So there's a guy I work with who is married and he comes on regular nights out in work. Ever since I met him at one social night he was very nice with me and even came up and hugged me halfway through the night. I have seen him on a few nights since and he has been kind and offered me advice and asked me questions about myself. When I told him about my break up he asked me how many guys I slept with since and he seems to want to know how many boyfriends I have or who I am interested in even though I am single or just dating. He has told me personal details about himself and he compliments me a good bit like saying that I was gorgeous looking and funny. I told him that married men are off limits and he agrees with me but his behaviour doesn't change and he still invites me to nights out and reacts with a heart to one or two of my messages. He invited me out this week and now he is asking me not to drink with him and I was thinking if that is a stunt as he wants some action from me while sober. Why is he behaving like this and what do you think of his request for no drink?
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Oof girl, this sounds like a tricky situation with that married coworker of yours. Some of his behavior like the compliments and sharing personal stuff could just be friendly, but inviting you out alone after your breakup and asking questions about your dating life/partners does seem a bit over the line. I'd be cautious. His request not to drink is definitely suspicious - like he thinks if you're sober you'll be more likely to do something you regret. Which is super uncool and manipulative! Even if nothing physical happened, an emotional affair where you guys confide way too much stuff could still hurt his wife and family. As much as it's flattering to have someone's attention, this just isn't the right kind of attention. I know it's hard, but stay away from one on one time with him outside work, even if it means missing out on those nights out. Keep things light and friendly when you see him at work, but put some distance between you two for your own good. You seem really sweet - don't let any dudes take advantage, married or otherwise!
If your husband/ boyfriend was having these discussions or exchanges with another woman, would it make you uncomfortable? There's your answer. Avoid this guy!!