Im moving to a new school for grade 12 in Canada. im quite shy and have previously been labelled as introverted. tips on making good impression?

[Anonymous]

i would for once in my life like to be perceived as confident and have a large social circle, plenty of guys have still liked me. but im moving to a new school and understand that i have the power to create a new personality for me and be popular, well liked, etc. so please leave tips to make guys like me at this new school and other tips to adjust well and not be left out and awkward.

[WaterIsland]

I’m not sure in Canada. But in the US 12 grade is the last before college or starting whatever life you want.


Therefore it’s just extremely difficult to form those social connections. People are already settled in their ways and friendships. It’s hard to break into that.


I’d say the biggest thing is to set a goal for yourself everyday in the morning. And work to achieve it.


Here’s another tip. Although connections are already built. It also means that even if you make an awful impression, it’s only for 1 year. So you truly can’t go wrong. Take risks and be bold. I mean what’s the worst that can happen? You have a tough social life for 1 year? Then it’s over. That’s not that bad and the upside is infinite.


One final thought. I’ve found that people often overthink things WAY more than other people. We make up stories about what if this person doesn’t like me when I approach them. Or what if they’re mean to me. Or what if they think I’m crazy. Etc etc. But the majority of the time, it’s not true and all in your head.


Imagine someone comes up to you and starts a conversation with you. Is your first thought gonna be that they’re weird? Or crazy? Of course not.


So try to put those random fears out of your mind and focus on pushing yourself to do things that if someone did the same to you, you’d find it nice.


But it’s not easy and I’ve dealt with similar things. Hopefully this helps you tho. Feel free to comment or message if I can provide more clarity. I kinda wrote a lot here haha.

[Anonymous]

Good luck to you
I've tried and hated being a different person and realised I just don't like being around people and can't act like you do anymore

[ZiZi_Bell]

First thing to remember is to not try and create a "new" personality. People can tell when someone is pretending and even if they aren't consciously aware of it it can put them off.

Instead, really figure out who YOU are. Be aggressively, unashamedly, unapologetically yourself and people will respond to it.

If you just be yourself without care of what other people think you will come across as more confident and have far more luck than if you try and turn yourself into someone you think other people will like. Plus, keeping up a persona like that is exhausting, and you will eventually slip, which will cause a lot more backlash than if you were just yourself.

[WaterIsland]

100% to this. Couldn’t have said it better.

Huge difference between creating a “new personality” and setting goals for yourself. Be yourself. But if you want to be more social and have new friends, that is a perfectly reasonable goal to set for yourself. But always be yourself.

[ZiZi_Bell]

Exactly.
What a lot of people don't realize is that if you pretend to be someone else to make friends, you most likely aren't going to end up with friends that the real you enjoys hanging out with. So what's the point?

I'd rather have 1 close friend who likes me for me over 20 aquaintances who only like the character that I am playing.

[WaterIsland]

For sure. And even at that, people do change and grow naturally. Which causes friendships to drift apart sometimes. But no reason to put up a front to do that.

I can definitely think of situations in my past where I stopped being friends with someone because I thought they were putting up a front. It’s never fun.

[ZiZi_Bell]

Same. I've never been happier than when I started acting the way I wanted to instead of trying to fit into what others thought I should be.

[es20490446e]

Popular for what purpose?

[Asker]

i spent 3 years (of my olevels) at a different school and felt pretty invisible although i did get a lot of attention when i was new, the teachers and students alike always favored the more popular students. as i mentioned above i would like to have a good social circle and group of friends.

[Asker]

also for purposes like club activities, prom queen and homecoming queen if possible

[es20490446e]

People like people by default.

If you just talk to people, and you are moderately nice, nearly everyone likes you.

Nothing more complicated than that.