

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1 Person

Answer 23

EnglishEuropean

Yoda

Firstly, romance movies suck. Secondly, that would suck.

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Answer 24

hi_it_is_me123

Explorer

Because mostly women watch it and it fulfills their fantasy. The same reason why porn is more focused on its male audience

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2 People

hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
Oh i think it has also to do with societal expectations. It is traditionally/societal expected from men to approach or to win the gilr. At least in Asian romantic movies or old western movies such as titanic haha. I dont know how modern western romantic movies are now. Is there any good new romantic western movie? I am kinda curious now
zeitgeist057

3 mo
fulfills their fantasy? The fantasy of having a guy pursue you that you don't like, but he doesn't care about your consent and pursues you anyway? Sounds like the definition of "creep" as described by the majority of people on this other question by @stillalive. What in your eyes makes someone a creep? How do you define creepy behavior? ↗

tongue-in-cheek response, as I am aware of the hypocrisy of romantic fantasy, where it has nothing to do with the actions and everything to do with who performs them.

@hi_it_is_me123 as for new good romantic western movie I have no idea. I thought there were some incredibly romantic themes developing in the Westworld series, but then that went to total crap as it took the dystopian tragedy route.
hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
@Zeitgeist creep?
Show All Show Less
hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
I watched many movies and the guys were not creepy. What kind of romantic movies did you watch. Is a movie even romantic, when such things happen? What
zeitgeist057

3 mo
@hi_it_is_me123 lol yes I have also watched many romantic movies and the guys weren't creepy. Because it was a romantic movie. I was comparing movies (fiction) to real life (fact).

What I was saying is that a question was asked "What makes someone a creep?" and many people answered "A guy who pursues you after you tell no." or something similar. (undesirable behavior, in a real life/factual setting)

Which I compared to your answer to this question which illustrates the plot of many romantic movies "the guy pursuing the woman but she don't like him at first" and you said that fulfills a fantasy. (desirable behavior, in a fictional, made-up fantasy movie setting)

So, in conclusion, what is (desirable behavior) in a romantic move, is (UN-desirable behavior) in real life. I just found it ironic.

I was not saying that guys are creeps in romantic movies. That would be bad script writing!
hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
Oh thank you for explanation lol.
hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
As long as it is fantasy it is not that bad in my opinion. Maybe i am wrong
hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
I personally would not watch such movies but if some people have such needs they can watch these movies. Some people have rape fantasies and so watch porn about such topics but in real life they would not want to get raped
hi_it_is_me123

3 mo
I know some girls who watched movies like 50 shades of grey, you etc but would never date such guys in real life and even rejected such guys. As long as you can control your feelings, it is not a big problem lol but this is my opinion and i am maybe wrong
zeitgeist057

3 mo
rape fantasy is a good example. I have had lovers who wanted to play rape fantasy and also like you say they don't really want to be raped, but they enjoy it in a safe environment with someone they trust, it's exciting and pleasurable, unlike a real experience.

The same way we enjoy roller coasters as they throw us around at high speeds but safely, it's activating the centers and connections in our brain that tell us we are in danger, we are going to die, it releases excitement, neurotransmitters, adrenaline, etc, but we are really not going to die, we just get off the roller coaster in 5 minutes totally ok and exhilarated, talking excitedly with smiles.

Answer 25

hi_it_is_me123

Oh i think it has also to do with societal expectations. It is traditionally/societal expected from men to approach or to win the gilr. At least in Asian romantic movies or old western movies such as titanic haha. I dont know how modern western romantic movies are now. Is there any good new romantic western movie? I am kinda curious now

Answer 26

zeitgeist057

fulfills their fantasy? The fantasy of having a guy pursue you that you don't like, but he doesn't care about your consent and pursues you anyway? Sounds like the definition of "creep" as described by the majority of people on this other question by @stillalive. What in your eyes makes someone a creep? How do you define creepy behavior? ↗

tongue-in-cheek response, as I am aware of the hypocrisy of romantic fantasy, where it has nothing to do with the actions and everything to do with who performs them.

@hi_it_is_me123 as for new good romantic western movie I have no idea. I thought there were some incredibly romantic themes developing in the Westworld series, but then that went to total crap as it took the dystopian tragedy route.

Answer 27

hi_it_is_me123

@Zeitgeist creep?

Answer 28

hi_it_is_me123

I watched many movies and the guys were not creepy. What kind of romantic movies did you watch. Is a movie even romantic, when such things happen? What

Answer 29

zeitgeist057

@hi_it_is_me123 lol yes I have also watched many romantic movies and the guys weren't creepy. Because it was a romantic movie. I was comparing movies (fiction) to real life (fact).

What I was saying is that a question was asked "What makes someone a creep?" and many people answered "A guy who pursues you after you tell no." or something similar. (undesirable behavior, in a real life/factual setting)

Which I compared to your answer to this question which illustrates the plot of many romantic movies "the guy pursuing the woman but she don't like him at first" and you said that fulfills a fantasy. (desirable behavior, in a fictional, made-up fantasy movie setting)

So, in conclusion, what is (desirable behavior) in a romantic move, is (UN-desirable behavior) in real life. I just found it ironic.

I was not saying that guys are creeps in romantic movies. That would be bad script writing!

Answer 30

hi_it_is_me123

Oh thank you for explanation lol.

Answer 31

hi_it_is_me123

As long as it is fantasy it is not that bad in my opinion. Maybe i am wrong

Answer 32

hi_it_is_me123

I personally would not watch such movies but if some people have such needs they can watch these movies. Some people have rape fantasies and so watch porn about such topics but in real life they would not want to get raped

Answer 33

hi_it_is_me123

I know some girls who watched movies like 50 shades of grey, you etc but would never date such guys in real life and even rejected such guys. As long as you can control your feelings, it is not a big problem lol but this is my opinion and i am maybe wrong

Answer 34

zeitgeist057

rape fantasy is a good example. I have had lovers who wanted to play rape fantasy and also like you say they don't really want to be raped, but they enjoy it in a safe environment with someone they trust, it's exciting and pleasurable, unlike a real experience.

The same way we enjoy roller coasters as they throw us around at high speeds but safely, it's activating the centers and connections in our brain that tell us we are in danger, we are going to die, it releases excitement, neurotransmitters, adrenaline, etc, but we are really not going to die, we just get off the roller coaster in 5 minutes totally ok and exhilarated, talking excitedly with smiles.

Answer 35

LaFemmeFatale_1

Xper 6

Because how else would they make a movie last for 1 hour and 53 minutes?

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1 Person

Answer 36

Anonymous

No one would watch it because that's not what they see in life. It's unrealistic.

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Answer 37

Anonymous

There are many chick flicks where she is the one going after the guy.

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Answer 38

FýrdracaDócincel

Guru

Some men have this retarded fantasy of convincing a woman to like them.

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1 Person

Answer 39

Киттйлинк

Yoda

There’s many movies like that I think

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Answer 40

robocop666 | 55 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Yoda

dont watch this garbage its unhealthy

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Answer 41

Gwenhwyfar

Master

Definitely

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Why is it when romantic movies always have the guy pursuing the woman but she don't like him at first until later in the movie?

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