If a coworker is your 'not so secret' admirer for over 2 years, would you say it is likely it's not just lust?

[Anonymous]

Yes, to be into someone for so long, there must be more than just lust there.

Not necessarily. No matter the length of the infatuation, it can always just be lust and nothing more.

[JamesDiaz11]

Lust can last for decades; just because he has kept it up all the time doesn't mean there's any emotional depth to his desire to have you.

The fact that you haven't entertained him at all during the two year period shows that you're not into him; so, I don't know why you're even concerned about it?

[DarkCarousel]

I couldn’t select a poll answer because it didn’t seem to fit.


I would think you can lust after someone for that long and/or develop feelings for them in that amount of time. To me, a “secret admirer” is more than just wanting to sleep with someone. In my opinion, it’s more likely that feelings have developed and or could be (one-sided) love.

[JPresidente]

Lust can fade and has no real staying power unless its reciprocated. I would say there are probably feelings involved.

[RavVid]

I don't think lust lasts that long. A girl might have great tits but after two years of looking at them and undressing them mentally they simply aren't going to be that exciting anymore.

If he has feelings of wanting you they could easily last two years and longer. I am using the word wanting as I am not sure infatuation or desire or love is appropriate. Possibly infatuation is best.

Are you thinking of reciprocating his feelings?

[Asker]

Yes, but he seems a bit scared of me so I am giving him time to calm down and approach, if he so chooses. I have made it clear he is welcomed.

[RavVid]

Well we are a bit scared of approaching girls at work now because a 'would you like to have dinner with me' might be taken as sexual harassment or if the girl thinks you are below her level she might make you a laughing stock in your work place.

At my work I was keen on a girl and she did make it clear that I was welcomed and I did take her out BUT if things didn't turn out well it could have been awkward. And my work is specialized and because of that there aren't many positions i. e. hard to get another job.

So I didn't pursue it as I would have if she wasn't in my workplace.

[HighlyQuestionable]

Yes, if the man or woman has any emotional depth whatsoever.

[Rockstarrrrr]

You ( and them ) will never know until you're together / dating...

[Anonymous]

I've had admirers for over 10 years...