What does it mean when a guy invites you over to his house?

[Anonymous]

well me and this guy have been talking for some months now and whenever he invites me over, we end up watching movies and making out. we have never had sex before because I'm not ready. well recently, we haven't hung out in a long time but we usually see each other around campus briefly and he texts me everyday. yesterday, he got drunk and told me that he wanted to see me but I said that it was too late. today, he asked me what I was doing tonight and I said nothing. then he said "u mean coming over" and I just smiled.

so what do you all think? does he really like and care for me or is there something else I'm missing? and how do I make it clear to him that I want something more than just making out. to be his girlfirend

[Anonymous]

i know exactly how this feels, its like you like him a lot but you don't know if you should continue what you have because you know it will be there or if you should risk putting yourself out there and saying "hey I want more than making out" and risk him pulling back completely. I suggest before you make out with him or do anything else ask him flat out if he wants anything more that fwb. if he doesn't its not worth your time worrying about. but if he does you'll feel so much better. either way you will have an answer and you can go from there. I say this because the same thing happened to me and long story short I ended up getting screwed over and it still hurts. hopefully this works out for you! :)

[Asker]

the thing is we kinda talked about this already. he said he wasn't looking for a relationship but he could see us together. so I don't wanna risk bringing it up again.

[cutieuk]

The situation as you describe it is that he is looking for a hook up and your looking for a relationship. Firstly stop being so available, he has to understand if he wants time with you he has to earn it by treating you as a female and respecting you as a person and taking you out for a date. You going over to his, you are putting yourself in a vulnerable situation.. If you want to know where you stand stop going around every time he calls, and if he is serious about you his actions will prove this, otherwise the best thing that will come out of it is that you will know where you stand. Start making and going out with other friends too.

[Asker]

thanks :) I just turned him down because I told him I have a paper to write..he seemed kinda mad because he logged off after I told him that but I don't know

[cutieuk]

You don't have to give explanations why you can't meet just be confident and tell him your busy, if he wants to continue the conversation tell you must go you have lots to do and say bye put the phone down. Don't answer his every call. He got mad at you because he is realising he is about to loose control of the situation, and perhaps now you will see his motive behind the situation. Concentrate on your studies priority no1 & start socialising with other people.

[Anonymous]

Wow am experiencing the same exact thing. Since he's white and I'm black I thought that maybe that's they way it went. I haven't gone back because I don't want to be a fwb.

Thanks for posting this question ;-)

[Asker]

haha no problem :)

[Guacamole]

It sounds like you're kind of groping blindly in the dark, trying to figure out the nature of this relationship. You want something more formal and it sounds like you have no idea what he wants (to be your BF, just fwb, just pals). If I were you I would take the initiative and tell him that you like hanging out with him and you think it would be fun to do more stuff together. That'll let him know what your aiming for .

Keep in mind, he has a pretty good deal going with you now, so he may try to be vague and hazy. If he is, let his actions tell you his intentions (in other words, if he begins to ask you out more and take you places instead of just texting and sometimes making out.

[Asker]

yea we kinda spoke about this when we first met. I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship but if it happens, it happens and he said the same thing but later on I told him I was looking for a relationship. so I don't wanna bring it up again. what do you mean when you say he might try to be vague and hazy

[Guacamole]

Ah ... mistake number one -- don't lie at the start just to "get" the guy. So saying you don't want a relationship if you really do want one (it doesn't make you weird or desparate to say that you are looking for a relationship "with the right guy," meaning maybe him or someone else.

I said he might be vague or hazy in his answer as a way to give you a non-answer answer. That would basically be continuing things as they are, which is not what you want.

[Asker]

yea that's true..i shouldn't have lied but I did tell him the truth later on. the last time I asked him what we were he said, "lets put it this way, if I see you with another guy I'd be PISSED" so I really don't know what he wants

[Guacamole]

That's an interesting non-answer. He's saying that he wants you to be his one, but the commitment on his side ... uh, not so much. That's what I was talking about when I warned you to expect valgue and hazy answers. Until you change things, he's got all the reason to be happy while you're eft wondering what's going on.

[NiceGuysDoFinishLast]

Sounds to me like he's just tryin to hook-up.

If he starts getting lower and more aggressive with his hands each time you make out, even after you warn him that you don't go all the way, and if he's not talking to you a lot (I.e. taking more of an interest in your life and problems, etc) and just wants to get physical when you come over, then yeah he doesn't care about you that way. You're just a hook up. Sorry

[darkknight1x]

He wants to have sex with you and nothing more. If he wanted a relationship he would take you out on a date and get to know you better.

[Dublin4ver]

Yup, not promising. I have one that has twice invited me to dinner at a restaurant we both like only to say, after I have accepted, how about my place instead? I declined last time and this time I'm dumping him.

[SmallMember]

I think it means he wants you to clean his house for him.

[JustDance]

nono, he wants her in the kitchen silly.

[Asker]

-_-