He's Embarrassed and Pulling Away From Me. What Should I Do?

[gangymit]

I've been seeing a guy for a few months and things have been going great. He's cooked for me, taken me out, cleaned for me, made up his bed really nice for me, and we've had awesome conversations. We've had sex in the past two months. The second time was last week. He went down on me and really tried to get me off, but it didn't happen. He'D even bought a toy for me and it didn't work. I was fine with it, but he got really embarrassed and down over it. Well, it's been eight days since and he hasn't contacted me. I sent him a hello text on Tuesday, to which he responded within an hour, but that's it. I made the mistake of trying to talk to him about last week in a subtle way and he played dumb. Should I keep waiting or move on? I really like him, but my feelings are starting to get hurt he's not contacted me. I tried to reassure him about me not cumming, it's SO not a big deal for me, but it doesn't seem to have worked. What should I do?

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Your guy sounds sexually inexperienced but he sounds like a sweet guy. But not being able to get a girl off is akin to not being able to get it up. And trying to talk about it and discussing why that is will always back fire on you.

In any case, he is being immature about it by not calling you back and texting you an hour later if that's like him to do so. He probably feels like you are not attracted to him and if that is the case then why are you with him? That's what is going through his head. What you should do is not try talking about it, what you should do is send him a voice mail about why he has been ignoring you which is hurting your feelings, and subtly tell him that last time you couldn't c.u.m was because of some issue you had going on, hormonal imbalance, bloating, gas, cramps, thought your p.ussy smelled or it itched, just make something up. Next time he comes over, guide him but don't tell him, how to pleasure you. Grab his hand and show him where to rub, take his head and move it around the way you want his tongue to go, thrust your f.ucking hips into his face, make noises that will turn him on, finger yourself till you get wet and then make him lick it off and then pretend like your wetness is because of his doing. And be creative and role play, if you want him to dominate you because it gets you off, go buy some handcuffs and heat causing lube and some blind fold and go to town.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

if that's not like him to do so*

[gangymit]

We aren't a couple. I told him last night it hurt my feelings he hadn't contacted me and he sat in silence on the phone. Then he made one of those "I don't really care if your feelings are hurt, but I'm going to acknowledge what you've said with a noise because I'm not a d***" sounds." I think he's used me for sex. I said with great finality after that, "Ok, I'm going to let you go. Take Care." And that was that. :( I fell for his lines and his actions, but he doesn't give a sh*t. He's proven it

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

you know more about what happened than I do, but I think you are right, he played you, or if that was what his intentions werent were initially, it became so later on, I think he just lost interest the next time you guys were doing it, idk

[gangymit]

It blows my mind because last week was the first time we've ever had SUCCESSFUL, good sex. I was a virgin, lost it to him, and it was always painful and slow going. Then BAM, I got wet, and we were able to go at it. I got into it and honestly, things have gone south so quickly now that I feel bad for having enjoyed myself. I guess he liked it better when I was demure and shrinking away from him. What a d***.

[Blahbabla]

i wouldn't mention anything just contact him like nothing wrong.. just be like, "hey whats, up I think we should hang out tonight" or something don't elude to anything, just talk like yall are a couple and hang out, if it leads to sex it leads to sex...

[gangymit]

We aren't a couple. I told him last night it hurt my feelings he hadn't contacted me and he sat in silence on the phone. Then he made one of those "I don't really care if your feelings are hurt, but I'm going to acknowledge what you've said with a noise because I'm not a d***" sounds. I think he's used me for sex. I said with great finality after that, "Ok, I'm going to let you go. Take Care." And that was that. :( I fell for his lines and his actions, but he doesn't give a sh*t. He's proven it.

[Blahbabla]

i didn't literally mean a couple, sorry to hear that, but its good for you, even if he did use you for sex its his loss. and you don't have to deal with him anymore. :)

[gangymit]

True. He actually texted me last night and said "How are you today?" I ignored it. Apparently, he didn't get the message when I abruptly ended our phone call the other night. He'll get the message soon enough. Thanks for the advice.

[Blahbabla]

honestly once you start distancing your self he will show more interest... more than likely anyway... I've had it done to me and it sucks... hahah but keep it up just find someone that's worth your time :)

[Anonymous]

I know the feeling of being ignored it hurts. I think that you can reach out to him and try again before you call it off. Try to take the focus off of sex first. I think that you should just spend time with him doing other things you both enjoy, to bring you guys closer together. It should not just be all about sex to him and I think that you have to reassure him that by showing him you are interested in him as a person and not what he can do. Take him out or fix him dinner or something like that, just to show him that you appreciate him, and that there is more to yall relationship. Then work up to the sexual aspect of your relationship, where you both should be open to each others feelings and emotions and can discuss everything freely. If you really have feelings for him, give him time. After a while if he's not opening up to you and turning you down, evaluate if you want to be in the relationship with him, because if there's no communication, there's no relationship. Good luck and keep me updated

[gangymit]

Thanks girl. Great advice. I essentially ended things last night. He doesn't care about me, I think he's been using me for sex and yeah, he WAS embarrassed, but I don't think that was the issue. I finally just called him last night and we chatted for a few minutes. He asked what I was referring to this week when I asked if he was upset, and I told him it hurt my feelings I didn't hear from him. He didn't say anything, just sat on the phone. He doesn't care. I said "Take Care" with finality. Done

[Opinion Owner]

yea you don't need anyone who doesn't care about your feelings. if he really cared, he would have at least said I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. you seem like a great girl, and you deserve better. he's missing out, and there's someone out there who is looking for the same things you are and who will cherish you

[gangymit]

Thank you for the kind words. I really believe that, too. He IS missing out, but it's his loss. He actually had the gall to text me last night "How is your day today?" I ignored it. I will keep ignoring him. I don't know if he didn't get the message on the phone Thursday night when I abruptly ended the convo and said "Take Care." He's gotta know he messed up, but it's going to take more than some pointless text to make it up. He SHOULD have called, not texted. He's a fool!

[Opinion Owner]

guys don't think like us. what means the world to us means nothing to them. he didn't get the hint after you said take care cause he asked you how was your day, so he thinks nothing is wrong. if he calls again tell his ass off. tell him how you feel and how you won't be made a fool of.

[gangymit]

Will do! Thanks for all the support. If anything major happens, I'll update. I leave for the beach Monday, but anticipate him calling or texting. He'll get the message.

[Opinion Owner]

yes definitely keep me updated, and good luck

[gangymit]

I just got off work about forty minutes ago and he sent me a text at 9:17 saying "Would love to see you before you leave for the beach." Is he crazy or just STUPID? Oh yeah, no apology, no nothing, but HE wants to see me. Wants me to come over and sleep with him, more like it. IGNORE. I can't wait to run into him somewhere looking fabulous after I've ignored and turned my back on his ass!

[Opinion Owner]

yea he just wants to get you in bed. totally ignore him. he really is such a jerk

[Anonymous]

Might be something he has to work through...guys' egos are fragile, and that's sort of a part of it, making us come and being able to please us. Just contact him, ask if he wants to meet up...see what he says...when you meet up, directly ask what's up, don't hint or be subtle...if anything, you may have to reassure him, you're fine, but remember, he might not be...

[italykam]

Just sk him to hang out with you then ask him if something is wrong. DOn't go into anything before he says what he needs to get out.