If I guy invites you up to his apartment, does that mean he has certain intensions?

[madeline1111]

A classmate from grad school and I hung out a few times last year...but I moved away. I wouldn't call them dates...we did go out to eat...and then he tried asking me if I wanted to do something else after because he "wanted to spend more time with me." I might sound stupid, but am just really naive to the intensions of the opposite gender. In my mind, we are just classmates/friends. He's nice and all...just too arrogant for me. I don't care how much money he has...or what his body fat % is...but other than that we have good conversation and he is smart.

He texted me the other day and he just moved in close to me...and he wants to "hang" out. He'll probably ask me if I want to see his apartment after we hang...

So...I just want to know what other guys think about this...if you ask a girl to go to your apartment...do you expect her to get physical with you? Let's just say I have zero "physical" experience...like I'm a never been kissed super virgin. Most people don't believe this at all...cause I'm 27...and I'm not "ugly."

[Slugworth99]

There's nothing shameful in being a virgin at 27. So, put that out of your mind.

I would meet this guy at a coffee shop or similiar public setting. Spend some time scoping him out, see what his interests and intentions are. If he really pushes the issue of coming back to his apartment, this could be a big red flag with "I want to have sex with you" printed on it. Approach this very cautiously.

One thing I don't think you may have thought of. Most people in the mid to late 20's are no longer virgins. Sex may have become common for them. He may think that having sex at your age is no big deal. Well, 14, 18, 21, 27 - it is a big deal. Deadly diseases and becoming a single mother should be enough to keep you guarding that part of your life until you are ready. I was 15 when I first had sex - and I was a stupid kid for it.

I would highly recommend you not go to his apartment. If you like this guy, get to know him better first. You two have been apart for a while. Who is to say how he might have chagned - for the good or the bad.

[Ryan82]

Ummm...yeah, he probably does... You seriously can't tell if he's attracted to you or not? You should definitely invest some time into learning about the opposite gender. There are many books out there that are incredibly beneficial. I've read a few. You do want to have boyfriends and eventually get married, right?...From what you said about him, the situation, and my own experience, he's definitely going to make a move on you if you go to his apartment. You don't even need to read any other answers. He WILL make some kind of move on you.

[madeline1111]

No, I'm probably not getting married, therefore there is not any reason to emotionally invest in boyfriends...or dating. Ok...thanks for letting me know. I won't go up, then.

[Ryan82]

Sarcasm?...f***in weird

[madeline1111]

Umm...no...that was not sarcasm. I apologize if you thought I was being rude...that was not my intent..I was being serious.

[Laetron]

Wow, NEVER getting involved with boys or dating? There's a reason people hook up -- it's an amazing, exhilarating experience and you don't know all life has to offer til you try. Not saying you should when you don't want to, but really think about it.

[sunny_iris11]

it's possible, I mean guys are guys.

Hormonally raged people.

but if ya'll are close and if he seems genuine bout just hanging at his place then thts tht.

Its really up to you if you allow things to escalate.

Like, If he starts getting all touchy with you all you have to do is say "stop"

Most of my guy friends invite me over just to hang or play on their X-boxes so it really depends on how you act when you guys get to his place

[stubbsy]

Not all guys have an agenda like this, so its down to your talents to tell you if you trust him enough to be a gentlemen about the invite or he has an hidden agenda to it, but you can always say to him, "for coffee right" and if he is your friend and has never hit on you before, then he is probably being genuine, but make sure you trust him enough to go in, but if your feeling a little off about it, just say "another time maybe" and explain that you don't want to give anyone the wrong impression, with that he should reasure you that his intentions are strickly platonic in value. Your going to be super attractive to men, having remained a virgin is something so rare you will be desired by many, but with so much talent, you need to be aware that there are guys who will take a chance on you, just because your a virgin. Girls like you are rare, I admire your talents, and wish more girls were like you, stay safe,x

[madeline1111]

Well...thanks for thinking it is good the way I am...what do you mean by "talent"...If I'm a virgin...I don't have any...right? LOL..

[stubbsy]

Lol no talent is an expression used when a girl values her self worth ad don't abuse it to impress or get what she wants, her talents will tell her how to judge, for example, that little voice that tells you not to trust someone, or that some bloke is nasty, women have an intuition about a lot of things, weather a bloke is good or bad etc etc, that is what talent is, and being a virgin proves there's lots of it in you, girls like you really are rare, and widely admired,x

[madeline1111]

Ok...I get it...LOL..

[vascion757]

Can't guys and girls just be friends? Maybe your just over analyzing the situation. He probably just wants to rekindle an old friendship? You don't have to be physical with anyone if you don't want to. Not all guys just want to get into a girls pants. But it's true we think about sex every 7 seconds so who really knows!

[madeline1111]

I'm asking because I have had really bad experiences in the past with guys that were friends. I was really naive...but straightforward that I just wanted to be friends from the start. I've had about 6 or 7...even a married one...that became obsessive...and I had to tell them to back off...and I eventually just completely shut them out of my life and stopped taking calls. Yes, I would like to think guys and girls can just be friends.

[madeline1111]

However, it has never worked out with me. They always want more...and it gets uncomfortable...my girlfriends don't have a problem having guy friends...I don't get why I do.