There is a guy who I like. As far as I am aware, he has a girlfriend, but still innocently flirts with me?

[Anonymous]

What behavior on his part would be considered crossing the line? At what point should I bring that conversation up?

[Anonymous]

Flirts how? I ask because a lot of women will take it as a man is flirting w her if he’s laughing w her, smiling, having a good conversation. Especially if he does it every time he sees you. Which may not always be the case. I talk to a lot of women at work, especially the same ones because they’re easy to get along w. A lot of women may see that as flirting. It in answer to what you said it formed a. Most times I’d say if he’s doing something he wouldn’t do if his girl was there. It too that isn’t always the case. Some men won’t open a door for a girl or help her w something even if she was there because maybe she gets jealous quick then starts an argument w him later for simply being kind.

[Asker]

What if there is physical contact involved?

[Opinion Owner]

Depends on where that physical contact is? Like I’ll bump into certain female co-workers at work and laugh. That to me is saying hey what’s up. I may be happy as well in most of those cases, doesn’t mean I’m flirting w them.

[Asker]

Bump how?

[Opinion Owner]

Like a shoulder-to-shoulder bump, side-to-side

[Asker]

So what does flirting look like for you?

[Opinion Owner]

To men flirting usually involves trying to touch her, like her hand, sit close to her, do a lot of things for her that you don’t normally do for other women. Tease her a lot, especially about other men who like her who you know she doesn’t like in that same way. Stay over at work w her, offer her a ride home or to walk her to her car especially if it’s dark. Maybe get her a drink or something to eat on your way to work. Maybe she tells me the day before how much she’s likes a certain snack, I may pick it up. Goes out of his way to run into her “accidentally” even if she doesn’t work in his department. Find an excuse to come to her just to talk to her.

[Asker]

Thank you for your in-depth replies. I honestly am trying to figure out if I misread something, cause I know so many women do it in general. It has happened to be before. Based on the above answer, it's probably in the beginning stages because he will try to invade my personal space, touch my arm/shoulder multiple times in a row. I tried to compare my experience in when would try to bump into certain coworkers (who I had no feelings for) and yet these seem so different. He teases me, at times winks at me. There are times when I first see him he will stop in his tracks, intensely look at me and just smile.

[Asker]

Now if this continues, should I point it out to him?
I'm trying to think of a way to minimize our interaction, but he always finds me.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like he does like you.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so you’re saying you don’t like him?

[Asker]

I do, or at least I think I do. But if he has a girlfriend, that is forbidden territory for me. I can only imagine if I were in her shoes. I know situations aren't always black and white but in this case I'm trying to do the right thing.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok yes that would make sense. But find out first if he has a girl.

[Asker]

And if he does?

[Opinion Owner]

Then you stick to your morals. You may have to just be direct w him.

[Asker]

I guess the faster I go through this, the faster I move on.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. So find out for sure if he does. If he does you already know what to do.

[Asker]

Can I ask where you are from?

[Opinion Owner]

From the US

[Opinion Owner]

What about you

[Asker]

Same. What state?

[Opinion Owner]

Probably the same one as you. Don’t like revealing exactly where. On the west coast

[Asker]

Thank you for the chat!

[Asker]

Would putting one's head on your shoulder also constitute the same a friendly bump or is that considered as more in your book?

[Opinion Owner]

Depends. It could be a sign he likes you. Something like that shows vulnerability in a lot of cases, especially from men because men don’t always do things like that. So he’s showing you he feels safe, not afraid to show his feelings. But what exactly is the reason why he put his head on her shoulder

[Asker]

I think he was making fun of me and while we were laughing about it he did that.

[Opinion Owner]

Even if he was making fun of you there’s a difference in someone who makes fun of someone because they’re just mean as opposed to teasing you in a caring way.

[Asker]

Oh, he was teasing for sure.

[Opinion Owner]

Than like I said he probably likes you

[Asker]

Great... now I have to bring it up, if it continues. Be the bigger person.

[OlderAndWiser]

If he says anything that he wouldn’t say if his girlfriend was present, then he has crossed the line.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[serious]

If he has a girlfriend and is still flirting with you then that is not innocent behavior

[Goodboy11]

How is that innocently?

[Asker]

So I should point out his behavior?

[Goodboy11]

Okay, as i see you confused what to do. Its not feels ethical but you still want right?

[Asker]

Well, I do like him, yes. But I will not cross that line. I don't think that my behavior shows that I have feelings for him, but he still is the initiator of it.

[Goodboy11]

Maybe somehow he understood your feelings

[laly520]

innocently?
nah not right

[Topg7867]

he's making you as backup