I pushed her away by trying to keep her, now how do I get her back?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girl had a 6 month relationship which was very intense and got very serious very quick. We discussed moving in together and everything was great. I didn't see her for about a week and a half and when I saw her again I knew it was over. She explained that she had been thinking of certain things about me and "fell out of love" but wanted to see me for the 5 days we had planned to see each other to make sure she was out of love. I told her I would take steps to correct the issues. The 5 days went well, saying she still loved me and "we are going to have adorable children" on the last day of her visit. The next day she said she needed a little time to think and I pressed her for an answer if she wanted to be with me or not; she chose not to because she wasnt sure. The following day I called her up and told her to take her few days and get back to me. Thinking that I had no chance in hell, but also thinking she was still in love with me, I drove to her house (2 hours away) to show her I care--it didn't go over well. Over the next few weeks I had reached out through text, AIM, one call and an email (a total of 4 attempts at communication after I went out there like a fool). I feel like I pushed her away, and all I want is to have her back. Perhaps if I had given her her space I would not be in this situation. It is important to note, however, that she has a pattern of being in a good relationship and then leaving when she comes up with an issues (as opposed to working through them). Any advice? HAve I lost her for good? What can I do to get her back after I pushed her away like that?

[rosc074]

First of all, you aren't alone, I believe a lot of guys will continue to try and have a hard time letting go. Because you continued to try IS NOT the reason things are the way they are. She was acting unsure and thinking about taking a break and/or breaking up before you did anything that you feel is pushing her away. I really don't have any advice on getting her back sorry. In these kind of situations I feel the best thing to do is just let her have her space and try to keep your mind off of her, even though I know it is difficult (try taking up a new hobby or something, I usually will go work out or run.) I am a true believer that breaks in a relationship are bad, once they happen once they will continue to happen down the road. I know its probably not what you wanted to hear, but I hope this helps. I am serious about the first half though! Oh one last thing, if you do get her back the relationship will be odd and untrusting. You will always be thinking if she is happy and whether or not she is thinking about doing it again. Take a month or so break from girls and then go find another! There are hundreds of beautiful girls out there, I am 100% sure there is another one out there for you, a better one! Even though you probably don't believe me right now, you will see.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice rosc. Honestly, you sould like each of my buddies that I have asked, for some reason I thought the internet would be a better way to get different answers. I know she was thiking about breaking up prior, but I feel like my actions pushed her away from a future possibility, or from deciding she did want to be with me. Oh well, you are right there are other fish in the sea!

[miserable12]

This is happening to me to. I did everything to get her back. Flowers texting bagged. It pushed her to someone else... the truth is us being. Like this made them look at us like we was week... That's not attractive... they will go through test there rebound and if they have time away from u. They will contact u when they brake up... only thing u can do is find someone else... they will find that attractive... it's up to u to take her back when this happens... hang in there but don't wait for her... u will know when she's back... just forget right now... best thing to do

[asnchic118]

From a girls perspective, if my boyfriend did what you did and drove 2 hours to see me I would be touched and see that he did really care. You didn't do anything wrong. It seems like this girl can't make up her mind. You did your part by showing her how much she meant to you and now its all on her to make up her mind. I say give her time and leave her alone but tell her how much she means to you and how you will let her think about it. Just know that as a guy you tried and if she doesn't want you anymore its her loss.

[Anonymous]

You haven't pushed her away... instead you've shown her that you care for her... well if I was in the situation... I wouldn't make any sudden moves... just be there for her.. show her that you're the loving and kind man that will stand by her side regardless. Perseverance would be the key. Yet don't seem too desperate, but be confident on your decision... and then let her decide... if you made the right moves then she will be drawn to you. God Bless. =)